There are so many voices telling me who I should be
I try to hear through the noises and hold onto wht I believe
When I listen closely, I start to open my eyes
And I'm reminded of who I am inside
I am enough
I am of worth
There is a reason I'm here in this world
I am a daughter of god
I am accepted and wrapped in his love
I am enough
When troubles surround me, sometimes I start to forget
But I see it so clearly when I count the ways that I'm blessed
And it helps me remember that I am a part of his plan
And I know that he loves me just the way that I am
I am enough
I am of worth
There is a reason I'm here in this world
I am a daughter
A daughter of god
I am accepted and wrapped in his love
I am enough
I know I have a purpose and I play a part
There's a quiet assurance deep inside of my heart
I am enough
I am of worth
There is a reason I'm here in this world
I am a daughter
A daughter of god
I am accepted and wrapped in his love
I am enough
I am enough
Enough
I am enough
I am enough
There are so many voices telling me who I should be
I will be removing my family members from facebook; f they haven't already themselves by September 26th 2017 because memories of them only continue to trigger suffering and they dont seem to give a rats ass about that!
And exactly like my Cousin Amanda (Amanda's seem to "haunt" me) this life is
MORE THAN JUST A "MISSION'S TRIP"
for me also.
If they did they might actually pay attention to the fact my birthday on September 23rd is coming up and I have asked that everyone donate at least $20 to the
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those impacted by suicide.
I decided to donate my birthday to the cause on Facebook. I made a birthday event invite on facebook and invited my family when originally I was not going to. (I've stopped doing that the past few years because no one ever showed up, or remotely calls or texts me on my birthday or that of the kids. even my Aunt Annette stopped coming and I'm not exactly sure if my Oma's motives to coming to Elijah's birthday party last year where entirely genuine or not. But I figured maybe God will use this work some magic in our relationships). I invited them however because there is an
Out Of The Darkness walk on Saturday September 23rd 8:30-12PM
that supports this foundation and I thought it would be prevalent to them because their Daughter/ adoptive sister almost succumbed to it a year ago.
THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A WALK FOR SUICIDE. THIS IS A WALK OF ALL MY PEOPLE TO COME OUT OF THE DARKNESS. JOIN ME IN THE NEW WORLD... ALLOW YOUR OLD SELF TO DIE... BE REBORN. IT IS TIME TO LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!
THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A WALK FOR SUICIDE. THIS IS A WALK OF ALL MY PEOPLE TO COME OUT OF THE DARKNESS. JOIN ME IN THE NEW WORLD... ALLOW YOUR OLD SELF TO DIE... BE REBORN. IT IS TIME TO LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!
My friend Chris Depew posted on my friend Patrick Horn's memorial page on facebook a few weeks ago who passed away August 31 2016 from Suicide - I recently wrote a blog about him you can read by clicking his name - because I'm healing a lot of suffering I've experienced in witness to Suicide in my own life and other Mental Disabilities. It's been a long process for me, I contemplated such for much of my life- and even sometimes still that "darkness" throws me into the pit of hell uncontrollably that my beloved and Pat's spirit has to shake me out of! His friend Chris had brought to my notice about the Out Of Darkness Walk on my birthday and he has his own charity donation going you can check out by clicking his name - this instantly inspired me - God told me to step up in action and do this also and take it further by donating my birthday to this cause! Again if you want to donate you can go visit my facebook here. I am trying to raise at least $333 minimum.
I never ask for anything from these people but support and love as I have extended them. I've done what i can, when i can to chip in on gifts and donations over the years but Little have I received from them in this lifetime beyond a few Christmas and Birthday gifts. None ever came to my choir shows, or really supported anything I've attempted to achieve. The one and only even I really remember my Cousin Amanda coming to was when I got Baptized in Red Rocks Church August 19 2012 - but that was by "Coincidence" because i was "ironically" getting baptized at the exact same day as my sister...what a surprise THAT was!
As you read this blog I also want you to ask "What is wrong with the system here". Why is our FAMILY and our own hearts... not being cared for?! Where have we all become "out of sight; out of mind" toward one another and thus lost sight and started projecting what we needed on a global level?! We're changing lives of all the Orphans around the world- but are we doing so within our own homes? Lets bring what you do in Ukraine; home...
I've always entrusted my faith to God and taken care for myself and made it by with very little support from those who did see my struggle and darkness and it's those people that LOVED ME ENOUGH and UNCONDITIONALLY (like my father and grandmother pat) that kept me here. I have grown expectant and numb to this fact- i know now who loves and unconditionally supports me through my walk of life and who understand my heart! It's never been about money or material crap - though money certainly would have helped... i would not have helped me discover my core wound and it would not have helped me grow into who Eye am today or the confidence to step out and say what I am. Today i am creating a boundary of which they can change the course of our relationship if they even read this or they can let it fade into the blackness and i will forever stay away from their presence and not have to endure theirs around mine because I FEEL EVERYTHING GOSSIPED AND WORD AND ALL LEFT UNSAID IN THEIR MINDS!
They see my dad cry tears and scream out in pain (He's the only one that has seen the free spirit inside me, besides my grandmother Pat; and he has never attempted to suppress that spirit in his conscious states. hes had plenty of unconscious ones that I've come to forgiveness in regards, but he's tried to awaken our family just as Eye am attempting now with no respite)- because his tent of cubs all have Dis-Abilities that the family is in refusal to face and accept and love us as we come. they can't believe its true because "no one else has problems like that...whats wrong with you...what are you doing wrong... fix it!". My dad has Epilepsy. I have Multiple Personality Disorder and deal with Depression and Anxiety, my daughter is the same as is my son... all highly sensitive people. My husband has schizophrenia and a large array of "mental disabilities" which i won't go into detail over how he was forced to survive with them. all i'm saying is that We ARE on the "spectrum" of Autism... and our family has NO PATIENCE or believe because we have not been clinically diagnosed nor care to become so. We feel nothing is "wrong" with us and God created us just as we where meant to be and we don't need PILLS and all that western crap to dumb our innate gifts down just because other people CAN'T HANDLE US!
WE ARE SPECIAL TOO! WE ARE THE HEALERS OF THE ANCIENT TIMES! My point is- time and time again- when this family "magically forgets" to invite my family and I ... NOT THROUGH MY OWN FATHER... BUT ACTUALLY DIAL MY OWN NUMBER DIRECTLY, we wind up in a whirlwind of suffering... my dad and I. Bringing up memory after memory of being outcast in the past... and still here in the future. We're both sick of it.
All these years my family praised my sister Taura and every one of the cousins... and condemned me.
I'm DONE.
Either you stop treating me like a Ghost haunting you, or I'm GONE
This time I was not invited. That shows how existant I am to you.
My Oma LIED strait to my dad telling him she had called me... but i received no such call ... All she had to do WAS OWN UP TO HER MISTAKE - and I have said time and time again... i do not check my email that often- if they send anything there i am likely NOT to get it especially since they keep using THE WRONG email address; and I've "addressed" this in an email back to them in response when i see the message a year later
This has been triggering me for a month now- and that shows me that something needs to be voiced and then detached from. Today is the day and this is the hour that that is to happen. I have no choice in the matter. For I was extended the Holy Lapsis Lazuli ladder.
My dad even screams at my sister and these individuals over the pain and agony they caused all of us over the past 6 years in their unconsciousness- they all give us the same "holier than thou" attitude all the time that she learned from the family and my mom at a young age- she has been conditioned by their vibrations more deeply than i or my father.
My mom has awakened a little bit to how my sister is a mini reflection of her when she was younger; at how hurtful she could be. She is seeing how hurtful she was to others and this is a blessing from God that this process has begun within her... and she is working with Christ much more deeply on self love. I am glad she is opening up to trust me slowly also.
All these things aside- I've found liberation and my frustrations comes from all their limitations.
Sad thing is they see me cry and they witness the brokenness of my children who are now full on replaced with new and IMPROVED it seems- cousins. But do they care?
Their blatant treatment of me proves they do not.
We're ghosts yet again and they would rather tell me how to live my life than listen to what I've experienced and why i am who Eye am and start with a blank slate and get to know me from scratch. Eye am NOT who I once was. A Christed Master resides within this vessel-fully realized
My little family are Rebels as is my dad to a certain degree - we're little Jesus's running around thwarting the churches and anyone who ARE NOT IN ALIGNMENT with God's Divine plan! we rock your fucking boat and you usually just sit there and argue about it. But everyone assumes we're just "crazy" and "off our rockers"... or "possessed". I TELL EVERY DEMON I AM NOT HERE TO BE POSSESSED BY THEM ANYMORE THAN I HAVE BEEN BY THIS FAMILY!
All of this-This takes them out of their little "comfort zones" which they don't appreciate thus we do not fit into their little perfect worlds of ignorance. They don't invite me because they would rather keep in their little bubbles- well it's about time all of them bursted! We dont have "success" to flaunt (at least not enough yet to have them pay notice- not that i will flaunt it like them for them to notice it - which is happening now and they actually REFUSE to pay notice because its all MAGICAL related success, not 'Christian'). They have no interest in bonding with who Eye am and feeling the truth of my Soul. No they'd rather live the lie that "im lost" and on a strait root to hell.
They may not verbally say these things to my face but i feel their vibrations and i can read their minds and body language pretty well- i know how they feel before they even know they feel- oh my- "witch witch- 'burn'/ignore the witch!" Is what i hear!
After reading Amanda's old blog posted sept 19 2011 which during the time i was smack dab in the middle of a divorce- being aliened to tons of abuse by everyone around me- my sister and my ex husband and even family. The only divorced couple in this family was my parents. we're the only "broken" ones; so i felt compounded by the energy of
"You're as stupid as your mother" everyday in my mind and it literally made me want to jump off a bridge, a mountain, in front of a bus,anywhere... but here. Did my cousins ever have to deal with such condemnation? All I ever saw was praise given to them and money for strait A's... I was so ADD in school I needed a tutor. My father refused to let the western medicine clowns even since i was in Kindergarden to 4th grade from putting drugs inside me or label anything 'wrong' with me.
Regardless of my Dis-abilities and the pure blooded perfection my cousins Amanda, Alex and Bryan are; I have come to the conclusion that My cousins and i are no different.
1) We all have super hearts and the drive to be of service to Gods will!
2) We all have Christ and the majority of us and our children are empaths.
Our difference is only what we choose to place on ourselves as labels!
3) I'm not labeled Christian but she is- regardless Eye Am Christed and Loved by the same Lord God she loves. We are equal, im not evil and shes no 'better' than i. Yet they don't see it that way.
4) I'm fallen to them and somehow unworthy unless its to their standards of worthiness- shes righteous and blessed in their eyes because she's done everything they have told her to-flawlessly.
Even my sister has tried to rise to their level of desired perfection- has failed and I have been told has been feeling utterly "alone" now and my mother tells me she seeks relationship with me... if this is at all true and she's not just looking for pity from my mother- than she will change her attitude towards me and start steps that would rebuild such a dysfunctional and damaging relationship its been for us to this point. I've made multiple attempts in my life to explain what and who Eye am to her... why i do what i do... that i'm not just a stubborn bitch who 'wont listen to anybody'. I won't listen to people who believe they are above me. no way no how
I also wish my cousin Amanda would truly TAP INTO the pain and suffering her sister Natalie has endured. I know it is within her She's been handed everything without having to even step into any sort of "darkness". Even if you haven't experienced any of it you you can tap into it. It was necessary for me to experience it and to 'know' it on a deeper level - maybe your soul wasn't required to do that so in this moment I honor you and I say this before I go off on a tangent over our past. I cannot fathom though that you are completely free from darkness. I know there is something or someone somewhere who damaged you in some way, maybe your ex before you found your amazing husband Brandon. I'm just warning that people who don't observe their darkness and don't expect their darkness to creep up on them when they least expect it in the future- are naive. And this isn't a darkness you witness on a worlds missions trip. you get to witness what the darkness within all of us creates in this world. We must return to our hearts to truly be the change we wish to see in the world. I have full faith you can do this. I see your brilliant heart and show of external love to your family!
We have the Broadway "wicked" at play. I'm the green witch and shes the fluffy princess prancing around on stage singing about her own popularity and flaunting it- and masking it "with love" - a false perception and old paradigm of love perhaps... but not unconditional love. it feels like she is obviously trying to prove what a better job she does at being a mother and wife then myself had or is; not that she has a CLUE what I'm doing in my life with my own children.
Here is some brief history - I was first to get married at 19 and have the kinders, I only went to technical school for massage therapy and i will NOT CHANGE that decision. I was going to go to Nursing school...I was talking to the family about it LONG before my cousin ever decided to do so, as I was trying to decide what direction i wanted to take career wise and for college when I was in my Junior year but i truly didn't want to go to 4 years of college- but I was talking to my aunt and she was telling me how another family member was a nurse and she was going to give me her contact information to maybe do some side work with her and see if it was something I wanted to truly venture into. None of that ever happened and i know my cousin was listening to me in the background. whether she went to nursing school for genuine means or because she subconsciously stole the idea from me - I just sit here and have to wonder. Just like my sister... she always did what I 'wanted" to do or ended up choosing not to do either because they where doing it or it just wasn't for me at that time because I wanted to have a purpose of my own- something separate from them- something special and not like any of them.
"Happy Birthday to my lifelong Best Friend, my sister, my dear cousin!!! I thank you for the many adventures, the endless laughter, and all the heart to hearts we've had over the years. I am so blown away by who you continue to be and how God continues to shape you. I am beyond blessed to have you in my life and so grateful in the unique journeys we have shared as we we grow into women of God! I love and miss you lady! Happy Birthday Amanda Steinmetz - Love Taura!!"
I have everything I could have ever dreamed of now - but it often feels like Amanda and Taura are still acting like that "Good Witch" and like I have nothing of value or experience to offer - oe theirs is more valuable somehow.
- My sister has been her twin for as long as i can remember- Thing One and Thing Two. i see no big difference between them. -
Amanda is just slightly less of a 'snob' than my sister. I don't even know what word to use without offending too terrible
I felt like Amanda steals my nursing desires and my sister attempts to steal my music career life purpose and love of Disney and Broadway (fails miserably)
- technically I'm taking my power back so she isn't 'stealing' anything from me anymore so those things are still in store for my future... If i ever return to New York - It'll be to cast in a show on Broadway or opera. -
I have no interest in being a 3D nurse or anything that requires a snazzy degree and years of college because i LOVE the direction my career and life is going now as a Multidimensional Nurse/Healer. Mixed with music I will be in heaven.
But I'm currently sitting here thinking about all of this in the terms of a Broadway.
She's doing this as the "white witch" knowing deep inside i'm not this "evil" thing... but has stood by silently not to say a thing in defense or support.
I'm actually a Green Witch Of The Earth transmuting the darkness on multidimensional levels within our realm for the WELL BEING OF ALL OF GODS CREATIONS- not just a few!
Do they see my hard work!? Of course not because what i do is MAGIC! I perform miracles! I'm not here for fame I'm here to be the change i wish to see in this world! I will transform it with THE WORD.
So was the green witch in wicked. She cast "spells"! we all do!
brooms actually SWEEP away old muck that is no longer serving to us and clears it away.
I remember during a summer when I was younger, and I stayed with the stoesz for a week- i begged to because my sister boasted how awesome and amazing their new farm was! Well- I will say that they where ass holes in the way they treated me to do "chores" and the letter telling me "my attitude the entire week was crap and I wasn't even worth the $7 they sent me for my "allowance"... boy did that teach me a lesson! HOW NOT TO BE A FLAMING DICK!... But now that i speak about broomsticks... i remember one of my chores where to sweep up the barn loft or whatever they call it. I had no problem with this and actually enjoy sweeping as a chore (and loved getting up to go get the fresh eggs!) but they where telling me I'm lazy and to get off my butt and do it... for whatever reason i was being slow. I finally grabbed the dinky broom they had and started sweeping all the soot left over from the construction they had going on in rebuilding it. I had noticed a LOT of what i was sweeping was flying all over the place and I really couldn't get it swept up into a nice pile to dispose of
.
I did the best I could for as long as I could and left it to be what it was - they may or may not have liked the outcome - either way i put my heart and soul into sweeping that dang floor. Looking back now... maybe all along the lesson is that; it is not my responsibility to clean up their own mess from what they where rebuilding in their lives at the time. I never returned to help in such a manor because of the amount of disrespect they showed me because they assumed i was always being disrespectful intentionally. I was not... I was learning something and a new lifestyle of living I had never been accustomed to. They had no patience or unconditional love to teach me properly and with kindness and awareness.
It will never be my responsibility to take accountability for what they hide away in their attics. And i should not have to continually take belligerent direction from someone more ignorant than Eye am and refuse to See, even though I am so much younger than thee. we LIVE in a magical world... fully encumbered with the Holy Spirit... and everyone FEARS IT and turns the Green witch's into cannon fodder! Well before you start firing... I'm going to ride away on my broomstick and you won't ever see me again! By the time your beautiful country home is blown away by the tornado's around this family... I'll be riding the waves like the witch in the picture below. I am not 'wicked witch of the West'. So Ain't no house, especially yours is going to fall on me and no amount of water will make me 'dissolve' into bubbling mush. Cast me away all you wish - I'll be here with my broomstick when you're ready to really obtain Trinity.
It's 'ironic' my dad bought 4 tickets for the live broadway when we where in New York City and myself and my cousin Amanda and sister Taura got to go see it with my dad!
I never ask for anything from these people but support and love as I have extended them. I've done what i can, when i can to chip in on gifts and donations over the years but Little have I received from them in this lifetime beyond a few Christmas and Birthday gifts. None ever came to my choir shows, or really supported anything I've attempted to achieve. The one and only even I really remember my Cousin Amanda coming to was when I got Baptized in Red Rocks Church August 19 2012 - but that was by "Coincidence" because i was "ironically" getting baptized at the exact same day as my sister...what a surprise THAT was!
As you read this blog I also want you to ask "What is wrong with the system here". Why is our FAMILY and our own hearts... not being cared for?! Where have we all become "out of sight; out of mind" toward one another and thus lost sight and started projecting what we needed on a global level?! We're changing lives of all the Orphans around the world- but are we doing so within our own homes? Lets bring what you do in Ukraine; home...
I've always entrusted my faith to God and taken care for myself and made it by with very little support from those who did see my struggle and darkness and it's those people that LOVED ME ENOUGH and UNCONDITIONALLY (like my father and grandmother pat) that kept me here. I have grown expectant and numb to this fact- i know now who loves and unconditionally supports me through my walk of life and who understand my heart! It's never been about money or material crap - though money certainly would have helped... i would not have helped me discover my core wound and it would not have helped me grow into who Eye am today or the confidence to step out and say what I am. Today i am creating a boundary of which they can change the course of our relationship if they even read this or they can let it fade into the blackness and i will forever stay away from their presence and not have to endure theirs around mine because I FEEL EVERYTHING GOSSIPED AND WORD AND ALL LEFT UNSAID IN THEIR MINDS!
WE ARE SPECIAL TOO! WE ARE THE HEALERS OF THE ANCIENT TIMES! My point is- time and time again- when this family "magically forgets" to invite my family and I ... NOT THROUGH MY OWN FATHER... BUT ACTUALLY DIAL MY OWN NUMBER DIRECTLY, we wind up in a whirlwind of suffering... my dad and I. Bringing up memory after memory of being outcast in the past... and still here in the future. We're both sick of it.
All these years my family praised my sister Taura and every one of the cousins... and condemned me.
I'm DONE.
Either you stop treating me like a Ghost haunting you, or I'm GONE
This time I was not invited. That shows how existant I am to you.
My Oma LIED strait to my dad telling him she had called me... but i received no such call ... All she had to do WAS OWN UP TO HER MISTAKE - and I have said time and time again... i do not check my email that often- if they send anything there i am likely NOT to get it especially since they keep using THE WRONG email address; and I've "addressed" this in an email back to them in response when i see the message a year later
This has been triggering me for a month now- and that shows me that something needs to be voiced and then detached from. Today is the day and this is the hour that that is to happen. I have no choice in the matter. For I was extended the Holy Lapsis Lazuli ladder.
My dad even screams at my sister and these individuals over the pain and agony they caused all of us over the past 6 years in their unconsciousness- they all give us the same "holier than thou" attitude all the time that she learned from the family and my mom at a young age- she has been conditioned by their vibrations more deeply than i or my father.
My mom has awakened a little bit to how my sister is a mini reflection of her when she was younger; at how hurtful she could be. She is seeing how hurtful she was to others and this is a blessing from God that this process has begun within her... and she is working with Christ much more deeply on self love. I am glad she is opening up to trust me slowly also.
All these things aside- I've found liberation and my frustrations comes from all their limitations.
Their blatant treatment of me proves they do not.
We're ghosts yet again and they would rather tell me how to live my life than listen to what I've experienced and why i am who Eye am and start with a blank slate and get to know me from scratch. Eye am NOT who I once was. A Christed Master resides within this vessel-fully realized
.
My little family are Rebels as is my dad to a certain degree - we're little Jesus's running around thwarting the churches and anyone who ARE NOT IN ALIGNMENT with God's Divine plan! we rock your fucking boat and you usually just sit there and argue about it. But everyone assumes we're just "crazy" and "off our rockers"... or "possessed". I TELL EVERY DEMON I AM NOT HERE TO BE POSSESSED BY THEM ANYMORE THAN I HAVE BEEN BY THIS FAMILY! 
All of this-This takes them out of their little "comfort zones" which they don't appreciate thus we do not fit into their little perfect worlds of ignorance. They don't invite me because they would rather keep in their little bubbles- well it's about time all of them bursted! We dont have "success" to flaunt (at least not enough yet to have them pay notice- not that i will flaunt it like them for them to notice it - which is happening now and they actually REFUSE to pay notice because its all MAGICAL related success, not 'Christian'). They have no interest in bonding with who Eye am and feeling the truth of my Soul. No they'd rather live the lie that "im lost" and on a strait root to hell.
They may not verbally say these things to my face but i feel their vibrations and i can read their minds and body language pretty well- i know how they feel before they even know they feel- oh my- "witch witch- 'burn'/ignore the witch!" Is what i hear!
After reading Amanda's old blog posted sept 19 2011 which during the time i was smack dab in the middle of a divorce- being aliened to tons of abuse by everyone around me- my sister and my ex husband and even family. The only divorced couple in this family was my parents. we're the only "broken" ones; so i felt compounded by the energy of "You're as stupid as your mother" everyday in my mind and it literally made me want to jump off a bridge, a mountain, in front of a bus,anywhere... but here. Did my cousins ever have to deal with such condemnation? All I ever saw was praise given to them and money for strait A's... I was so ADD in school I needed a tutor. My father refused to let the western medicine clowns even since i was in Kindergarden to 4th grade from putting drugs inside me or label anything 'wrong' with me.
Regardless of my Dis-abilities and the pure blooded perfection my cousins Amanda, Alex and Bryan are; I have come to the conclusion that My cousins and i are no different.
1) We all have super hearts and the drive to be of service to Gods will!
2) We all have Christ and the majority of us and our children are empaths.
Our difference is only what we choose to place on ourselves as labels!
3) I'm not labeled Christian but she is- regardless Eye Am Christed and Loved by the same Lord God she loves. We are equal, im not evil and shes no 'better' than i. Yet they don't see it that way.
4) I'm fallen to them and somehow unworthy unless its to their standards of worthiness- shes righteous and blessed in their eyes because she's done everything they have told her to-flawlessly.
Even my sister has tried to rise to their level of desired perfection- has failed and I have been told has been feeling utterly "alone" now and my mother tells me she seeks relationship with me... if this is at all true and she's not just looking for pity from my mother- than she will change her attitude towards me and start steps that would rebuild such a dysfunctional and damaging relationship its been for us to this point. I've made multiple attempts in my life to explain what and who Eye am to her... why i do what i do... that i'm not just a stubborn bitch who 'wont listen to anybody'. I won't listen to people who believe they are above me. no way no how
I also wish my cousin Amanda would truly TAP INTO the pain and suffering her sister Natalie has endured. I know it is within her She's been handed everything without having to even step into any sort of "darkness". Even if you haven't experienced any of it you you can tap into it. It was necessary for me to experience it and to 'know' it on a deeper level - maybe your soul wasn't required to do that so in this moment I honor you and I say this before I go off on a tangent over our past. I cannot fathom though that you are completely free from darkness. I know there is something or someone somewhere who damaged you in some way, maybe your ex before you found your amazing husband Brandon. I'm just warning that people who don't observe their darkness and don't expect their darkness to creep up on them when they least expect it in the future- are naive. And this isn't a darkness you witness on a worlds missions trip. you get to witness what the darkness within all of us creates in this world. We must return to our hearts to truly be the change we wish to see in the world. I have full faith you can do this. I see your brilliant heart and show of external love to your family!
And while you have been conditioned to think that everything must contain polar opposites, in the higher dimensions, this is not so.
People can love unconditionally and have no dark experiences with the love that they share and express.
So I call your name and I pray you might,
Come and watch over me like the pale moonlight,
Until the sun comes back around.
Take me down, take me down by the water, water,
Pull me in until I see the light,
Let me drown, let me drown, in you honey, honey,
In your love I wanna be baptized.
Take me down, take me down by the water, water,
I wanna be baptized.
And the days and nights are cold,
Without you to hold me,
So I close my eyes hoping you'll appear,
Cause it feels like grace every time you're near, yeah,
Don't leave, until the sun comes back around.
-Daughtry
Here is some brief history - I was first to get married at 19 and have the kinders, I only went to technical school for massage therapy and i will NOT CHANGE that decision. I was going to go to Nursing school...I was talking to the family about it LONG before my cousin ever decided to do so, as I was trying to decide what direction i wanted to take career wise and for college when I was in my Junior year but i truly didn't want to go to 4 years of college- but I was talking to my aunt and she was telling me how another family member was a nurse and she was going to give me her contact information to maybe do some side work with her and see if it was something I wanted to truly venture into. None of that ever happened and i know my cousin was listening to me in the background. whether she went to nursing school for genuine means or because she subconsciously stole the idea from me - I just sit here and have to wonder. Just like my sister... she always did what I 'wanted" to do or ended up choosing not to do either because they where doing it or it just wasn't for me at that time because I wanted to have a purpose of my own- something separate from them- something special and not like any of them.
"Happy Birthday to my lifelong Best Friend, my sister, my dear cousin!!! I thank you for the many adventures, the endless laughter, and all the heart to hearts we've had over the years. I am so blown away by who you continue to be and how God continues to shape you. I am beyond blessed to have you in my life and so grateful in the unique journeys we have shared as we we grow into women of God! I love and miss you lady! Happy Birthday Amanda Steinmetz - Love Taura!!"
- My sister has been her twin for as long as i can remember- Thing One and Thing Two. i see no big difference between them. -
Amanda is just slightly less of a 'snob' than my sister. I don't even know what word to use without offending too terrible
I felt like Amanda steals my nursing desires and my sister attempts to steal my music career life purpose and love of Disney and Broadway (fails miserably)
- technically I'm taking my power back so she isn't 'stealing' anything from me anymore so those things are still in store for my future... If i ever return to New York - It'll be to cast in a show on Broadway or opera. -
I have no interest in being a 3D nurse or anything that requires a snazzy degree and years of college because i LOVE the direction my career and life is going now as a Multidimensional Nurse/Healer. Mixed with music I will be in heaven.
But I'm currently sitting here thinking about all of this in the terms of a Broadway.
She's doing this as the "white witch" knowing deep inside i'm not this "evil" thing... but has stood by silently not to say a thing in defense or support.
I'm actually a Green Witch Of The Earth transmuting the darkness on multidimensional levels within our realm for the WELL BEING OF ALL OF GODS CREATIONS- not just a few!
Do they see my hard work!? Of course not because what i do is MAGIC! I perform miracles! I'm not here for fame I'm here to be the change i wish to see in this world! I will transform it with THE WORD.
So was the green witch in wicked. She cast "spells"! we all do!
brooms actually SWEEP away old muck that is no longer serving to us and clears it away.
I remember during a summer when I was younger, and I stayed with the stoesz for a week- i begged to because my sister boasted how awesome and amazing their new farm was! Well- I will say that they where ass holes in the way they treated me to do "chores" and the letter telling me "my attitude the entire week was crap and I wasn't even worth the $7 they sent me for my "allowance"... boy did that teach me a lesson! HOW NOT TO BE A FLAMING DICK!... But now that i speak about broomsticks... i remember one of my chores where to sweep up the barn loft or whatever they call it. I had no problem with this and actually enjoy sweeping as a chore (and loved getting up to go get the fresh eggs!) but they where telling me I'm lazy and to get off my butt and do it... for whatever reason i was being slow. I finally grabbed the dinky broom they had and started sweeping all the soot left over from the construction they had going on in rebuilding it. I had noticed a LOT of what i was sweeping was flying all over the place and I really couldn't get it swept up into a nice pile to dispose of
.
I did the best I could for as long as I could and left it to be what it was - they may or may not have liked the outcome - either way i put my heart and soul into sweeping that dang floor. Looking back now... maybe all along the lesson is that; it is not my responsibility to clean up their own mess from what they where rebuilding in their lives at the time. I never returned to help in such a manor because of the amount of disrespect they showed me because they assumed i was always being disrespectful intentionally. I was not... I was learning something and a new lifestyle of living I had never been accustomed to. They had no patience or unconditional love to teach me properly and with kindness and awareness.
It will never be my responsibility to take accountability for what they hide away in their attics. And i should not have to continually take belligerent direction from someone more ignorant than Eye am and refuse to See, even though I am so much younger than thee. we LIVE in a magical world... fully encumbered with the Holy Spirit... and everyone FEARS IT and turns the Green witch's into cannon fodder! Well before you start firing... I'm going to ride away on my broomstick and you won't ever see me again! By the time your beautiful country home is blown away by the tornado's around this family... I'll be riding the waves like the witch in the picture below. I am not 'wicked witch of the West'. So Ain't no house, especially yours is going to fall on me and no amount of water will make me 'dissolve' into bubbling mush. Cast me away all you wish - I'll be here with my broomstick when you're ready to really obtain Trinity.
It's 'ironic' my dad bought 4 tickets for the live broadway when we where in New York City and myself and my cousin Amanda and sister Taura got to go see it with my dad!
In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and The Word was God.
John 1:1
I'm here to spread joy and hope and love to this planet. My family may not stick around long to witness it and we may always choose completely different belief systems- but I will fly as high as the Phoenix and the word of God will drip from my beak and the song and milky white essence of Christ will permeate the entire Earth, they will witness the burning tree of life within my spine- and every heart in existence will be filled with Grace and Wonder.
Oh how i feel like an orphan in this family! ironic they adopted so many and boast about their abandonment and pain and suffering- but what of those already in my family!? Thank you for forcing me to save myself while you all saved everyone else- heck i doubt you even know who "you" truly are in your attempts- but they still continually cast one aside- not seeing shes been one her entire life in this family! I have no blood relatives- they truly are dead to me even the one time a year i receive a hug and "present" from them. They hear me sing and say its beautiful- but do they not see the beauty of my soul!?
I don't feel adopted by them- no acceptance- just fake masks in my presence -
this blood family was never my own- this is the truth I've come to know deep within my bones. they vibrate as i write all of this and my beloved gets to stand in witness of the transformation before me for speaking up and voicing what i've held inside for far too long
Oh how i feel like an orphan in this family! ironic they adopted so many and boast about their abandonment and pain and suffering- but what of those already in my family!? Thank you for forcing me to save myself while you all saved everyone else- heck i doubt you even know who "you" truly are in your attempts- but they still continually cast one aside- not seeing shes been one her entire life in this family! I have no blood relatives- they truly are dead to me even the one time a year i receive a hug and "present" from them. They hear me sing and say its beautiful- but do they not see the beauty of my soul!?
I don't feel adopted by them- no acceptance- just fake masks in my presence -
this blood family was never my own- this is the truth I've come to know deep within my bones. they vibrate as i write all of this and my beloved gets to stand in witness of the transformation before me for speaking up and voicing what i've held inside for far too long
they extend their love to every nation- but not the brothers and sisters in their own blood relations. They cherry pick who to extend care and support there. How is that Christ like and fair!?
They are supported by one another through and through- Where has the support ever been extended to someone other than you and orphans in Ukraine!?
Never have they come to our birthdays or made time for lunch one on one with us too. One lunch date after my Divorce with Aunt Kriss telling me "to remain pure" was not enough effort. What does it mean... truly... "to remain pure". It has nothing to do with Sex.
Id like to spend more than one time a year with you o maybe talk about these concerning things!? But its obvious the want is not equal. I feel in their heads "everyone under the sun but you- you demonic demon you!".
Why do you fear me?! WHAT DO YOU SEE 'WRONG' WITH ME!? Am I allowed to expresses where i see misalignment in you equally?!
I have been offered no emotional support from this family what so ever. They are there for everyone else... it seems they are all 'getting along fine'... or they are hiding still and just ignoring the truth about how fucked up we all really are and sidetrack our self out of guilt and shame to remain in one another's lives.
They have mainstream expensive and lavish weddings- you are fortunate enough that you can afford everyone on Earth to attend- and majority of you roll your eyes at my dream private wedding that costed me every dime I personally own! I have respected you the best I can- you stopped caring about me because I cuss- one day you will learn that its the most brilliant of them all that cuss- that's actually a norm for people with high intelligence.
I offer you all free massages and you ignore my attempt to connect. I have had help from no one, absolutely no support
- oh wait no it all happened for the fact MY TRUE FAMILY AND HIGH PRIESTESS showed up in my life- In less than a few months she's fill 'rolls' and become a nurturing to use that our soul has craved to have again for eons! I created it with God and my tribe on my own! I feel accomplished even if you choose to stick your nose up at it and not share the memory with me. Guess you where not interested since I was extended NO invite to the massive family gathering that happened the sunday after we where wedded!? Can I tell you about my Happily Ever After?!
They are supported by one another through and through- Where has the support ever been extended to someone other than you and orphans in Ukraine!?
Never have they come to our birthdays or made time for lunch one on one with us too. One lunch date after my Divorce with Aunt Kriss telling me "to remain pure" was not enough effort. What does it mean... truly... "to remain pure". It has nothing to do with Sex.
Id like to spend more than one time a year with you o maybe talk about these concerning things!? But its obvious the want is not equal. I feel in their heads "everyone under the sun but you- you demonic demon you!".
Why do you fear me?! WHAT DO YOU SEE 'WRONG' WITH ME!? Am I allowed to expresses where i see misalignment in you equally?!
I have been offered no emotional support from this family what so ever. They are there for everyone else... it seems they are all 'getting along fine'... or they are hiding still and just ignoring the truth about how fucked up we all really are and sidetrack our self out of guilt and shame to remain in one another's lives.
I offer you all free massages and you ignore my attempt to connect. I have had help from no one, absolutely no support
- oh wait no it all happened for the fact MY TRUE FAMILY AND HIGH PRIESTESS showed up in my life- In less than a few months she's fill 'rolls' and become a nurturing to use that our soul has craved to have again for eons! I created it with God and my tribe on my own! I feel accomplished even if you choose to stick your nose up at it and not share the memory with me. Guess you where not interested since I was extended NO invite to the massive family gathering that happened the sunday after we where wedded!? Can I tell you about my Happily Ever After?!
Does anyone want to welcome my beloved to this family as i will represent today that everyone else's beloveds where welcomed and supported with open arms!?
This man is my real deal. not just a boyfriend. He aint going anywhere and anywhere He goes I will follow. He is my true companion, the other half of my soul and I would break the chains i have bound with this family long before I choose ever to give him up over family pride and arrogance.
Maybe you won't accept him because you see him as something dark and "lesser" too!
I'M SICK OF THE JUDGMENTS YOU ENSUE.
Aren't Christians taught to love UNCONDITIONALLY!?
That is NOT WHAT THEY DO!
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians ; For they are so unlike your Christ" - Ghandi
They accept all of their children's chosen spouses- welcome them with open arms and honor their existence- celebrate and support everything. they go out of state to celebrate the kinders birthdays. But can they have lunch with me on mine and my daughters and husbands at Watercourse Foods in Denver? Can they call me?
Of course not (will be the likely case especially after this)- they will all be too busy to support... wait-who was that... "kymberly"?!
You know I would have loved to celebrate everyone's birthdays that August too, Especially Natalies 18th which she is lucky to be here to have the a-due. I didn't come to her Graduation simply because I don't feel comfortable anymore around any of you. I blessed her on that day though :) I really wish you all could have celebrated my wedding with me... and that I could afford some sort of neutral celebration down here to have you all partake in celebration of our Union as I got to celebrate with all of you and was sorting out my abandonment trauma and relationship related- emotional karma with other men while I purified myself for the current union that manifested from my deep healing; and I appreciate your patience as I went through that storm of my life and I apologize for any residual shrapnel energy if you got bombarded by it.
It feels you would not have been there even if you where invited. we had a private spiritual retreat for a reason.I also can't afford any sort of "reception" to invite a crowd to. I didn't feel you would know how to honor anything sacred!
You would rather keep me "out of sight, out of mind" and when I'm absent ask my father questions about me that they really don't ever like the answer to. They would rather flaunt their own material abundance and success that will eventually all come crashing down when full disclosure comes. What a wild ride they will be on while I'm coasting in the sky above them- an angel guardian them regardless of the crucification they made me endure! I will receive my galactic inheritance
The rapture will prove who are meant to be left behind to learn because they have yet to grasp the truth- and it will prove who all along have been ready to ascend and their purpose was to assist and help awaken the masses into unconditional love!
A lot of music from "SIA" has been channeling through... could represent "see ya"
I wish in this moment to quote something from Amanda's World missionary blog.
I WANT TO BE IN CONSTANT AWE, DANCING, SINGING BECAUSE I AM SURROUNDED BY HIS GLORY.
I WANT TO BE IN CONSTANT AWE, DANCING, SINGING BECAUSE I AM SURROUNDED BY HIS GLORY.
I want this everyday – all day. Don’t you? Don’t you want insanely filling joy to be so overwhelming inside of you that you swear your blood cells have been replaced with sunshine?! I sure do! And I strongly believe that this is not a lot to ask. God is SO present and SO wants to be filling us with this joy – daily. He is constantly singing a song over our heads, and all I want to do is channel that joy out to all of those that I come in contact with.
“I can only imagine” tonight – turned into “I can start to see this” – then to “I am loving this” – and then to “I want this… now.
Always.
Forever. "
Check out a cool video on Facebook that explains so much and talks about whether Jim Carrey has lost his mind. I don't believe he has - Hes awake. Just like Eye Am. Listen to THIS video it'll blow your mind! (my twin and I where talking about him the other day when I was writing "Jesus be like "WHAT THE BLEEP IS THIS!? DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!"
THAT I AM YOU
I AM THAT I AM
ON THE BEGINNING KNOW THAT I AM
ALL ALONE AND ONE, THAT I AM BORRED
EYE FALL IN LOVE NOW ON THE BEGINING,
THAT I AM LOVE NOW AND I AM LOVED,
BELOVED THAT I AM
THAT I AM EVERYONE THAT I AM
THAT I AM ONE AND I AM MANY
IN ONE THAT I AM IN LOVE.
THAT I AM EVERYONE THAT I AM
THAT I AM MY FATHER, MY SON THAT I AM.
THAT I AM MY MOTHER, MY DAUGHTER I THAT AM.
THAT I AM THE CREATOR, CREATED I AM
THAT I AM THE CREATION
I AM THE CUP,
I AM THE NECTAR OF LOVE THAT FILLS THE CUP THAT I AM.
I AM THE ONE THAT DRINKS, THAT I AM YOU.
I AM THE HAND THAT POURS,
I AM THE INTOXICATION OF LOVE,
INTOXICATED ONE THAT I AM TOO.
I AM THE FLOWER,
I AM THE BEE THAT FEASTS ON HONEY
I AM THE FLOWER HONEY,
I AM THE FLOWER GARDEN TOO.
I AM THE DARK, I AM THE LIGHT.
I AM EVERYTHING THAT I AM.
I AM THE WORD THAT WAS ON THE BEGINNING.
WORD WAS GOD, I AM GOD.
I AM THE SILENCE, I AM MUSIC.
I AM THE FLUTE, I AM THE WIND THAT BLOWS.
HOLLOWED IN LOVE NOW THAT I AM, I AM.
I AM THE STILLNESS AND DANCE OF LOVERS I AM.
I AM THAT ONE THAT PLAYS,
THAT ONE THAT LISTENS, I AM TOO.
I AM THE BEGINNING.
I AM THE END THAT I AM.
I AM IMPERSONAL, EYE JUST AM,
AND I AM THE ORIGINAL PERSON,
EVERY CREATED PERSON, THAT I AM TOO.
I AM ONE THAT I AM MANY.
MANY ARE ONE IN ONE LOVE NOW THAT I AM.
I AM LOVE, THAT I AM LOVED, BELOVED.
I AM THE ONE THAT SEPARATED ALL.
I AM THE ONE THAT UNITES ALL IN LOVE NOW.
I AM THE SEPARATION,
THAT I AM UNION OF LOVERS TOO.
I AM THAT I AM, ME AND YOU.
DO KNOW THAT I AM YOU.
- Purna Ananda
It also pisses me off that the family would "sweep under the rug" and "hide" the fact one of these cousins tried to commit suicide just less than two years ago because of the absence of the parents being too busy with school and ministry- to see that she needed someone! That she was hurting. that something was not aligned. Our first adopted family member- now 18 and the only one who can even remotely feel me and my twin and engages with us when we where around the family- the only one who can understand this side of darkness we've experienced- AND I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO HER ABOUT IT!? WHAT A CROCK OF ROTTEN COOKIES! Now i know how you would have treated me had I done it many years ago myself... I would have been SWEPT UNDER THE RUG.
HOW DARE YOU
EVERYONE IN THAT FAMILY HIDES AND RUNS AWAY FROM THEIR DARKNESS AND I'M SICK OF IT! That's why everyone feel's like monster's right now to us and to them we're the ultimate Frankenstein! Who's conditioning was to be held accountable for that created this to be a reality?! you create the monster...then abandon them. That's all this family does... and they will deny it until death comes to greet them. NO ACCOUNTABILITY!
Suicide is not something to SHAME or HIDE!
As the metaphorical Elijah, John called people to repentance and a life of obedience, preparing the people of his generation for the coming of Jesus Christ, the One who had come “to seek and to save what was lost”
-(Luke 19:10)
and to establish the ministry of reconciliation
-(2 Corinthians 5:18)
Grace and Elijah have prophetic names- they have destinies they will choose to proclaim when the time is right. Grace is the reprieve that comes before the prophecy of Elijah (she was born first for a reason and her "father" named her. I as mother named Elijah and knew he would be Elijah- I have this written in my blog!) They have to choose their divine birthrights and I have faith as they mature that they will to create a legacy! Until then i will help teach how to raise up and parent these star children in a loving way NONE of us were extended or conditioned.
Please notice little Natalie sitting off to the left - all alone and not even in the 'Family picture' where the statue of liberty is in the background.
I will not raise my children in the way my grandparents raised my parents and i will not raise them the way those now adults raise their kids now in the present. They make them live in fear, doubt blame and shame- and i will have none of that in my home! You do NOT own them!
The way my uncle talked to his first adoptive daughter (who about a year ago tried to commit suicide) on the New York train in 2009 right after my sister, my cousin Amanda my dad and myself all saw Wicked LIVE on Broadway, we where all there for our other cousins 80K wedding!
She was crying for whatever reason - she was hurting over something- and all he said to her was "you knock that off and sit down- you are not allowed to cry and 'feel sorry' for yourself right now".
It must have been just as a bullet through the heart for her as the day my Oma dragged me up the stairs by my ears and my Opa screamed at me "you're as stupid as your mother" for taking a walk my father specifically told me I was allowed to do at ANY TIME i felt the need to. I just didnt tell anyone I was "leaving" because I knew they wouldn't allow me and would make me clean the bed and breakfast instead.
-(Luke 19:10)
and to establish the ministry of reconciliation
-(2 Corinthians 5:18)
Grace and Elijah have prophetic names- they have destinies they will choose to proclaim when the time is right. Grace is the reprieve that comes before the prophecy of Elijah (she was born first for a reason and her "father" named her. I as mother named Elijah and knew he would be Elijah- I have this written in my blog!) They have to choose their divine birthrights and I have faith as they mature that they will to create a legacy! Until then i will help teach how to raise up and parent these star children in a loving way NONE of us were extended or conditioned.
The trauma's both our groups of children have endured... is equal. Mine have not had an easy up bringing as of yet. They are also learning many things as I learn how to be a conscious and aware Mother day by day. I would not trade either of them for anything. They are my world. My everything! I strive everyday just to give them these smiles on their faces and try to get them to love them like they did in these pictures. Lately that is a bit difficult- as they seem to have a rivalry between them the way I did with my own sibling/sister and the way my ex husband had with his. We will work through it, Grace will learn how to really be Grace and as long as Grace can be a good example- Elijah will follow suit and hopefully find something individual of his own and not copycat his sister 24/7. She is my mini-me - She is having an issue with having nothing of her own and unique that he steals her so called "thunder". It is literally a virgo/libra vs Pisces/Aries which is the exact same polar opposites that I (Libra/Virgo) had with my sister Taura (Pisces) and my ex-husband Benjamin (Aries).
My daughter was born exactly 3 days from my own birthday. She came on her exact estimated due date- ripe and ready to come into this world! Nothing was stopping her! Elijah had it a bit rougher... poor guys was a week early, he should have incubated another week and been born 3 days before Ben's birthday on March 23rd but he came on a date Ben had predicted at the beginning of the pregnancy, and that i saw a vision and confirmation from... which was the 18th. My entire pregnancy I wanted to be in water and took about 3 baths a day... I was incubating a twin fish. Boy is he that. It's taught me to have a different love and perception of my own sister. Eye am not as guarded as she may think. I know more than it seems about relationships, peoples characteristics and such things.
I will not raise my children in the way my grandparents raised my parents and i will not raise them the way those now adults raise their kids now in the present. They make them live in fear, doubt blame and shame- and i will have none of that in my home! You do NOT own them!
The way my uncle talked to his first adoptive daughter (who about a year ago tried to commit suicide) on the New York train in 2009 right after my sister, my cousin Amanda my dad and myself all saw Wicked LIVE on Broadway, we where all there for our other cousins 80K wedding!
It must have been just as a bullet through the heart for her as the day my Oma dragged me up the stairs by my ears and my Opa screamed at me "you're as stupid as your mother" for taking a walk my father specifically told me I was allowed to do at ANY TIME i felt the need to. I just didnt tell anyone I was "leaving" because I knew they wouldn't allow me and would make me clean the bed and breakfast instead.
Here is a VERY informative article i happened to come across around 1:56PM on 9/18 after this blog was written.
I was a parent for 9 months around that time my Uncle said such a harsh thing to my youngest cousin- I was just 20 years old having just came into being a mother September 20th 2007... but i had to hold my tongue in that moment to say what i can now confidently say today! In their eyes it would have been disrespectful for someone as young as me who raised cousins my age- to say what needs to be stated today. I will no longer keep my mouth shut especially since i almost lost my favorite cousin of them all TO SUICIDE!
I don't give a donkeys ass WHY she was crying- but that cold hearted type of response is NOT how ill treat my kids!
AS THE DIVINE MOTHER - I would have you APOLOGIZE to your own daughter for TREATING SUCH A DIVINE BEING THAT WAY AND WITH SUCH IGNORANCE! SHE IS JUST AS DIVINE AS YOU, YOU ARE EQUAL IN ROYALTY- GOD WOULD NOT EXTEND THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOR AND UNAWARENESS TOWARDS YOU- SO HOW DARE YOU DO SO TO HER! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME AND ANYONE ELSE YOUR DAMAGED INNER CHILD HAS LASHED OUT TO! WE ARE ALL HUMAN AND WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES EVERYDAY! IT'S HOW WE RESPOND THAT MATTERS!
I don't give a donkeys ass WHY she was crying- but that cold hearted type of response is NOT how ill treat my kids!
AS THE DIVINE MOTHER - I would have you APOLOGIZE to your own daughter for TREATING SUCH A DIVINE BEING THAT WAY AND WITH SUCH IGNORANCE! SHE IS JUST AS DIVINE AS YOU, YOU ARE EQUAL IN ROYALTY- GOD WOULD NOT EXTEND THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOR AND UNAWARENESS TOWARDS YOU- SO HOW DARE YOU DO SO TO HER! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME AND ANYONE ELSE YOUR DAMAGED INNER CHILD HAS LASHED OUT TO! WE ARE ALL HUMAN AND WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES EVERYDAY! IT'S HOW WE RESPOND THAT MATTERS!
Under rich, relentless skies
I've been setting highs
I felt you walk right through me
You're the thing that I invoke
My all persistent goal
Sent to make me queazy
And oh, it's hard now
With time, it works out
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
I'm not ready to give up
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
I'm not ready to give up
All the tigers have been out
I don't care, I hear them howl
I let them tear right through me
Can you help me not to care?
Every breath becomes a prayer
Take this pain from me
And oh, you're so far now
So far from my arms now
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
I'm not ready to give up
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
I'm not ready to give up
To be human
To be human
To be human
Just 'cause I predicted this
Doesn't make it any easier to live with
And what's the point of knowin' it
If you can't change it? You can't change, can't change it
Just 'cause I predicted this
Doesn't make it any easier to live with
And what's the point of knowin' it
If you can't change it? You can't change, can't change it
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
I'm not ready to give up
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
There's no reason to give up
Don't give up
Don't give up
I was taught a GREAT lesson just a week ago through my beloved friend and colleague Solei Larkson. Because of her - I have a brilliant future ahead of me because she brought Yuru into my life with my best friend Cathy. It works with removing the "money mind" and really opening up your heart... healing on a deep deep level. She didn't save me - but both these women supported me with every step I've taken since 2015 and been mothers and nurturers i have NEVER had in my life-not even with my own mom! I cannot repeat how she taught us this but it left a very deep and profound awareness! There is NEVER AN EXCUSE TO TREAT SOMEONE THAT WAY".I don't care if you are a parent or not- you don't belittle them like that! We JUST DON'T TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT! Bullying is what that's called!
The problem with this family is that NO ONE HONORS OR HAS ALLOWANCE FOR EMOTIONS- TO FEEL- anything that isnt what they think we should "allow" under our false belief systems- they shut it down. They have SHUT ME DOWN ALL THESE YEARS simply because i use profanity! I've been force to because everyone refuses to listen to me and it snaps you into attention. DAMN THEM! it Did not help me quit cussing when I told them the truth that it was MY SISTER who taught me and she would go around at home saying "damn" all the time- and I told them I started to do it because she was... and the flat out told me "you're a liar- we have never witnessed your sister do this before and don't believe she ever would do something like that!"... that moment on... I have a rivalry in my heart begin with the Stoesz tribe. That made me want to use it MORE! You wonder why their adoptive daughter almost killed herself years later and why their newly adopted son became a pyro-addict and started burning and destroying things- and all they could fathom to do "was send him away" to a school that would condition and brainwarp them to be what they would accept! Its like sending a gay person to make him strait again. YOU CANT DO THAT! And you dont make someone that far in darkness TO HIDE IT- to BE QUIET about it! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Really cool that the 3rd video represents my birth date 1987!
HEAR THE BOOMING VOICE OF THE MOTHER GODDESS WITH WHAT I TELL YOU TODAY!
My mom introduced me to God- in the only level she knew how to at the time- and i thank her for that- because without her influence i may have lived an entirely different reality than Eye am now. God was my ONLY friend... the only thing keeping me alive- because i was conditioned to lived in fear of death and hell if i had taken my own life. Well ive held onto God- and it wasn't just at that age but well into 7th grade and even as a young adult ive battled with self confidence and belittlement from family and everyone around me and self hatred and christian dogma and false belief systems like "im as stupid as my mother" and then came the abandonment and betrayal of the only human i thought would never abandon me in this entire planet- my husband who decided to have an affair with an Amanda. I had risked being with Ben, given two children and endured so much negativity for that union- just to be tossed in the garbage for a kinkier model- almost.... no it pretty much drove me to deaths doorstep! Didn't seem to matter to anyone else though. out of sight...out of mind right. I was literally at 9:57PM on 9/17/2017 I was looking for a song called Warrior by Sia... and I just finish singing some of the songs im posting on my blog. I turn to my beloved and as him - "do i sing off key a lot? if so just tell me to shut up"... then i found this song...wow. That is literally a DIVINE ANSWER! WOW....
Clipped wings, I was a broken thing
Had a voice, had a voice but I could not sing
You would wind me down
I struggled on the ground, oh
So lost, the line had been crossed
Had a voice, had a voice but I could not talk
You held me down
I struggle to fly now, oh
But there's a scream inside that we all try to hide
We hold on so tight, we cannot deny
Eats us alive, oh it eats us alive, oh
Yes, there's a scream inside that we all try to hide
We hold on so tight, but I don't wanna die, no
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, yeah
I'm not gon' care if I sing off key
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I shout it out like a bird set free
No, I don't care if I sing off key
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
It was then that my family vicariously witnessed the darkest night a soul could ever endure! But having obviously gotten through all of that- rising up and turning it into a strength- has changed none of their perceptions of me nor has it cracked open their hearts to even SUPPORT me in my own want and willingness to serve those who have dealt with the same crap in their lives- and to hopefully... JUST MAYBE- keep others on the brink of suicide from choosing that as an option! People like me care... on a much deeper level than anyone else you have ever met! I look not for pity or flat apologies.
I have dedicated my 30th birthday to
THE FOUNDATION FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION-
and am going to be active that day in the OUT OF DARKNESS WALK! For both of these I am asking for a minimum $20 donation- to help the prevention and awareness of suicide and those with mental illnesses.
You can show in action the insolvent you wish to have in my life by making a donation - or not. I've raised $60 thus far and $20 of that is mine.
"I received my first real donation for my birthday and cause 5 days ago and have been uplifted in a way I cannot explain. God is amazing at answering prayers and renewing faith when we are trying to do everything on our own."
Amanda said something similar on 6/11/2011
You can show in action the insolvent you wish to have in my life by making a donation - or not. I've raised $60 thus far and $20 of that is mine.
"I received my first real donation for my birthday and cause 5 days ago and have been uplifted in a way I cannot explain. God is amazing at answering prayers and renewing faith when we are trying to do everything on our own."
Amanda said something similar on 6/11/2011
She said similar to this on 6/18/2011
God is CALLING me to this mission. He has put this mission on my heart, and said, “Here you go!” Now what? As the reality of my next year starts to set in, I am finding myself stuck in this gray area. I am stuck in between wanting to be super active about my fundraising and business Trinity Alignment Therapeutics, and taking it into my hands full throttle. Contacting more people, selling a lot of my things, working full time, etc. The other side to this struggle is putting all of this energy into my faith in Creator.
We can read this repeatedly, but when do we start to believe it? And when we start to believe it, when do we start to act with such faith? My faith has been tested like I have never experienced before, and it is my constant prayer to give my stress, doubt, and worry about this nearing endeavor to our Lord.
I have supported my cousins and family in MANY of their hearts endeavors and in MANY OTHER WAYS I have volunteered myself for causes they are passionate about. All in efforts for them to "SEE" me. No longer do I seek that validation and appraisal... But i still seek a relationship of love to be rebuilt in the future. Eye have passion and a hearts calling too- and this is it. Whether they donate to help or not I won't give up... I'm a warrior
(regardless of how much weve donated- and my dad even donated $300 to my cousin (the one whos suicide attempt was swept under the rug and kept quiet -She is now after graduation gearing up to go on a missions trip- following suit of her sisters who she has to rise up to the same expectation I'm sure their parents still hold and prove shes just as good and Christly as their blood born daughter. She is but she is nothing like them - I see much more greatness within her)
God is CALLING me to this mission. He has put this mission on my heart, and said, “Here you go!” Now what? As the reality of my next year starts to set in, I am finding myself stuck in this gray area. I am stuck in between wanting to be super active about my fundraising and business Trinity Alignment Therapeutics, and taking it into my hands full throttle. Contacting more people, selling a lot of my things, working full time, etc. The other side to this struggle is putting all of this energy into my faith in Creator.
Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about we do not see.
Read it again and let it sink in.
We can read this repeatedly, but when do we start to believe it? And when we start to believe it, when do we start to act with such faith? My faith has been tested like I have never experienced before, and it is my constant prayer to give my stress, doubt, and worry about this nearing endeavor to our Lord.
I have supported my cousins and family in MANY of their hearts endeavors and in MANY OTHER WAYS I have volunteered myself for causes they are passionate about. All in efforts for them to "SEE" me. No longer do I seek that validation and appraisal... But i still seek a relationship of love to be rebuilt in the future. Eye have passion and a hearts calling too- and this is it. Whether they donate to help or not I won't give up... I'm a warrior
(regardless of how much weve donated- and my dad even donated $300 to my cousin (the one whos suicide attempt was swept under the rug and kept quiet -She is now after graduation gearing up to go on a missions trip- following suit of her sisters who she has to rise up to the same expectation I'm sure their parents still hold and prove shes just as good and Christly as their blood born daughter. She is but she is nothing like them - I see much more greatness within her)
- we all have been tempted to hike the slippery slope of Suicide Mountain- and God has not allowed us to access the peak in which we need to fall off of into death in the physical dimension. We have a purpose and message to complete and God would not allow us to do this yet again in this lifetime... no we will not repeat death that way! We are safe to be seen now! We will change history! With a heart of passion for God and CHRIST and determination like we have... no one can defeat us on this mission!-
In 2012 the Elite almost won and- I almost walked in front of traffic to end my life. Not because I 'wanted' to die but I couldn't endure the suffering and pain any longer (after two months straight of fucking around with drugs like meth, cocaine, crack, molly to experience anything other than the pain i was in the moments etc- I was withering away and all my family could say was "you're too skinny, eat more and put some weight on your bones!". Thanks... not helpful. I was invisible anyways so why would anyone notice my cry for help- instead they just attempted to take my kids from my custody- which was the last thing i needed- they where what KEPT ME ALIVE and made me clean myself up!) but God told me to go to the church across the street and pray instead! MY LIFE WAS SAVED... not by Christianity... NO BY FAITH BIBLE CHAPEL OR THE PRIEST WHO HELD MY HAND... NOT EVEN THE BIBLE that was spoon fed to me my entire life and hadn't helped worth crap in these dark time- BUT BY THE HOLY SPIRIT AND DIVINE GRACE OF THE CREATOR! So yes; by ALL OF THOSE THINGS- i was saved. The Divine works in multiple faceted ways!
And that was JUST THE BEGINNING OF MY JOURNEY. And even in the past year with my twin flame I have been on the brink of it - as as he... and it's taken us both grabbing one another into an embrace and screaming at one another to come back, that we have purpose, that we are WORTH SOMETHING. That darkness will never full go away - but we are never alone. To think i'm saying that when now... 6 years later... i'm actually truly beginning my life. I had to die for 6 years! I do not fear the 6- i actually hardly fear anything anymore. It doesn't rule me. And i don't regret any single bit of this journey!
THANK YOU
LORD FOR THE LESSONS AND BLESSINGS THAT WHERE AND WILL ALWAYS BE BESTOWED UPON ME! I LIVE IN ETERNAL GRATITUDE!!!
The biggest thing I've learned is this
You cannot try to save, adopt or fix anyone until you do so for yourself! You can keep giving and helping until you are depleted and forced to rest because you stopped focusing on your own Self so unconsciously that you create cancer and sickness within you. You have not seen this as a sign of how you lack in loving and are not being unconditional. Stop hiding from YOU and the God within. If you attempt to change others or raise others before doing so for yourself and having self love you will only destroy others in the process. For eons families have held too high of expectations toward one another. weakness is not acceptable. lets change this. We are not all meant to be the same. We all perfectly designed snowflakes from the same cloud but serve different purposes! The cycle of hurt people continuing to hurt people only continues, that is the paradigm im helping transition us out of! You cannot poke the speck of dust in your brother or sisters Eye before removing the plank that resides in your own! Hows that for biblical! That is what ive been doing the past 6 years. I've been hacking at the plank in my Eye.
Emotional and Aura Alchemy is required- not that dogmatic militarized conditioning! "You do as i say 'or else' JUST BECAUSE I SAID SO AND GOD GAVE ME THE POWER OVER YOU." You misinterpret the whole point of being a parent. So so far off course no wonder things just continue to get worse!
I am coming into the knowing of what true parenting is and it is NOT to be done in a controlling and autocratic manor! If your kids are having sex at a young age and/or talking about death and hating life or showing signs of suicidal tendencies, and turning to drugs harsher than Marijuana- you cant approach it as a WRONGNESS! WHERE ARE THEY NOT GETTING NUTURMENT FROM THEIR PARENTS!? Where WERE YOU ABSENT unconsciously to not guide them and teach them CONSCIOUS AWARENESS and teaching them Gods powerful love in every moment made available to you!
Its hurt me every time I've had to raise my voice and berate my children because that's all i grew up with and knew no different! "JUST LISTEN TO ME" i scream time and time again. But was i ever really listening to mySELF!? Nope. Not until about 2013. I then started to mix Love and Logic with Conscious ALLOWANCE and that has transformed how i parent in the NOW!
I will not force my children to answer to MY will- give me responses im expecting! But to be honest and authentic and genuine and open. We SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN FORCED by our parents to do this and we should not continue acting superior as parents to our kids! They and we arent fucking robots! We are not that type of governor over them! I wont dictate their lives or experiences or ways to express their individual selves! If they want to drive going 55 in a 35- ill let them and they will eventually get a ticket from the Divine and learn naturally that hey-' that wasnt such a good decision you made there'-now pay the consequences and lets work on alchemicalizing that. If I have any "allowance" for anything as an adult to "make my own choice"- SO DO THEY!!!! Inside those little bodies are SOULS even more advanced at times than our own! They are here to TEACH YOU- not the other way around. Actually were here to MENTOR one another equally, with respect and kindness and unconditional love! With gratitude and appreciation and allow stillness and alchemical communication to heal!
Its high time parents started honoring and respecting their kids as equally as they expect them to do to them regardless their age. Stop demanding and controlling! Even when they trst your patience! Would you appreciate someone doing that to you!? No! Just because a child is "smaller" by human age and body than the parent- authorizes no POWER or MANIPULATION over them. Stop trying to condition them! If they aren't behaving - look within yourself as to why "they aren't behaving" - and begin change there- your child is a reflection of your own darkness bleeding out and a core trauma needs to be addressed and screaming at your kid is not going to make the trigger stop- it will continue to trigger you deeper and deeper until you wake up to your own actions that create distortion in your life in such chaotic ways!
My children will be allowed to be free! I will help rewrite the future for parenting! Parenting out of a state of conscious awareness- not unconsciousness conditioning! Everyone taking conscious accountability for themselves and their ripple effects.
I know I am not perfect- never want to be as Eye KNOW Eye am Divinely so already- i needent prove myself here- and my little family can be seen as "broken" hardly looks like that of my relatives- one of the perfect ones with a pretty house and everything they could ever want career, material and financial wise. but i began in poverty for a divine reason- and i will work my way OUT of it as i to learn to come into richness and success as a humble and selfless individual! I am rising to help others- not my own selfish gains and pride! Im literally offer my whole heart to Gods creation!
I have seen the miracles of God performed in my life day in and day out- i write them- just as my cousin has- i share my journey of love- and i am reminded IVE JUST STARTED stepping into my true roll on this planet! I have time to build my ministry and it will become innate in me (not trained through religious constructs)- though most fear I dont have time and im walking a fine line- Eye know Eye Am fine... i live in my MerKaBa and travel safely to many dimensions of time - And i will allow no one to bring me down with their criticism and condemnation that isnt even worth a dime knowing ones soul is eternal!
Even Christ hasn't treated me in such barbaric manners! I have to ask them "what would Jesus do" only then does anything matter! You need me to only speak the bible for you to turn your ears on.
Romans 8:1
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ [Jesus]
From the words of my friend Shanti whos helping me grow and gain confidence to speak up in regards to this subject and be a way shower. She herself lives as a wayshower and is a good example of this parenting paradigm in her own parenting lifestyle/choices
"There is nothing that is unholy about me.
I am not a separate entity to my divinity.
God/Source/Soul/Spirit/HigherSelf/Body/Emotions/Mind...all one...no separation...all included and integrated.
I am holy ground ❤
and so are you!"
IF I CAN FORGIVE MY EX HUSBAND FOR HIS BETRAYAL I CAN FORGIVE ANYONE IN THIS EXISTENCE FOR THEIR IGNORANCE'S. I CAN BE CHRISTED. BUT I RISE EVEN FURTHER ABOVE FORGIVENESS-INTO MASTERY AND I KNOW THAT TO FORGIVE DENOTES A NEED FOR JUDGMENT- BUT WHO IS GIVEN AUTHORITY TO JUDGE OTHER THAN THE LORD ON HIGH? NO YOU SHOULD HOLD THE MOVIE "THE SHACK" CLOSE BY - THAT IS A LESSON YOU WILL CONTEMPLATE AND INTEGRATE YOU'RE WHOLE LIFE. WE ARE A FRAGMENT OF THIS SOURCE OF LIFE- OUR EGO LIKES TO THINK WE ARE "IT" AT TIMES BUT WE ARE NOT IN THE SENSE THAT WE SHOULD STOP GIVING GRATITUDE AND PRAISE TO "IT" AND BECOME ARROGANT AND BOASTFUL. WE ARE ONLY "IT" IN THE KNOWING AND REMEMBRANCE THAT WE ARE ALL A PART OF "IT" AS INDIVIDUAL AND UNIQUE EXPRESSIONS OF TRUTH AND FREQUENCY OF LOVE - WE ARE ALL CHRIST - CHILDREN OF THE CREATOR ABOVE, AND THUS WE REMAIN EYE AM THAT EYE AM BELOW AND EVERY SPACE IN BETWEEN AND OUT OF TIME!
GOD CANNOT BE OFFENDED. ONLY HUMAN EGO AND RELIGION GET OFFENDED. GOD HAS FORGIVEN EVERY ONE AND HONOURS EVERY ONE AS HIMSELF. IN REALITY THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE TO ANYONE. GOD LOVES EVERYONE AS THEY ARE AT THE MOMENT, REGARDLESS TO THEIR ILLUSIONS. ILLUSIONS ARE NOT WHO WE ARE. GOD KNOWS US FOR WHO WE ARE. ONLY HUMAN EGO NEEDS FORGIVENESS. GOD SEES US AS PURE SOULS, PURE LOVE AND DARKNESS, THAT COVERED OUR PURE SOUL ONLY ON OUR TRUE PURE SELFS, WHICH IS LOVE AND DARKNESS AS MERELY A DISEASE COVERING OUR PURE SOULS, JUST FOG ON PURE SOUL, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR TRUE SELF. GOD LOVES YOU AS HIMSELF, FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE FOR THAT I AM LOVE IN REALITY. THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE. ONLY HUMAN EGO GETS OFFENDED. ONLY HUMAN EGO NEEDS TO FORGIVE. TO FEEL GUILTY IS A REAL ORIGINAL SIN. GOD NEVER MAKES U FEEL GUILTY, YET SOMEONE ELSE CAN ACCUSE YOU AND JUDGE YOU IN GODS NAME AND MAKE U FEEL GUILTY, THEREFORE CAST AWAY YOUR GUILT NOW. DO NOT ACCUSE YOURSELF AND JUDGE YOURSELF, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, WHEN GOD DOES NOT FEEL U R GUILTY, WHY THEN YOU JUDGE YOURSELF AND ACCUSE YOURSELF. GOD IS NEVER OFFENDED, YOU NEVER OFFENDED GOD. RELIGIOUS MENTALITY AND DOCTRINE IS NOT OF GOD, BUT AGAINST GOD. HOW CAN YOU JUDGE SOMEONE, WHO GOD LOVES AS HIMSELF. HOW CAN WE JUDGE SOMEONE WHO GOD LOVES SO MUCH, OURSELVES. GOD LOVES EVERYONE OF US. GOD GETS REALLY SAD, WHEN WE FEEL GUILTY, FOR GOD HAS NO NEED TO FORGIVE US, GOD LOVES US AS WE SHOULD LOVE OURSELVES. THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE FROM THE EYES OF GOD AND EVERYONE IS LOVED AND HONORED BY GOD. SO CAN WE PLEASE STOP FEELING GUILTY AND FORGIVE OURSELVES IF GOD NEVER FEELS WE ARE GUILTY AND NEVER HAD ANY NEED TO FORGIVE US. LET THERE BE LIGHT. RELIGION MAKES US FEEL GUILTY AND RELIGION WAS CREATED BY FALLEN ONE'S IN NAME OF GOD TO DO TO HUMAN BEINGS, WHAT GOD NEVER DOES TO THEM, TO MAKE THEM FEEL GUILTY, TO ACCUSE THEM, TO JUDGE THEM. THEY PRESENTED GOD AS FEARFUL, REVENGEFUL, JEALOUS AND PUNISHING TO ETERNAL HELL. THEY DO IN GODS NAME WHAT GOD NEVER DOES TO ANY SOUL. THAT'S WHAT FALLEN DO, THEY DO IN GODS NAME WHAT IS TOTALLY OPPOSING TO HIS WAYS. LET THERE BE LIGHT. FROM GODS EYES FEELING GUILTY IS SELF ABUSE, ABUSE TO THE ONE WHO GOD LOVES AS HIMSELF, YOUR SELF.
TRUE MASTER IS ONE WITH GOD, INSTRUMENT OF GOD THAT I AM. THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE AND NO ONE IS GUILTY FROM THE EYES OF TRUE MASTER, FOR EYES AND HEART OF A TRUE MASTER ARE ONE WITH EYES AND Heart OF GOD. MASTER IS NOT RELIGIOUS. MASTER IS LOVING. GOD IS NOT IN HUMAN EGO AND SO IS ALSO TRUE MASTER NOT IN ILLUSION OF HUMAN EGO. THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE. EVERY ONE IS FORGIVEN FOREVER. MASTER IS NOT A RELIGIOUS LEADER AND RELIGIONS SPREAD GUILT AND OFFENSES IN NAME OF GOD. YET MASTER IS MOST SENSITIVE TO ILLUSIONS BELIEFS AND ALL TRICKS OF DARKNESS THAT ARE PRESENTED AS LIGHT AND HAS TO TEACH. SOMETIMES LIKE FIRE. IF EYE HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU IT MEANS I AM NOT A MASTER. IT MEANS I AM JUST A CONDITIONED MANIPULATIVE HUMAN BEING, WHICH EGO GOT HURT, IT MEANS I AM IN 3D CONSCIOUSNESS AND I AM NOT ONE WITH GOD, THEREFORE IF EYE NEED TO FORGIVE YOU, THEN I AM NOT A MASTER, BUT JUST ANOTHER RELIGIOUS LEADER, SPREADING UNGODLINESS IN NAME OF GOD TO CONTROL MASSES IN NAME OF GOD. I AM NOT SUCH. I AM A MASTER OF LOVE ONE WITH EYES AND Heart OF GOD THAT I AM. THERE IS REALLY NOTHING TO FORGIVE, REGARDLESS THE ILLUSIONS EYE FACE. REGARDLESS IF EYE ROAR ON RELIGIOUS MENTALITY OF MEN, THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE. GOD DOESN'T NEED TO FORGIVE ANYONE, EVEN WHEN HE HAS TO STRIKE THEM, FOR THEY DO IN GODS NAME WHAT HE NEVER DOES AN EYE ALSO HAVE NO NEED TO FORGIVE ANYONE. EYE LOVE EVERYONE AS GOD LOVES EVERY ONE. EYE LOVE MY ENEMIES EVEN, EVEN IF THEY HATE ME, EYE LOVE THEM AS GOD LOVES THEM. SO WHY WOULD EYE NEED TO FORGIVE YOU. THEN I AM NOT A MASTER. KALKI CHOPS THE HEADS OF DEMONS IN THE UNDERGROUND, YET HE LOVES THEM AS GOD LOVES THEM. IT IS COMPASSION, IT IS LOVE, THEY ARE FORGIVEN ALSO, EVEN IF HEADS FALL. THEY ARE FORGIVEN AND WHAT IS DONE UPON THEM IS ACT OF LOVE, FOR ONLY IN SUCH EXTREME WAY THEIR SUFFERING AND CAUSING SUFFERING TO OTHER HEARTS SHALL STOP. AND NEXT BIRTH THEY ARE TO BE BORN PURE, CLEANSED BY THE SWORD OF LOVE OF GOD. TRUE MASTER, TRUE ANGEL LOVES EVERY SOUL AS GOD LOVES THEM. TRUE MASTER IS ONE WITH GOD AND TRUE MASTER IS BEYOND OFFENSE AND BEYOND NEED TO FORGIVE, REGARDLESS WHAT HE HAS TO DO FOR LOVE. ONLY HUMAN EGO GETS OFFENDED, I AM NEVER OFFENDED I AM THE Heart ONE WITH GOD THAT I AM. REMEMEBER ARJUNA PRAYED FOR HIS ENEMIES BEFORE THE BATTLE AND HIS ENEMIES WERE CURSING HIM, BUT ARJUNA WON THE BATTLE AND ON THE END THEY CAME TO LIGHT. FOR MASTERS WAYS ARE ALWAYS LOVE.
YET MASTER IS SENSITIVE TO HUMAN ILLUSIONS AS THAT I AM. MASTER IS INNOCENT AND NOT NAIVE TO ILLUSIONS PRESENTING THEMSELVES AS LIGHT. EVEN WHEN MASTER GETS ALL ON FIRE FACING ILLUSIONS, MASTER DOES NOT RESENT ANYONE AND THEY ARE FORGIVEN EVEN IF MASTER ROARS LIKE FIRE. MASTER ROARS OUT OF COMPASSION, SO THEIR ILLUSIONS GET DELETED IN THE ROAR, MASTER ROARS OUT OF LOVE, SO FOG MAY BE CLEARED IN LOVE NOW. IT IS LOVE, LOVE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS AND LOVE NEVER NEEDS FORGIVENESS. LOVE KNOWS YOU ARE THAT LOVE ALSO THAT I AM AND ROARING IS JUST ACT OF LOVE, SO YOU MAY REMEMBER. FOR ILLUSIONS ARE NOT TRUE. YET PLS NEVER ASK ME TO FORGIVE YOU. TO FORGIVE YOU, EYE WOULD HAVE TO RESENT YOU FIRST AND EYE NEVER DID. EYE LOVE YOU AS GOD LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE. JESUS LOVED EVEN THOSE SAD PPL ON THE MARKET PLACE WHEN HE WENT ALL CRAZY AND MAD ON THEM AND WHIPPED THEM. HE WHIPPED THEIR ILLUSIONS FOR THIS BUSINESS WAS NOT WHO THEY TRULY ARE. THEY WERE CHILDREN OF GOD JUST AS I AM. SO MUCH ILLUSIONS ARE STILL SPREAD IN GODS NAME IN NAME OF LOVE AND MASTER MUST TEACH AND ROAR AT THEM. HOW WOULD THEY DISAPPEAR OTHERWISE IF THEY ARE NOT EXPOSED. NEVER JUDGE A PERSON, YET JUDGE A DEED. DARKNESS IS TRICKY AND CAN TRICK EVEN MOST SHINING ONES. BUT LOVE CLEARS THEM AND NOT RESENTFULNESS, JUDGMENT, AND ACCUSATIONS, YET LOVE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. YET EVERYONE IS ALWAYS FORGIVEN FROM THE BEGINNING TILL THE END, EVEN THOSE WHO ACCUSE ME JUDGE ME OR CONDEMN ME. GOD HAS FORGIVEN EVERYONE ALREADY, SO HOW COULD EYE RESENT ANYONE. EYE HAVE TO TEACH THOUGH, YET EVERYONE IS FOREVER FORGIVEN. IF EYE HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU, IT MEANS MY EGO GOT HURT AN EYE AM NOT A MASTER, BUT JUST ANOTHER PRETENDER. SO CAST AWAY YOUR GUILT AND DANCE IN LOVE NOW AS A CHILD. NEVER JUDGE YOURSELF. YOU HAVE FALLEN UNDER THE CROSS. IT'S OK. BUT PICK YOURSELF UP NOW AND LEAVE THE GODDAMN CROSS ON THE GROUND. TIME OF GUILT AND SACRIFICES IS OVER EVERYONE IS FORGIVEN. DO KNOW THAT GOD FOREVER LOVES YOU AND NEVER JUDGES YOU, ACCUSES YOU OR CONDEMNS YOU, ONLY THE ILLUSIONS THAT COVERED YOUR CHILDLIKE SPIRIT DO. LOVE YOURSELF NOW AS GOD LOVES YOU AND AS YOU PICK YOURSELF UP, YOU DANCE AND JUMP IN JOY FOR GOD NEVER HAD ANY NEED TO FORGIVE YOU AND LOVES YOU AS HIMSELF ALWAYS AND FOREVER, BELOVED CHILD OF LOVE OF GOD THAT I AM. WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF GOD AND CHILDREN NEVER FEEL GUILTY, CHILDREN HAVE FUN AND DANCE WITH JOY IN THE MOMENT OF THEIR CHILD PLAY AND IN THIS WAY THEY BRING HEAVENLY KINGDOM ON EARTH, FOR HEAVENLY KINGDOM BELONGS TO CHILDREN, WHO NEVER FEEL GUILTY AND KNOW THEY CANNOT OFFEND GOD. LEAVE YOUR GUILT AND SELF JUDGMENTS IN FRONT OF THE HEAVENLY GATE AND DANCE, BELOVED CHILD OF GOD, PLAY AS CHILDREN PLAY IN LOVE NOW THIS MOMENT, FOR HEAVENLY KINGDOM BELONGS TO CHILDREN WHO PLAY SO INNOCENT AND PURE AND NOT TO GROWN UP AND SERIOUS, WHO FEEL GUILTY AND FULL OF OFFENSES. LOVE YOURSELF NOW AS GOD LOVES YOU AND THY IS THE HEAVENLY KINGDOM ON EARTH, BELOVED CHILD OF GOD. GOD LOVES YOU AS HIMSELF ALWAYS AND THERE WAS NEVER NOTHING TO FORGIVE.
WRITTEN 9/17 AROUND 6pm -
Around 1:00pm 9/18 a friends facebook post that explained it so much better than I could translate it!
GOD CANNOT BE OFFENDED. ONLY HUMAN EGO AND RELIGION GET OFFENDED. GOD HAS FORGIVEN EVERY ONE AND HONOURS EVERY ONE AS HIMSELF. IN REALITY THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE TO ANYONE. GOD LOVES EVERYONE AS THEY ARE AT THE MOMENT, REGARDLESS TO THEIR ILLUSIONS. ILLUSIONS ARE NOT WHO WE ARE. GOD KNOWS US FOR WHO WE ARE. ONLY HUMAN EGO NEEDS FORGIVENESS. GOD SEES US AS PURE SOULS, PURE LOVE AND DARKNESS, THAT COVERED OUR PURE SOUL ONLY ON OUR TRUE PURE SELFS, WHICH IS LOVE AND DARKNESS AS MERELY A DISEASE COVERING OUR PURE SOULS, JUST FOG ON PURE SOUL, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR TRUE SELF. GOD LOVES YOU AS HIMSELF, FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE FOR THAT I AM LOVE IN REALITY. THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE. ONLY HUMAN EGO GETS OFFENDED. ONLY HUMAN EGO NEEDS TO FORGIVE. TO FEEL GUILTY IS A REAL ORIGINAL SIN. GOD NEVER MAKES U FEEL GUILTY, YET SOMEONE ELSE CAN ACCUSE YOU AND JUDGE YOU IN GODS NAME AND MAKE U FEEL GUILTY, THEREFORE CAST AWAY YOUR GUILT NOW. DO NOT ACCUSE YOURSELF AND JUDGE YOURSELF, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, WHEN GOD DOES NOT FEEL U R GUILTY, WHY THEN YOU JUDGE YOURSELF AND ACCUSE YOURSELF. GOD IS NEVER OFFENDED, YOU NEVER OFFENDED GOD. RELIGIOUS MENTALITY AND DOCTRINE IS NOT OF GOD, BUT AGAINST GOD. HOW CAN YOU JUDGE SOMEONE, WHO GOD LOVES AS HIMSELF. HOW CAN WE JUDGE SOMEONE WHO GOD LOVES SO MUCH, OURSELVES. GOD LOVES EVERYONE OF US. GOD GETS REALLY SAD, WHEN WE FEEL GUILTY, FOR GOD HAS NO NEED TO FORGIVE US, GOD LOVES US AS WE SHOULD LOVE OURSELVES. THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE FROM THE EYES OF GOD AND EVERYONE IS LOVED AND HONORED BY GOD. SO CAN WE PLEASE STOP FEELING GUILTY AND FORGIVE OURSELVES IF GOD NEVER FEELS WE ARE GUILTY AND NEVER HAD ANY NEED TO FORGIVE US. LET THERE BE LIGHT. RELIGION MAKES US FEEL GUILTY AND RELIGION WAS CREATED BY FALLEN ONE'S IN NAME OF GOD TO DO TO HUMAN BEINGS, WHAT GOD NEVER DOES TO THEM, TO MAKE THEM FEEL GUILTY, TO ACCUSE THEM, TO JUDGE THEM. THEY PRESENTED GOD AS FEARFUL, REVENGEFUL, JEALOUS AND PUNISHING TO ETERNAL HELL. THEY DO IN GODS NAME WHAT GOD NEVER DOES TO ANY SOUL. THAT'S WHAT FALLEN DO, THEY DO IN GODS NAME WHAT IS TOTALLY OPPOSING TO HIS WAYS. LET THERE BE LIGHT. FROM GODS EYES FEELING GUILTY IS SELF ABUSE, ABUSE TO THE ONE WHO GOD LOVES AS HIMSELF, YOUR SELF.
TRUE MASTER IS ONE WITH GOD, INSTRUMENT OF GOD THAT I AM. THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE AND NO ONE IS GUILTY FROM THE EYES OF TRUE MASTER, FOR EYES AND HEART OF A TRUE MASTER ARE ONE WITH EYES AND Heart OF GOD. MASTER IS NOT RELIGIOUS. MASTER IS LOVING. GOD IS NOT IN HUMAN EGO AND SO IS ALSO TRUE MASTER NOT IN ILLUSION OF HUMAN EGO. THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE. EVERY ONE IS FORGIVEN FOREVER. MASTER IS NOT A RELIGIOUS LEADER AND RELIGIONS SPREAD GUILT AND OFFENSES IN NAME OF GOD. YET MASTER IS MOST SENSITIVE TO ILLUSIONS BELIEFS AND ALL TRICKS OF DARKNESS THAT ARE PRESENTED AS LIGHT AND HAS TO TEACH. SOMETIMES LIKE FIRE. IF EYE HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU IT MEANS I AM NOT A MASTER. IT MEANS I AM JUST A CONDITIONED MANIPULATIVE HUMAN BEING, WHICH EGO GOT HURT, IT MEANS I AM IN 3D CONSCIOUSNESS AND I AM NOT ONE WITH GOD, THEREFORE IF EYE NEED TO FORGIVE YOU, THEN I AM NOT A MASTER, BUT JUST ANOTHER RELIGIOUS LEADER, SPREADING UNGODLINESS IN NAME OF GOD TO CONTROL MASSES IN NAME OF GOD. I AM NOT SUCH. I AM A MASTER OF LOVE ONE WITH EYES AND Heart OF GOD THAT I AM. THERE IS REALLY NOTHING TO FORGIVE, REGARDLESS THE ILLUSIONS EYE FACE. REGARDLESS IF EYE ROAR ON RELIGIOUS MENTALITY OF MEN, THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE. GOD DOESN'T NEED TO FORGIVE ANYONE, EVEN WHEN HE HAS TO STRIKE THEM, FOR THEY DO IN GODS NAME WHAT HE NEVER DOES AN EYE ALSO HAVE NO NEED TO FORGIVE ANYONE. EYE LOVE EVERYONE AS GOD LOVES EVERY ONE. EYE LOVE MY ENEMIES EVEN, EVEN IF THEY HATE ME, EYE LOVE THEM AS GOD LOVES THEM. SO WHY WOULD EYE NEED TO FORGIVE YOU. THEN I AM NOT A MASTER. KALKI CHOPS THE HEADS OF DEMONS IN THE UNDERGROUND, YET HE LOVES THEM AS GOD LOVES THEM. IT IS COMPASSION, IT IS LOVE, THEY ARE FORGIVEN ALSO, EVEN IF HEADS FALL. THEY ARE FORGIVEN AND WHAT IS DONE UPON THEM IS ACT OF LOVE, FOR ONLY IN SUCH EXTREME WAY THEIR SUFFERING AND CAUSING SUFFERING TO OTHER HEARTS SHALL STOP. AND NEXT BIRTH THEY ARE TO BE BORN PURE, CLEANSED BY THE SWORD OF LOVE OF GOD. TRUE MASTER, TRUE ANGEL LOVES EVERY SOUL AS GOD LOVES THEM. TRUE MASTER IS ONE WITH GOD AND TRUE MASTER IS BEYOND OFFENSE AND BEYOND NEED TO FORGIVE, REGARDLESS WHAT HE HAS TO DO FOR LOVE. ONLY HUMAN EGO GETS OFFENDED, I AM NEVER OFFENDED I AM THE Heart ONE WITH GOD THAT I AM. REMEMEBER ARJUNA PRAYED FOR HIS ENEMIES BEFORE THE BATTLE AND HIS ENEMIES WERE CURSING HIM, BUT ARJUNA WON THE BATTLE AND ON THE END THEY CAME TO LIGHT. FOR MASTERS WAYS ARE ALWAYS LOVE.
YET MASTER IS SENSITIVE TO HUMAN ILLUSIONS AS THAT I AM. MASTER IS INNOCENT AND NOT NAIVE TO ILLUSIONS PRESENTING THEMSELVES AS LIGHT. EVEN WHEN MASTER GETS ALL ON FIRE FACING ILLUSIONS, MASTER DOES NOT RESENT ANYONE AND THEY ARE FORGIVEN EVEN IF MASTER ROARS LIKE FIRE. MASTER ROARS OUT OF COMPASSION, SO THEIR ILLUSIONS GET DELETED IN THE ROAR, MASTER ROARS OUT OF LOVE, SO FOG MAY BE CLEARED IN LOVE NOW. IT IS LOVE, LOVE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS AND LOVE NEVER NEEDS FORGIVENESS. LOVE KNOWS YOU ARE THAT LOVE ALSO THAT I AM AND ROARING IS JUST ACT OF LOVE, SO YOU MAY REMEMBER. FOR ILLUSIONS ARE NOT TRUE. YET PLS NEVER ASK ME TO FORGIVE YOU. TO FORGIVE YOU, EYE WOULD HAVE TO RESENT YOU FIRST AND EYE NEVER DID. EYE LOVE YOU AS GOD LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE. JESUS LOVED EVEN THOSE SAD PPL ON THE MARKET PLACE WHEN HE WENT ALL CRAZY AND MAD ON THEM AND WHIPPED THEM. HE WHIPPED THEIR ILLUSIONS FOR THIS BUSINESS WAS NOT WHO THEY TRULY ARE. THEY WERE CHILDREN OF GOD JUST AS I AM. SO MUCH ILLUSIONS ARE STILL SPREAD IN GODS NAME IN NAME OF LOVE AND MASTER MUST TEACH AND ROAR AT THEM. HOW WOULD THEY DISAPPEAR OTHERWISE IF THEY ARE NOT EXPOSED. NEVER JUDGE A PERSON, YET JUDGE A DEED. DARKNESS IS TRICKY AND CAN TRICK EVEN MOST SHINING ONES. BUT LOVE CLEARS THEM AND NOT RESENTFULNESS, JUDGMENT, AND ACCUSATIONS, YET LOVE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. YET EVERYONE IS ALWAYS FORGIVEN FROM THE BEGINNING TILL THE END, EVEN THOSE WHO ACCUSE ME JUDGE ME OR CONDEMN ME. GOD HAS FORGIVEN EVERYONE ALREADY, SO HOW COULD EYE RESENT ANYONE. EYE HAVE TO TEACH THOUGH, YET EVERYONE IS FOREVER FORGIVEN. IF EYE HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU, IT MEANS MY EGO GOT HURT AN EYE AM NOT A MASTER, BUT JUST ANOTHER PRETENDER. SO CAST AWAY YOUR GUILT AND DANCE IN LOVE NOW AS A CHILD. NEVER JUDGE YOURSELF. YOU HAVE FALLEN UNDER THE CROSS. IT'S OK. BUT PICK YOURSELF UP NOW AND LEAVE THE GODDAMN CROSS ON THE GROUND. TIME OF GUILT AND SACRIFICES IS OVER EVERYONE IS FORGIVEN. DO KNOW THAT GOD FOREVER LOVES YOU AND NEVER JUDGES YOU, ACCUSES YOU OR CONDEMNS YOU, ONLY THE ILLUSIONS THAT COVERED YOUR CHILDLIKE SPIRIT DO. LOVE YOURSELF NOW AS GOD LOVES YOU AND AS YOU PICK YOURSELF UP, YOU DANCE AND JUMP IN JOY FOR GOD NEVER HAD ANY NEED TO FORGIVE YOU AND LOVES YOU AS HIMSELF ALWAYS AND FOREVER, BELOVED CHILD OF LOVE OF GOD THAT I AM. WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF GOD AND CHILDREN NEVER FEEL GUILTY, CHILDREN HAVE FUN AND DANCE WITH JOY IN THE MOMENT OF THEIR CHILD PLAY AND IN THIS WAY THEY BRING HEAVENLY KINGDOM ON EARTH, FOR HEAVENLY KINGDOM BELONGS TO CHILDREN, WHO NEVER FEEL GUILTY AND KNOW THEY CANNOT OFFEND GOD. LEAVE YOUR GUILT AND SELF JUDGMENTS IN FRONT OF THE HEAVENLY GATE AND DANCE, BELOVED CHILD OF GOD, PLAY AS CHILDREN PLAY IN LOVE NOW THIS MOMENT, FOR HEAVENLY KINGDOM BELONGS TO CHILDREN WHO PLAY SO INNOCENT AND PURE AND NOT TO GROWN UP AND SERIOUS, WHO FEEL GUILTY AND FULL OF OFFENSES. LOVE YOURSELF NOW AS GOD LOVES YOU AND THY IS THE HEAVENLY KINGDOM ON EARTH, BELOVED CHILD OF GOD. GOD LOVES YOU AS HIMSELF ALWAYS AND THERE WAS NEVER NOTHING TO FORGIVE.
- Purna Ananda
I ripped myself away from my blog to get my kids home to their dad and getting dinner on the way home i saw this plate...
5DNG330
LOL I'm 5Ding it and the ascended masters and jesus and every one of my guides are right there with me. the 0 shows source creator is completely guiding my life :)
The end times are near- are you ready or will you turn around and run in fear!? The time for Unity is here!!! Eye am you, you are me- we are One-dont allow differences make it come undone for we are just different expressions of our Creator under the Sun. Its now time to declare that LOVE HAS WON! Namaste my loved ones. Thank you for the space allowing me to release. God bless you with peace.
I am creating a garden of Eden inside my own soul and my life. You attempt to plow me down before I even sprout. Not going to allow this. It looks dead... but its not, it's just been incubating and on the verge of emerging.
Jon Foreman's song, Baptize My Mind, as it sang to my cousin's heart on 6/11/2011 - It sang to mine also today
I am creating a garden of Eden inside my own soul and my life. You attempt to plow me down before I even sprout. Not going to allow this. It looks dead... but its not, it's just been incubating and on the verge of emerging.
Jon Foreman's song, Baptize My Mind, as it sang to my cousin's heart on 6/11/2011 - It sang to mine also today
Reaching always reaching
Never reaching solid ground
Seeking always seeking
Never seeking what I've found
Hey, baptize my mind
Hey, baptize my eyes
Hey, baptize my mind
For these seeds to give birth to life
First, it must die
There will be a 'flood' (wave-X) on September 22nd/23rd that will change the consciousness of humanity forever. I love you... do not be in fear.
I feel this calling to let all of the things of this world that I know and hold onto, to let them go. I want to give life, and feel that this old 'Kymberly' must die." And in this new life Trinity will rise.
Eye was baptized by water in 2012
Eye am now being BAPTIZED IN A RIVER OF FIRE!
I HAVE CHOSEN THE VIOLET FIRE OF TRANSMUTATION!
IT IS TIME!
No "Irony" that the whole world is on "fire" right now and while writing this on 9/17 it poured and thundered outside!
Let it rain, let it rain
Oh won't you let it rain
Let the storm rage
Let the water run higher
Let it rain, let it rain
Oh won't you let it rain
Baptized in a river of fire
The storm’s here
I’m so high
Thunder’s calling me, I’m going outside
The sky cracks
The wind stings
I want to feel you strike me down with lightning
Let it rain, let it rain
Oh won't you let it rain
Let the storm rage
Let the water run higher
Let it rain, let it rain
Oh won't you let it rain
Baptized in a river of fire
Let the storm rage
Let the water run higher
Baptize me in a river of fire
I cry out
For glory
I wanna drown in your wrath and fury
I feel your need
I taste your pain
Show me what you got
Bring on the hurricane
Let it rain, let it rain
Oh won't you let it rain
Let the storm rage
Let the water run higher
Let it rain, let it rain
Oh won't you let it rain
Baptized in a river of fire
Let the storm rage
Let the water run higher
John 12:25 – “Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”
My cousin and I have the same core values. We follow the same Christ. We walk the "same path". I have no labels and she choose the limitations of one. Eye know Eye Am One with all of Creation. Within me is a heart, the Kingdom of God where Source resides. Nothing can change this truth.
Namaste as I release the trauma between yours and mine. You may get mad at my bluntness online but it always seems like "never" is a good time to bring all of this up. Now please from this moment forward speak my name Kymberly no more for Eye am not blind or lost and Trinity is who Eye shall be moving forward. keep in mind sometimes your "prayers" are more of a curse which i don't need to make my situation worse, It is ever blooming into something greater, I'm living and watering myself in the now, not the matter (Past) or latter (Future).
Unless you are ready to own up to your own mistakes and take accountability for all that is expressed here today, don't look my way or speak words of decay. are you ready to be REAL and not fake? take off those mask and stop pretending every Christmas or holiday is a Masquerade! I don't want to know who's getting gifts for who - nor do i want anymore material gifts from you. If you can't offer your heart and unconditional love that is true.Then i want nothing more from you because I have nothing but that to offer you in return!
Who are you to even think you can know the difference between good and evil?
You keep pushing me right to the edge
You are sanctified and I'm just a mess
And you blame me for, blame me for everything you hate
And you wage your wars
No matter what I give, you always take
You can crucify
You can nail me to your cross (light me up, light me up)
You can find me guilty for everything you've lost (light me up, light me up)
Go ahead, blame me for your sins
Go ahead and sacrifice me
Make me your martyr
I'll be your Joan of
I'll be your Joan of Arc
(Burn!)
You want to satisfy your high command
And you want to touch my face
With your dirty hands
So you blame me for
You blame me for the madness you create
And I wage my wars
Cause either way you'll burn me at the stake
You can crucify
You can nail me to your cross (light me up, light me up)
You can find me guilty for everything you've lost (light me up, light me up)
Go ahead, blame me for your sins
Go ahead and sacrifice me
Make me your martyr
I'll be your Joan of
I'll be your Joan of Arc
Who are you to even think you can know the difference between good and evil?
And into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and angels!
(What do you want from me?)
Nothing. I am here to set you free
Go ahead, blame me for your sins
Go ahead and sacrifice me
Go ahead, blame me for your sins
Go ahead and sacrifice me (sacrifice me)
You can crucify
You can nail me to your cross (light me up, light me up)
You can find me guilty for everything you've lost (light me up, light me up)
Go ahead, blame me for your sins
Go ahead and sacrifice me
Make me your martyr
I'll be your Joan of
I'll be your Joan of Arc
Read the blog I recently wrote!
Jesus whispered in my ear and guided me to share this scripture, he's here with me right now - and Joan Of Arc is the spirit that resides within myself along with Archangel Michael the blue ray who holds the sWORD of Truth!
I have yet to ever read this scripture in depth but he sure helped me process this very moment! oh and its pouring rain and thundering like crazy - SOMETHING is shifting... Eye am the storm bringer
1 Corinthians 1-4
1 Paul, called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and our brother Sosthenes,
2 To the church of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be his holy people, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ—their Lord and ours:
3 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thanksgiving
4 I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. 5 For in him you have been enriched in every way—with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge— 6 God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. 7 Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. 8 He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
A Church Divided Over Leaders
10 I appeal to you, brothers and sisters,[a] in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. 11 My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. 12 What I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas[b]”; still another, “I follow Christ.”
13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul? 14 I thank God that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15 so no one can say that you were baptized in my name. 16 (Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I don’t remember if I baptized anyone else.) 17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with wisdom and eloquence, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.
Christ Crucified Is God’s Power and Wisdom
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing,but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”[c]
20 Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22 Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those whom God has called,both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.
26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called.Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”
2 And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God.[a] 2 For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 3 I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. 4 My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, 5 so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power
God’s Wisdom Revealed by the Spirit
6 We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. 7 No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9 However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[b]—
the things God has prepared for those who love him—
10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.[c] 14 The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness,and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 15 The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments,16 for,
“Who has known the mind of the Lord
so as to instruct him?”[d]
But we have the mind of Christ.
The Church and Its Leaders
3 Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. 2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. 3 You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? 4 For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?
5 What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task.6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. 9 For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.
10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care.11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.
16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? 17 If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.
18 Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”[a]; 20 and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.”[b] 21 So then, no more boasting about human leaders! All things are yours,22 whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas[c] or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, 23 and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.
The Nature of True Apostleship
4 This, then, is how you ought to regard us: as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the mysteries God has revealed. 2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. 3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.
6 Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, “Do not go beyond what is written.” Then you will not be puffed up in being a follower of one of us over against the other. 7 For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?
8 Already you have all you want! Already you have become rich! You have begun to reign—and that without us! How I wish that you really had begun to reign so that we also might reign with you! 9 For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like those condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to human beings. 10 We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! 11 To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. 12 We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; 13 when we are slandered, we answer kindly. We have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world—right up to this moment.
Paul’s Appeal and Warning
14 I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. 15 Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. 16 Therefore I urge you to imitate me. 17 For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.
18 Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you.19 But I will come to you very soon, if the Lord is willing, and then I will find out not only how these arrogant people are talking, but what power they have. 20 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.21 What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a rod of discipline, or shall I come in love and with a gentle spirit?
You look at me like I’m a revelation
You wanna know if I can bring salvation
You saw a sinner, saw a saint inside of me
You wanna know if I’m a friend or an enemy
I waged war in a fiery blaze
I found peace in a purple haze
My angels and my demons
They don’t know their place
Ready or not, they’re gonna come out and play
I can be your heavenly or I can be your hell
I can say a prayer for you or I can cast a spell
I push you to the darkness just to pull you to the light
Cause I can take away your breath or I can bring you back to life
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
I won’t pretend that I resist temptation
I think it’s funny when you preach damnation
I’ve been to hell and back and now it’s just a part of me
Without the darkness there’d be no light in me
ADVERTISING
I waged war in a fiery blaze
I found peace in a purple haze
My angels and my demons
They don’t know their place
Ready or not, they’re gonna come out and play
I can be your heavenly or I can be your hell
I can say a prayer for you or I can cast a spell
I push you to the darkness just to pull you to the light
Cause I can take away your breath or I can bring you back to life
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
Half God, Half Devil
I can be your heavenly or I can be your hell
I can say a prayer for you or I can cast a spell
I push you to the darkness just to pull you to the light
Cause I can take away your breath or I can bring you back to life
Half God, Half Devil
I want to mention that my Uncle Clark who berated Natalie on the train that cold day in New York City- was the same one who in Lake Powell (This has been 'the vacation spot' my family often went all together as I grew up... some of my best memories reside there... i left my heart there.] saw me disrespecting my mom and being snotty and my sarcastic self. The 'not so in control of self- part of me- my unconscious' (The little me i have to deal with all the time through my own kids now :-P). He had got so irate at me and told me to apologize to my mom for being what i wouldn't blame him now for calling me; a bitch. Yes i was being one of those! I often can be when im not being conscious and present! Just as i called him an ass and bully earlier- i was also being this toward my mom. Now i always knew we are to honor our father and mother - but i guess in that moment i didn't understand what that meant! now i get 3 fold in 'karma' with my kids what i spit at my own mom as a little unconscious "shit". Believe me- now 30 years later i 'get it'. And i love when my kids reflect where i need to love and not cast down and belittle- but mentor and uplift. To do alchemy of the heart!
That day my Uncle practically forced my dad
"if you don't whip her with a belt on the butt right now-
I WILL".
Well...who where you to empower "your" will over me in such an abusive manor and force me to answer to you? what if I had kept silent? You aren't even my Parent- Brother Peter is.
Eye am now a reflection of yourself- your holy father- whipping you in the butt for the same reason. But I'm not physically abusing you- But here in in conscious awareness
I ask you to please apologize to your daughter as you made me apologize to my mother that day and it was right that you made me do so in discipline just next time don't be so harsh. We are never too old to learn a lesson about discipline. Go reflect on all of this, then lets have a really deep conversation and connection!
If this rises emotions or hostile anger within please do not project that upon me. I'm here to be open and raw and as authentic as i can be. I cannot hide anymore! I usually do as you please and express nothing at all, just put on a doll face smile and nod yes or no. I share my experiences to bring profound transformation and healing in situations. Kymberly is no longer in control- Trinity /Source Consciousness is the rudder of her boat. My own Father was a good one for me- I showed him this at my Wedding. He taught me a few years ago to always be conscious of what I say and what I do, because it has a ripple effect on the entire universe. I took this within my heart and truly saw the truth of this. I've been really working on discipline within my own life and allowing GOD/Source to be my navigator. I do not make this public to shame you- but these are not emotions and situations i can continue to ignore and keep quiet over and thus i write them and share them NOW. Our God wont allow me to hold them in. Never has been my burden to bare and for my whole life ive been yelled at for revealing peoples darkness publicly because no one attempts time to witness my heart and my gifts one on one privately.
Though i have offered them massage and an open door they must choose to walk through but have always keep closed. I lay my hands upon a select few I feel open to receive- desperate to receive. My touch hurts some of you-for it shows my true strength- I am very strong. I just need communication and my touch can be much gentler, not as forceful for my passion comes from my heart.
I have never had any problems or confrontations with Rhya... I feel like I connect with her on a very deep level- one that words need not be spoken. I know she had some issues with her adoptive parents for a little while but she joined the Air Force and started doing what she she desires and that is helping her.
I think she is amazing and if she was to join the government program i am glad it is the Air Force. I am an Air sign... i once dreamed of being in the air force and I did not have the confidence to do it. Maybe now I would but that personally is just not a rout that is meant for me. But i see you thriving and I see your shining and I support you in any and every endeavor you choose to chase!
I have not been very fortunate to bond with my cousin Samantha. She was the most recent adopte and was in the blog i had quoted from Amanda. Her name was once Anna - but she changed her name upon the new beginning of her life as a Stoesz. my interactions with her on facebook have been enjoyable and i love seeing her beautiful smile radiate on my screen and her little likes on some things I post. I hope to grow closer in the future. So i can know her and not just see the beauty she is. I feel the same with my cousin Alex's wife. And my Cousin Alex I honesty have not much beef with. I enjoyed the giving him a gift of a salt lamp last Christmas and he actually loved it... along with the puzzle game. I take time and actually put energy into what i gift people... I found it very funny that my sister also gave me a salt lamp that evening as my gift. It now sits on the window seal downstairs and helps my kids space since i had one shaped as a pyramid already. It made for a rather fun synchronicity! 
In Lake Powell i got to lay on hands with my Aunt Annette's knee- she appreciated it but never sought healing with me beyond that. She loved the hot/icey cream i used. I once got to briefly massage my Oma's arm, help her with her aching shoulder. we briefly talked about doing something on a regular basis but she never contacted me. My uncle Tom has always been a pretty nuetral player also. Loves golf and gentle soul- he has darkness of his own that God will work within him. Their union makes them happy and that's what matters most that they have growth together.
Opa wouldn't dare ever welcome touch- he said this directly... he wants no one touching him. That shows really how broken he is and how closed up. I will keep praying for him to open his heart.
I've offered both of my cousins Alex and his wife Laura; and meant to extend the same to Amanda and her husband Brandon (they live out of state so i didn't know how often they would be around to get massages) massages for their marriages. Most people would jump on that in an instant- appreciative of the gift being offered... but time and time again they ignore the fact this was gifted and it seems they would have rather had material possessions, or gift certificate to ANYONE other than myself-rather than heart transformation.
My cousin Bryan and his wife Courtney have always been really neutral standing. They don't talk much honestly. I loved their wedding- shocked me how extravagant it was but it was their day to be King and Queen and to each their own. My experiences in New York City to say the least will always remain with me. they now have 2 adorable kids... (I never thought Courtney would EVER have kids as she was terrified to even hold mine at 3 months old). She has very sensitive starseed children that are coddled in my opinion- well at least Teddy is but Willa I have only met once and she looks like a little sweet fairy. also love little Edwin who joined us a year ago and we have another little girl; his baby sister on the way and due for January. I hope I can be around to celebrate this: if not my blessings will be sent. I love all of them. i just wish i felt like i could bond a bit more with them but i feel like i will just make them cry. it's okay the Christ energy makes me cry too sometimes!
The first and only time I ever gave my sister Taura a massage she said "that was horrible, that hurt a lot! I would never let you touch me ever again!"... I was like... wow... she's that much of a stick in a mud she's going to belittle me and judge me based off of that ONE time... when i was still in massage school. I go to a depth she can never reach. She is a fish that sticks to the shallows. depth... seems she can't breath. Yet that is also what she craves from others as a Pisces... she just wants love as I do. She loves the mountains and oceans just as I do. She loves Disney just as I do. She loves music also. She has a passion for Christ but i see within her a soul that is lost and needs to be guided home... know she doesn't need to be perfect for anyone to love her. We shouldn't have to be perfect or continually wonder what is wrong with us that it separates us from Source. what would it take to unconditionally receive such a love that God has and feel it with and through others as we would with the Creator.I have faith she will find and equally yoked man of faith that will value her every yang quality as he should her yin. She is the twin fish... and a bull... They best be ready to deal with her strong faith and stubbornness, he will have much patience within him. I found the man patient enough for me... I send blessing that soon she will find her Prince Charming.
I just ask that you DO NOT try and act like my "older sister" all the time. Before trying to tell me how to 'be' or 'act'... let me speak for myself in the only way i know how. You're always so quick to give me your two cents. I have the two cents from the Divine I ALREADY NEED. God gives me 5 cents so I am no in approval of anyone's else's 2 cents.
I add this now at 6:12 9/22/2017 when you say this "Kym, if you ever want to actually talk about our relationship and fully move into a place of understanding, healing, and forgiveness than I am happy to have an open conversation with you. As you ask for respect and consideration of your beliefs I too ask for the same in return. Meaning, if you want me to hear your side than I need that extended to me as well.
I kindly, and respectfully ask, that you and Dad please stop lumping me in with the hurt you have experienced with the family. If you wish healing, understanding, and forgiveness with me, please come to me directly.
When there is broken relationships it is due to both people in that relationship choosing pride above reconciliation. Deciding that its entirely the other persons fault with unwillingness to admit wrong. I'm not perfect, no one is perfect, however the Lord still asks us to love one another and extend Grace in order to meat one another in pain and work through it rather than causing more pain. There is only one person that can except and love us unconditionally and that is the Lord. People are and will continue to let us down because we are not perfect, only the Lord is and thats when Grace needs to be extended, understanding that sometimes people act out of hurt and can't communicate that. They put their hurt onto others instead of working through it and it just turns into an endless cycle.
Please if you have something you need to get off your chest and truly want to work through, I would love for us to talk about it. But please, don't simply send me a link to a Blog post expecting me to behave in a way you want me to without offering a chance to actually heal our relationship.
I do love you. I love the kids. And I want nothing more than to see you flourish and find Joy in life rather than being so upset with it. I except that we won't always see eye to eye on everything about life but choose to love you regardless!
If you want to talk, please give me a call!"
This is you call Taura. This is the only way I know how to make that call. I ask that you show me respect and before you speak... YOU READ. You LISTEN to me... and stop trying to tell me how to do everything. I am tired of it. Please allow this dynamic between us to change. Eye am much more wide and old that you can fathom. Eye will respect you the day you show me the same in equal measure.
I just ask that you DO NOT try and act like my "older sister" all the time. Before trying to tell me how to 'be' or 'act'... let me speak for myself in the only way i know how. You're always so quick to give me your two cents. I have the two cents from the Divine I ALREADY NEED. God gives me 5 cents so I am no in approval of anyone's else's 2 cents.
I add this now at 6:12 9/22/2017 when you say this "Kym, if you ever want to actually talk about our relationship and fully move into a place of understanding, healing, and forgiveness than I am happy to have an open conversation with you. As you ask for respect and consideration of your beliefs I too ask for the same in return. Meaning, if you want me to hear your side than I need that extended to me as well.
I kindly, and respectfully ask, that you and Dad please stop lumping me in with the hurt you have experienced with the family. If you wish healing, understanding, and forgiveness with me, please come to me directly.
When there is broken relationships it is due to both people in that relationship choosing pride above reconciliation. Deciding that its entirely the other persons fault with unwillingness to admit wrong. I'm not perfect, no one is perfect, however the Lord still asks us to love one another and extend Grace in order to meat one another in pain and work through it rather than causing more pain. There is only one person that can except and love us unconditionally and that is the Lord. People are and will continue to let us down because we are not perfect, only the Lord is and thats when Grace needs to be extended, understanding that sometimes people act out of hurt and can't communicate that. They put their hurt onto others instead of working through it and it just turns into an endless cycle.
Please if you have something you need to get off your chest and truly want to work through, I would love for us to talk about it. But please, don't simply send me a link to a Blog post expecting me to behave in a way you want me to without offering a chance to actually heal our relationship.
I do love you. I love the kids. And I want nothing more than to see you flourish and find Joy in life rather than being so upset with it. I except that we won't always see eye to eye on everything about life but choose to love you regardless!
If you want to talk, please give me a call!"
This is you call Taura. This is the only way I know how to make that call. I ask that you show me respect and before you speak... YOU READ. You LISTEN to me... and stop trying to tell me how to do everything. I am tired of it. Please allow this dynamic between us to change. Eye am much more wide and old that you can fathom. Eye will respect you the day you show me the same in equal measure.
I wish for her truly to experience this like Eye have.
I remember laying my hands on my Aunt Kriss-she has suffered from cancer and her comment to my touch was that i was not "light" enough. Well to go lighter and not have to "dig" for the truth, if you communicate with me-i can approach lighter. I'm adaptable. I'm telepathic and my intuition on high but i still need verbal communication and you to understand my take on Cancer. I have not had ability or chance to even give healing to my Uncle Clark... he is one of the main one's i spoke about here. He is also one of the few that pulled me aside at a family gathering and attempted a heart to heart with me- my main pain is that he couldn't approach me this way more often. I do love his hugs though- they are sincere when I am near. I want these to individuals to know that although they hurt me in their unconscious states like i stated today, they also taught me some great lessons and where what I hoped could be positive roll models for God's love and passion for Orphans in my own life and where I could get active in something. Someday in my far future I will travel the world just as you all have been graciously gifted to do in your lifetimes thus far. And I truly want to wish you a belated 30 year anniversary for your marriage and 10 year anniversary for the Ukrainian Outreach! I am turning 30 and grace is turning 10 and my newly wedded Husband is on the 25th and he will be turning 26; and we just got married on 8/11/2017 after meeting on Fathers day 6/19/2016 - that is also something to celebrate and congratulate on my end! You can follow our love journey here on my blog!!!
My husband might as well be considered an Orphan - He has no memory nor will his mother relinquish any of his birther father. Thus its like he was a bastard child. He has his birth mother and two Step fathers. Shawnee Mary and Mark Joseph and his first father David and Tammy is his step mom (who we live with) .he need to be extended the same amount of love and heart as our own adoptive family members. Life hasn't been a pitcher of sweet lemon aid for him.
Our love for one another is what makes us the strongest! We are a force of love to be reckoned with! I feel you both are this for each other also! Please honor my union as Eye honor yours. I want to express that you are creating a legacy that your children indeed are and should always remain proud of.
Eye am just BEGINNING the one Eye see for my own. Just take what is here and move forward in a positive direction knowing there is no separation between us... maybe we can even build a parenting system like I dream to all together and help many many others along the way. Your video i posted in the beginning is very inspiring... and you got the right idea... just don't ignore those so much more closer to home too.
I am only here to set free all that has transpired... and see where in there was lessons to learn and blessings of awareness to receive as treasure.
I also have to ask right here and now where all the pictures you have taken of me and my kids over the years that you have promised to make a copy of and give to me. I would love to see that I was a part and existent at your children's weddings. Because you know... I exist too. Would make a rather amazing birthday gift.
I desperately wanted to help Natalie with her genetic Scoliosis (i have it too in my low back) and wanted to be her massage caretaker but no one would entrust such a thing to me. I never felt trust or such an openness from them. Even now I wish to extend a gift certificate to Natalie for her 18th birthday that I was not invited to (this is being written because of how much that hurt me). I wished to invite her to visit me at the bathhouse I currently work and thrive. I hope maybe someday i can be mentor of sorts and assist her out of the darkness if she ever feels life gets lonely again and needs someone who has literally been there.
My mother; even though she is NOT perfect by any means, and I do not expect her to be - as I am not either - has attempted to be involved in my life regardless of differences. She visits me at this spa Lake Steam Baths, and receives medical massage since she was in a almost fatal Motorcycle accident with her husband Ron. And I wrote her a letter similar to this one I am now to everyone else; But i held off on posting it- 'something' had me sit on it for a little while because there are some harsh parts that i need to revise and make a little softer. but that will be here soon.
The only thing right here I will say is that Sure she never responds to anything I write... she brings my sister Taura up all the time and I'm sick of hearing about her. If Taura really gave a shit about me she would come to me directly. she has my contact information .I'm right here but it will require effort on HER part. Eye am open... but i have boundaries. its requiring effort on EVERYONE'S part I've spoke about today. My mother has no response with anything I do metaphysically at all because it confronts everything she's ever been led to believe her entire life. It is not something she ever imagined i'd become. but... Eye Am Holy Ground. Even still it seems to go against everything she's been conditioned and "believes with full faith"- but she doesn't full on shut me out like everyone else. my sister can't even tolerate being friends on facebook. my mom listens or at least has been attempting to get to know me again. I mean someday some sort of acknowledgment would be appreciated... support from a mother can heal and transform much; It doesn't matter what mother or daughter "believes" or does in life or the barbaric mistakes that might come to pass. Just simply saying "i love you from the bottom of my heart, and i support what you're doing and the ministry you are paving for Christ. I see the passion you have for God, and I love that which is so clearly within you. I honor you, no more or less than anyone else. I mention our name regardless of the opinions of others because you matter more to me than they do. I love you and you are worthy."
If she can't do that... I understand, and I have the same patience as Job and the strength of Source to wait until the day you can raise in consciousness for that to transpire. I will meet her where is at because I love you until that day we no longer have to allow our Ego's to be liars.
This love it is a distant star
guiding us home wherever we are
This love it is a burning sun
shining a light on the things that we've done
I tried to speak to you every day
but each word we spoke the wind blew away
Could these walls come crumbling down?
I want to feel my feet on the ground
And leave behind this prison we share
Step into the open air
How did we let it come to this?
What we've just tasted we somehow still miss
How will it feel when this day is done?
And can we keep what we've only begun?
And now these walls come crumbling down
and I can feel my feet on the ground
Can we carry this love that we share?
Into the open air
Into the open air (into the open air)
Into the open air
This love it is a burning sun
Family gatherings are not appropriate settings for me to bring ANY of this up. Please don't shame me or feel 'embarrased' by the pictures i have posted. this is written out of love. It's been so jumbled in my head and my heart and my soul all these years that i haven't a clue how to end it or fix it and the pictures helps with a visual.
I blew up on my mom as I stated above - and it was my husband who had to stay behind to explain why i reacted the way I did. I have a very deep abandonment core trauma that i have been working through. it's like an addict facing everything in recovery and now im attempting some sort of reconciliation and establishment of trust.
I do not want to have to "freak out" on everyone and sit there and scream at them. Because I know i will not be able to hold back from doing this if I come around once more. That or my beloved will step up and say something much more abrasive than I ever could because he witness's the deep sorry and pain I carry like a fucking ball and chain. And if he isn't invited or acknowledged and if Opa cant take off his sun glasses and stop glaring at him from across the yard radiating negative energy... then we will not come because we are one and the same and if you cannot accept him and his beautiful brown skin... then thank you for not inviting us to your birthday party; because we certainly don't want to make you uncomfortable and take you out of your comfort zones.
I do not want to have to "freak out" on everyone and sit there and scream at them. Because I know i will not be able to hold back from doing this if I come around once more. That or my beloved will step up and say something much more abrasive than I ever could because he witness's the deep sorry and pain I carry like a fucking ball and chain. And if he isn't invited or acknowledged and if Opa cant take off his sun glasses and stop glaring at him from across the yard radiating negative energy... then we will not come because we are one and the same and if you cannot accept him and his beautiful brown skin... then thank you for not inviting us to your birthday party; because we certainly don't want to make you uncomfortable and take you out of your comfort zones.
You wanna hide
It's hard to speak
You feel the weight of your foolish mistakes
You say, you're fine
But your heart is weak
From a feeling you can't seem to shake
Open up, let Him breath to your soul
Meet you where you are
And make you whole
Even when you're broken
He's gonna love you
So pour out what you're feeling inside
You can tell Him anything
Whatever you've done
Because even when you're broken
You are loved
The ache is real
Words come slow
As you're tracing the steps
Of where you've been
It starts to heal
And freedom flows
There is peace in knowing you can start again
I don't know why we hold the past so tight
Hands of mercy offer us new life
Even when you're broken
He's gonna love you
So pour out what you're feeling inside
You can tell Him anything
Whatever you've done
Because even when you're broken
You are loved
Sometimes it's hard to make it change
(It's never easy)
Sometimes you wrestle with the shame
(Over and over again)
But through it all His grace remains
Even when you're broken
He's gonna love you
So pour out what you're feeling inside
You can tell Him anything
Whatever you've done
Because even when you're broken
You are loved
You are loved
I woke up the other day and was forced to write this. This new moon i am literally shedding all the weight i have carried karmically for this lifetime and all the others before. I have seen and paid witness to the pain my Aunt Kriss has endured because of her parents and their inability to love. witnessing and being succumbed to their barbaric racist and separation conditioning always asking "why did you adopt Ukrainian kids??? Why didn't you choose your own blood, Germans, why help the Ukrainians?!" I saw my aunt blow up and burst into tears. what i could have said to her right there, oh my heart broke! Her husband Clark has Ukrainian in him, they understood from that standpoint 'why' but still hold this energy of resentment that my family had helped orphans of different 'lineage'.
I LOVE THAT THEY HAVE A HEART FOR ORPHANS- I HAVE SINCE I WAS A CHILD- I LOVE MY 4 (ANGELIC) COUSINS SAMANTHA (ANNA), RHYA, LUKE AND NATALIE - I RELATE AND WISH TO BE DEEPER WITH. I ALSO WISH TO SUPPORT THEM AND HELP MORE OFTEN IF THEY ALLOWED ME THE TIME. I WANT TO BE A PART OF THE COMMUNITY-EYE AM NOT A SELFISH PERSON. I ALWAYS WANTED TO ADOPT WHEN I CAME OF AGE AND WISDOM TO DO SO PROPERLY. I ALWAYS WANTED THE CHILDREN I HAVE NOW EVEN THOUGH THEIR FATHER IS NOT PERFECT EYE 'FORGAVE HIM TOO'... I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO MOTHER THE WORLD! THAT IS MY CALLING. This is more than just a mission trip to Earth here for me. Eye am here TO TRULY SHINE CHRIST AND RETURN THE HEARTS OF THE FATHERS TO THE SONS AND THE HEARTS OF THE MOTHERS TO THE DAUGHTERS AND THE HEARTS OF THE DIVIDED INTO UNITY AND THE HEARTS OF THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND SISTERS OF SISTERS AND BROTHERS OF BROTHERS.
OPA and OMA too... I CONFRONT YOU HERE AND NOW... step into my kingdom- my heart ... FOR JUST EVEN A SECOND. You believe not in God... you have such HATED within that you have to be on deaths bed... to even inquire about your grand-daughter! How can you inquire and even say "i love you" you know not how to even love thyself?!
You are on deaths bed!!! Cancer is eating away at your Pancreas. If you don't take what i tell you to HEART today- you will die, and I will not come to morn or pity you at your funeral. I shed tears now... i will have none left for you then.
The science of oncology is based upon certain unproven assumptions, thus obscuring the understanding of the true nature of cancer.
Assumption #1: Cancer is a physical condition, therefore it has only physical causes. This has lead to endless research looking for environmental, genetic, dietary or nutritional causes.
Assumption #2: Cancer is a physical condition, therefore its cure must be physical. This brings us the overwhelming market of nutritional supplements, diets, herbs and the various chemical and radiation therapies used in conventional medicine.
Assumption #3: The emotional state or mind has nothing to do with cancer or even health in general. Medical studies use their most rigorous efforts to screen out mental effects on the participants.
Assumption #4: Metastasis is caused by escaping cells from the original cancer to plant themselves in other organs or tissues. Any histologist will tell you that prostate cancer cells are not growing on the lungs or bones. Likewise lung cancer cells don't spontaneously generate into liver cancer cells.
Assumption #5: Untreated cancers will grow continuously until it kills the host. Did you know that all benign tumors were once malignant?
Assumption #6: Viruses, bacteria or fungi and mycobacteria cause cancer. There is a strong association of microbes and cancer. But they do not cause cancer anymore that rain drops cause clouds; these organisms are in fact like a clean up crew.
THE TWO CLASSES OF CANCER
( as defined by Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer)
Class #1: Conflict Active Cancers: these cancers grow while a person is burdened with strong emotional upsets or traumas. Once the emotional issue is resolved the cancer will begin to break down.
Every type of cancer has own specific meaning. Stomach cancer cells can digest food 10 times faster than regular cells to digest indigestible discord. Lung cancer cells process oxygen more efficiently to enable one to escape life threatening danger.
Pancreatic cancers digest the most vile and ignoble events that life has to offer. Breast adenocarcinoma produces greater quantities of milk and of higher nutritional benefit for the loved one that needs desperate nurturing.
Examples are: cancers of the digestive system, breast, kidney, lung, melanoma, prostate or uterine cancers.
Class #2: Healing Phase Cancers: These cancers grow after the emotional upsets or traumas are resolved.
During the conflict-active phase these tissues become necrotic or like mini Swiss Cheese, which is painless and is rarely noticed. When resolution comes, the holes fill back up; swelling and growths occur repairing the necrosis.
These growths rarely can cause the crowding out vital functions.
Once maximum repair growth is done the unneeded tissues break down.
Some of the more common healing phase cancers are lymphoma, leukemia, cervical, bone and interductal breast cancers, most bladder cancers, palate cancer, ovarian and testicular cancers.
Many cancers when found, are already in the breakdown or healing phase. The client goes to the doctor because he feels terrible.
Cancer may get broken down with the aid of microbes. This can be unpleasant with fever and infections. Bleeding or coughing up blood and tissue can occur. This is the time for a high protein diet and not to panic.
This is when chemo, special diets, supplements, Rife, bug juice or dancing the tango all seem to cure cancer.
A cancer diagnosis is a virtual death sentence, a very personal form of terrorism. However, how the patient reacts and if he panics will determine if there will be metastasis. (Metastasis is very rare in animals)
SPIRITUAL CAUSE & CURE
I work with cancer clients by helping to see the emotional conflictual connection to their disease. Once the connection is seen, I help them to resolve the root conflicts. Most often these conflicts involve fear, lack of forgiveness, rancor, judgment and/or shame and guilt.
When the conflict is resolved, the body begins to heal naturally.
The sorry fact is people survive cancer from alternative methods because conventional medicine didn't kill them. But many also die while using alternative methods because the alternative community does not understand the true nature of cancer.
I know people that have died on carrot juice, Essiac tea, B17, Hulda Clark or chemotherapy. All of these methods are outright dangerous if the psyche is not taken into account.
Then there are some within alternative health community that are just as corrupt as any within the industrial medical complex. Some write against the truth for purposes of self promotion and profit and they are fully aware of it.
You can't look at this division in medicine as good guys vs. the bad guys. Lackeys for the Illuminati are are masquerading within the alternative health community as well.
The reason for the increased prevalence of cancer and illness is plain and simple. Most people would rather not accept nor think about it. It is the moral decay within the family and community.
Disease is first created spiritually before it manifests physically.
If you cheat on your spouse, are promiscuous or arrogant, steal from your neighbor, hold onto grudges, abuse drugs, back stab your coworkers or don't love yourself and your neighbor, you are participating in the cause of disease and the soon coming destruction of civilization.
your own son- my father [who art in heaven, holly the by name. thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven] has told you to seek alternative medicine... to seek the laying on of the hands. Eye am not a demon performing magic. EYE AM NOT A WITCH. Eye am Christ healing the traumatized and Eye am here to TRANSFORM LIVES! WHY is it so hard to apologize about saying "i'm as stupid as my mother"... even being confronted you hold firm in this judgement. Will you allow it to go to the grave with you? because neither me or Grace [Nor the prophets Malachi and Elijah] will be there for you; Unless you do. Allow the fruits of the spirit to be seeded into your heart.
Every cancer and related disease starts as a serious, acute-dramatic and isolating conflict-shock experience. It manifests simultaneously on three levels: psyche, brain and organ.
The theme of the psychic conflict determines the location of the focus in the brain, and the location of the cancer in the organ.
The course of the psychic conflict correlates with the development of the focus in the brain, and the course of the cancer in the organ.
Hamer's observations are very much worth considering because of the large number of advanced cancer patients he has treated and tracked.
Another major part of Hamer's work concerns the healing phase of cancer. He has observed in thousands of patients that many of the most uncomfortable inflammatory symptoms, and the formation of many of the tumors showing up in scans, are actually part of the healing process. By managing these symptoms and helping patients transform their emotionally-based lesions Hamer and his protégées have achieved their high success rates.
The following chart illustrates the connections between organs and emotional issues. It combines Hamer's correlations as well as some of my own. As a disclaimer, you must remember that not all patients will follow what is in this chart. While it is a very helpful guide individual assessment is necessary.
Type of cancer Primary emotional issues according to Hamer Primary emotional issues
according to Starwynn/TCM
Thyroid Disempowerment Lack of full self-expression
Lung Fear of dying or suffocation Unrelenting grief,
issues with receiving and letting go
Lymphatic Loss of self-worth Deep, pervasive fear and negative thinking
Breast Separation conflicts Issues with nurturing – not giving or receiving enough - betrayal
Stomach Stuffing anger, "swallowed" too much negativity same
Pancreatic Anxiety, anger, family conflicts, inheritance issues Lack of emotional sweetness in life, relationship traumas
Liver Fear of starvation Repressed anger, extended frustration
Colon Ugly indigestible conflict Rigidity, inability to adapt and let go, holding anger within or rage-o-holic
Uterine Sexual conflict Sexual abuse and boundary issues - betrayal
Cervix Severe frustration Same as uterus
Bone Lack of self-worth, inferiority complex Too much or too little willpower, ancient conflicts
Melanoma/skin Feeling violated, unclean, loss of integrity Out of touch with natural rhythms of life
After Hamer's patients went through psychotherapy and resolved the specific inner conflicts that led to the cancer he was able to notice changes on their brain and organ CT scans. The characteristic lesions would disappear and be replaced by edema in those area. He sees this as a positive sign of healing. Eventually the body's own healing mechanisms would dispose of the cancer by assimilating, expelling or encapsulating it. As that happened normal tissue would grow back.
Summary
While most patients are aware of their surface emotions they are not as commonly in touch with the deeper causative levels that have helped create the life path culminating in their current issues and diseases. Practitioners who can evaluate and treat the emotional imbalances at the root of cancer can be of great assistance both for remedial treatment and raising the awareness of the patient.
Multi-modal therapy using energy medical modalities such as microcurrent, color light therapy and sound therapies are extremely valuable for establishing a true healing dialogue, both between the practitioner and patient and between the patient and their own inner self. The combination of acupuncture on selected points with color light therapy on the chakras has powerful effects at bringing hidden, blocked energies to the surface and facilitating positive transformation and release.
CLICK PHOTO ABOVE
HOW MANY MORE OF OUR FAMILY MEMBERS MUST SUFFER FROM THIS CANCER BEFORE YOU ALL WILL WAKE AND SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE! HOW DESPERATELY YOU NEED ME AND MY DAD AND MY HUSBAND AND MY KIDS- AND THOSE WHO WE KNOW WHO CAN HEAL. OH THE LIVES THAT CAN BE HEALED AND TRANSFORMED...
WOULD YOU REALLY RATHER CHOOSE DEATH AND TO BE RECYCLED AND REPEATED?! BE REBORN RIGHT NOW!!!
You do not have to have a physical death. just your Ego my beloved!
Even today 9/19 I saw multiple blessings and received sweet angel messages! withing the
past few days even. we received a cross on our doorstep, we received a Cicada bug showed up and Malachi tried to save it but and put it back in the tree but we're not sure if it dropped later and passed away but it was a blessing to visit us anyways!
Cicadas are the longest living animals, which immediately cause them to be an obvious and appropriate symbol of longevity in animal totems. This and rebirth are the most common themes associated with the musical cicada, and these symbols are interpreted as highly personal. They speak to individuals directly, not only through their song but in the messages that their lives send.
Cicadas as spirit guides aid in the development, recognition, and emergence of the self throughout the various phases of the life cycle.
They have a long and transformative life cycle themselves, which is why they are associated with the past and present, metamorphosis, reincarnation, and change. Their appearance and calling may come later in a person’s life, after a period of isolation and seclusion, just as this insect experiences in nature. After staying underground for much of its life, the cicada insect breaks free and loses its shell. This serves as a direct calling to people who need to come out from hiding and break free of the restrictions that you put on yourself – “to shed your skin”. The Cicada symbolism shows a person’s ability to deeply reflect and be reborn as a new, better individual who can express him/herself honestly.
Cicada Associated Traits
Longevity, Rebirth, Metamorphosis, Reflection, Change, Development
Longevity, Rebirth, Metamorphosis, Reflection, Change, Development
Often times, you may find it difficult to understand and be comfortable and honest with your true self. You may feel completely and utterly lost and do not know where to look. Ironically, the information and insight that individuals seek usually lies just below the surface anyway, guarded only by blockades that we’ve created for ourselves.
When the cicada animal totem emerges from its life underground, it symbolizes rebirth into a new life, but also places importance on examining what can and should be resurrected from the old life. Re-examining elements of the past does not necessarily need to hinder growth and progress in the future. If you can learn one thing from the past, that knowledge will prove useful in a positive re-emergence into the future.
These songstresses can teach you the commonly neglected art of communicating with yourself. Cicadas are strong communicators and inspire the same trait in people through their songs. They have a very distinct sound that is all their own, which symbolizes the need to channel your own voice and march to the beat of your own drum.
The Cicada spiritual totems thus help you to understand and be in tune with yourself by aiding in uncovering deep truths and thoughts that have been forgotten. After putting you in touch with your own voice, they aid in connecting it with your most heartfelt desires.
Because of this, you are enabled to behave and live in a style authentic to yourself. You can attain the rewards of all of those desires, as long as you are patient with the cicada symbol’s teachings. While your own voice is of the utmost importance, the cicada also requires a balance of speaking and listening. Although they play their own individual songs, they do so in harmony with their community by listening to their surroundings and others around them.
The cicada symbol’s themes of communication and self-discovery also have solar connections. They are heat-lovers who expose themselves in the hot, summer months. The summer season and the radiant sun that accompanies it symbolize light, expression, and nourishment, all of which are things that you need to take care of yourself.
Without light, nothing can live and without expression, you cannot nourish your soul. The cicada meaning shows that summer is the time for you to be aware of your self-nourishment. Are you warming your heart and the hearts of your community with positive expression and passion?
If not, it is time to reassess and illuminate yourself. You must let your own light grow inside of you before you can connect with those around you in the way that a community of cicadas join their individual songs in harmony.
Today my husband found a sun baked penny after a very deep and profound moment and conversion with his parents David and Tammy who showed up from their place in South Fork just like an hour after I sent them an E-mail saying this
God has brought a message for you. Namaste
IN HOWEVER MAD AND INSANE OR EVEN DARKEST WAYS IN THIS TIME AND SPACE PEOPLE ACT, ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE PURE SPIRIT SOULS MADE OF PURE LOVE AND LIGHT AS EQUALLY AS YOU!
AND DARKNESS ACTING INSANE IS ONLY A DIS-EASE. PAIN OF THE 3D WORLD OF SEPARATION THAT COVERED THEIR ETERNAL SOUL. HAVE COMPASSION FOR WHO THEY TRULLY ARE AND PRAY FOR THEM SO THEY CAN HEAL IT.
YOU CANT RUN AWAY- YOU MUST PLACE BOUNDARIES WITH THEM. YOU DONT HAVE TO COMMUNE WITH THEM ONCE YOUVE DONE THIS- YOU CAN REMOVE YOURSELF AND SEND PRAYERS, LOVE AND LIGHT FROM AFAR, WHERE THEIR ILLUSIONS DONT HAVE TO DISTURB YOU. YOUR NOT ADVISED TO DANCE WITH THEM THOUGH.
REGARDLESS TO DARKNESS COVERING THE SOUL, LOVE OF GOD WANTS EVERY CHILD OF GOD BACK HOME TO LOVE NOW FROM THE Heart. THERE IS NO SUCH DARKNESS, THAT COULD NOT HEAL IN TIME AND IN LOVE NOW ON THE LIGHT, YET FREE WILL FORCES NO ONE
ANGELS HOPE AND PRAY WITH COMPASSION, THEY SEND LOVE AND LIGHT IN HIGHEST HOPE. THIS MAY HELP MOST. NEVER HATE THEM. DOCTOR SHOULD NOT HATE A PATIENT, BUT SEE THE DISEASE AND LOVE THE PATIENT .
GOD WANTS ALL HIS CHILDREN HOME AND FOR SOME IT MIGHT TAKE LONGER AND MUCH DARKNESS, THEY MUST MASTER TO COME HOME. SOME HAVE CHOSEN TO STAY IN DARK PAIN ALSO. FREE WILL. YET DARKNESS IS NOT WHO THEY ARE.
UNDERNEATH PAINFULL ILLUSIONS OF DARKNESS THEY IS LOVE NOW, JUST AS THAT I AM AND YOU ARE. WORD I AM WORD
AMEN <3
- Trinity (Truly my friend Phurna Ananda who i woke up to on my facebook on 9/19)
Ps
Please come home, we love you.
There is darkness attempting to shred us all a part right now... they have been stressed, feel threatened and in fear over a tenant they have in their back yard... I have had valuable experience with dealing with crazy loiters and people like my ex 'fiance' Brandon. The thing is that today they actually listened to the guidance we have to offer in this now moment. It feels good to be appreciated...and valued by those who see the truth and experience i've had. They trust me. I guess it is not so much the "attention" or "validation" its the trust. They actually see and believe me to be an "Angel"... supposedly i saved their son... but... i did not... he's just me in a male body and Eye (Trinity) and helping him save himself... love himself... walk the path of mastery and have Christ in his heart.
My husband and I went to get taco's for lunch for Taco Tuesday at Fuzzy Taco's. The last time my husband had taken his father there they had to wait an hour for their order just to find that the system never processed it to begin with and they had to wait another half hour because it was so busy to get their order; so they comped them some free food cards. we where joking around but they needed a name for our order. I always trip on this because well... i always say trinity but my husband didnt know what name to use- (i'm still trying to decide or if i should change my name and have no "last" one until i can 'legally' make it known im married to my Twin Flame. I do not need to go into detail of our situation at this time; if you care to know please lets have coffee together so he can tell you 😃 )
anyways... so we are ordering and he doesnt wanna use his first name- we would go by his last name but he doesnt like his either and the guy said "you can do any name really it doesnt matter.." i told him my friend garret always used "elvis" and my husband jokingly said a few names and lastly blurted out "SATAN" and we were not being serious but the register guy thought it was hilarious and went with it.
"Satan came to order some Fuzzy Taco's today"...He was trying to use his coupon and the computer was not cooperating (often electronics will act up with our energy) and it went from him owing .30 cents to $4.04. 4 is a number that states angels are near and playing with and guiding us. two 4's can represent our twin flame union and makes an 8 which is infinity. I won't go into detail over this you can read my blog for more detail on these numbers. Basic message is that things are going GREAT 😃 and this article in particular really validated my Geometria and numerology!
I found out that on October 4th (another 4...making a 12 or a 3 which to me is always Trinity... union and Jesus or Ascended Masters!) is NATIONAL TACO DAY. and all taco's are just $1.
ON THIS DAY ALSO I WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR $11.11 READINGS- AS THE GOLDEN BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE WILL BE MADE AVAILABLE FOR ALL AND THIS WILL BE OPEN TO EVERYONE THROUGH ME UNTIL OCTOBER 23RD 2017 (THE COMPLETION OF MY 29TH BIRTH YEAR) IN WHICH MY PRICES WILL RETURN TO NORMAL AS ADVERTISED ON MY WEBSITE.
I made a sick joke about Satan coming to devour all the cheep fuzzy human taco's that tremble in fear for their lives that day (I have seen and been told this date along with my birthday will be transformational so i have reason behind my joke... in a light way but it sounds dark)- we just cackled... but i just had a channel 6:11 9/19
"for they have no clue what true intentions are! they will need to realize they are not just a taco...and they are by far all worth more than just $1 (or $7). but even just $1 x 7 Billion... goes a long way and help the whole world! One has to realize that we are a part of an entire TACO SALAD, and that entire salad has a mixture of ALL KINDS of Veggie Tales!!! Neither has a price because all was achieved within a community who honored barter and trade. Some are bitter, some are sweet, some are crunchy, some are soft, some are off, and some are just sometimes funky and we would rather avoid them- but they bring nutrition and sustenance beyond measure so we put up with them."
my higher self seems to love to use food as metaphors, it rather shocks me what i write. bwa ha ha ha ha
On our way out of the restaurant the song by Nelly Fertado Fly Like A Bird came on and it take me back a few years... it was one of my anthem songs
You're beautiful and that's for sure
You'll never ever fade
Your lovely, but it's not for sure
And I won't ever change
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (Soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (Soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And I need for you to know
Is your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (Soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (Soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
It's not that I want to say good-bye
It's just that every time you try to
Tell me, me that you love me (Oh, oh)
Each and every single day
I know I'm gonna have to eventually give you away, yeah
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true yeah
And I'm just scared
That we may fall through, yeah, yeah
I'm like a bird (I'm like a bird)
I don't know where my soul is (Soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (Soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is (Soul is)
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away (I don't know where my soul is)
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away (I don't know where my soul is)
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
And baby all I need for you to know is
Then we went to the dispensary for our medication and where joking around with the cashier. I walked in and saw a penny with the head facing up- usually represents good luck. He stated this too. I told my beloved he found a penny today also, that makes two... asked the guy if he wants my "two cents" about that... if it was worth it. lol. he said a Jewish would care and count every one of those pennies. I said "oh don't i know it. Many in my family don't know they are much like jew's being penny pinchers". he said "you know how i know... because my mother is Jewish"... my husband is laughing and chiming in and im laughing my butt off at this time. I told him "It's kind of funny because when I was about 18 i went to visit my mom who had a Jewish friend. he introduced me to weed and I smoked my first bit of Pure Northern Lights....I was blitzed off my mind- they aren't all bad, we all have our negative qualities; just something we have to be conscious over and acceptance" [just had this memory 9/19 6:30 and i could hear how much my mother repeated herself about the same subject just in a completely different form each time... we all joked about that... and how everyone talked on the same exact tone and it was driving me nuts because it was amplified and i saw a visual of a music note column and the different keys going up and down on the scale... it was intense. I eventually told her I couldn't handle the talking... it was deep spiritual and emotional stuff but i was young and naive as to what was really happening. I was experiencing some of my most profound musical and sound vibrational gifts. I could sense where there was too much repetition and when it was off key. ]
Music boxes have within,
melodies they carry with them
once they're open music fills the air.
Every person you have known,
has a song of their own,
once they open up you'll hear whats there.
It's not easy you must listen
with your heart for what lies hidden.
There was a melody, locked deep inside of me but now its free,
It found a place embraced by harmony, sweet harmony,
Love more than anything,
Teaches our hearts to sing,
Only love, could break the shell,
now I know, very well,
the love within myself.
Yesterday I left work to go home after my shift and i walked out to find a very small fluffy white feather... its like the symbol of a baby.. new birth... from the Angels. I saved it and will add a photo later. Today even when buying our cannebus we had to pay $26.37, i just kept giving them ones until they had that and my beloved magically pulled out just enough change and they told me to keep my lucky penny i was going to spend along with another 2 cents. They waived 3 total haha I looked at him and said "its lucky after all" for Trinity... the mother maiden and the crone/father son and holy spirit... all received a lucky penny from the Universe. Speaking of white feathers... we just found another one hanging on or kitten Namma/u (representing the Great Mother and Namaste). We don't have any type of down pillows out that they have access to... so where they came from is unknown... thats why i say "it's Angels"[8:23pm 9/19]
we get home and he is going to go out with a friend. we enjoy our cannibus before they leave and while hes out he sees a license plate that says OMA-240
could mean the day after my 30th birthday and proceeding my beloveds- profound healing will occur, the heavens will be celebrating.
it also brings the core vibration of 6. there are no 'negative' numbers. numbers are medicine. so dont see 666 as "Satan" or "The Devil"... they are still part of God and play big a roll in the huge cosmic play. They teach discernment. Michael and Lucifer and Brothers... both of the Creator... neither 'fallen' or 'righteous and pure'... one came to help Earth directly, experiencing the duality they where warned would be a major test; and another [Michael] decided to stay closer to God and assisting in other dimensions and the Ethers. Demons and sin and darkness are all illusions- THEY ARE THE ELITES... THE FALSE GOD. as i educated his parents today. ALL IS ONE! THERE IS A DIVINE BALANCE of the masculine and feminine - a yin an yang within the truth of the Creator.
Number 6 is related to the vibrations and energies of unconditional love, balance and harmony, home and family, domesticity, parenthood, guardianship, service to others, selflessness, responsibility, nurturing, care, empathy and sympathy, self-sacrifice, humanitarianism, the ability to compromise, emotional depth, honesty and integrity, adjustment, stability, poise, protection, firmness, healing, idealism, just and justice, conscientiousness, burden-fearing, solution-finding, problem-solving, seeing clearly, teaching, convention, curiosity, peace and peacefulness, circulation, grace and dignity, simplicity, reliability, material needs and economy, providing and provision, agriculture and growth, musical talent. Number 6 relates to problem-solving and signifies the need for stability in all aspects of your life.
Angel Number 6 brings a message from the angels to keep a balance between your material goals and aspirations, and your spiritual, inner-self. Respect yourself and others by taking responsibility for your own life and be honest and fair in all of your dealings. Be grateful for what you have already, as an attitude of gratitude encourages further positive abundance into your life.
When the Angel Number 6 appears it tells of the ability to use the intellect to bring about positive outcomes in your life. Be open to angelic signs and signals, maintain a positive attitude, and trust that opportunities will present themselves that will allow you to meet your material and financial needs. Trust that all will be provided for as you take care of and serve yourself and others, and as you pursue your Divine life purpose and soul mission.
Angel Number 6 encourages you to be loving, caring and nurturing of yourself and others.
It can also represent "Om" Om is part of the iconography found in ancient and medieval era manuscripts, temples, monasteries and spiritual retreats in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. The symbol has a spiritual meaning in all Indian dharmas, but the meaning and connotations of Om vary between the diverse schools within and across the various traditions.
In Hinduism, Om is one of the most important spiritual symbols (pratima).It refers to Atman (soul, self within) and Brahman (ultimate reality, entirety of the universe, truth, divine, supreme spirit, cosmic principles, knowledge). The syllable is often found at the beginning and the end of chapters in the Vedas, the Upanishads, and other Hindu texts.[11] It is a sacred spiritual incantation made before and during the recitation of spiritual texts, during puja and private prayers, in ceremonies of rites of passages (sanskara) such as weddings, and sometimes during meditative and spiritual activities such as Yoga.
and my mom just sent me 9/19 6:37 - WOW!!! I'm just blown away. She is one of the individuals who has been hurt by the wrath of my Opa-John. there's not 'coincidence' in these things. This is to transmute healing for her and everyone else whether you find it in your heart to forgive and love; or not. I feel a want for my Oma's Gypsy soul to break free also. She loves him and has sacrificed her entire life for him to keep him healthy and alive and 'happy'... yet has yet to learn how happiness does not come from a vacation... it comes from the relationship you build with yourSelf and the Divine.
My friends always tell me I get carried away
Sometimes I spit when I talk cuz I have so much to say
They don't seem to hear me but I guess it's ok
It's not their fault my minds working overtime with no pay
They always say the same things and it's starting to get old
That my head can't get sick
It can't catch a cold
I scratch and I pick
My insecurities poke
My fears, my anxiety, a voice that provokes
Take a walk, clear your head, breathe in count to ten
Cuz on the first page of life written in red
You'll never make it here if you don't learn how to bend
Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl
Someday you will find your place in the world
But ladies don't get dirty
Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space
With empty faith
Everyday feels like a battle and I always get hurt
I was frequently told violence was never the answer
But life doesn't abide by the rules of a child
I don't know how to fight only taught how to surrender
There's a certain kind of darkness that does a reaping
It usually takes you right before you are sleeping
Is it the crack in the door that it finds a way to creep in?
Or the crack in your brain that wants you to drop dead
I don't remember what it's like to see with clear vision
I awake every morning like the dead has arisen
I don't have to think this body of mine is a prison
You don't control me I just gotta find the light switch
But the more that I look the further I get
You're the only thing about me that needs to be fixed
Cuz on the first page of life written in fine print
Stop looking for light, live it instead
Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl
Someday you will find your place in the world
But ladies don't get dirty
Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space
With empty faith
My mind is a mess but I love it none the less
They tell me to hush but my words are all that's left
So on the last page of life written in gold
Don't waste it always doing what you're told
Peter John Kula (Dad's Emails)
Aug 17
Mom, you said that my daughter is a lost child.You are correct. Kym was lost when you and my father decided to not accept what she is.I am a lost child for the same reasons.I hope that we have an opportunity to sit down and speak to each other before I or You are in the ground (dead).Holy christ. You sent me to caticism to have me entrained because you said the priests know more than you do.The priest and the pope are as much an idiot than i am.I know that God can represent through anyone including a large black fat lady like in the book the cabin.Free Yourself .Open you heart and be open.I met the fat lady.Have you ever done anything other than you where told to do? I am sad because I see you and dad living in bondage to what you where taught. Taura is a lost child because you think she is not lost.I am waiting for you and father to have ..................conversation about future life.I think that you both are afraid to talk to me.Thank you for the monetary help.That is all you gave me.I have yet to feel a hug of acceptance.Do you accept me the way I am?I Am not on this planet to meet any expectation from others.Any way I love and accept both you mom and dad and again I inform you that I am not well.The doctor diagnosed epilepsy when I was In first grade, Father asks why I am not well?Do you not remember?I do not reside in this existence to survive.I am here .Being here was, is not my idea.Mother! why did you reject me when I opened Myself to you at lake powell ...................do you want to let me share with you?............Dad said go to the doctor.....I do not have health insurance. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy.,...................you will fill in the blanks and call me a stupid idiot because that makes you feel more smart and accomplished than I am .I need help ....to protect me from you and you from me.When I speak to blood you are all born reading this.I love Jesus because he loves me and I met jesus and Jehova and the elohim and the buddist master among the rest of those that offer .Rolling eyes .....go away....oh brother,you are not invited...not enough room at the in.Will you save me? will you kill me? Are killing or saving the only choices?Do not worry about me I am better ,smarter and more than you.(the last sentence was.................?)
Aug 21
Hello.............heaven high.........Hi family,
When we were sailors we said ahoy.Now we say hello.I say heaven high.I share in your face and not behind your back.I include you because you are important to me and because I said.Read your religion and inquire about the gossip situation.If you want to know me ,ask me.Please do not put your faith into gossip.I have nothing to hide nor do I attempt to hide anything from you.I am not here to change you I am here so that you can see me.I f my presence offends you please ask me to stay away from you.I see pain in my sister Kris and I do not appreciate her being injured by judgments from father and mother.Sister Annette processed these judgments years ago ,We do not need a stinking vacation .We need to accept and respect one another for what we are.We bring lift to this place and we are not rapists or any derogatory action that may require a judgement of being useless.Why do I feel useless?I know that I am not useless.If you want to know god seek god and do not seek what others say god is.My dog showed me more than the invisible god showed me.Thank you dad and mom for the opportunity to vacation together .I prefer to have a deeper relationship together .A relationship ship ship that offers open communication and allowing others to share the experience and be a witness of their experience without other judgments.Who am I to judge you?
in and out of love that came from the inside.
I offer a quote from a man named Aug Tellez. Aug came from a time more real than this.Aug worked in the secret space program that included time dilation ,cloning and other experiences that could expand one's reality view's.I came from a place more real than this reality also.We all came from a time more real than this. We fell down into this reality. We are not at fault.A synthesized reality was created by an artificial intelligence ,machine to keep us trapped in illusion. Why?..read your bible..Be in this world but not of it. A authentic creation exists. Be aware of usurpers.The details are less important than his statement that follows.
The One True Compassion
The One True Creator is the COMPASSION of the LIVING ESSENCE.
To release from the illusion, follow the path of the HEART, the CENTER OF BEING. Only through the CENTER can there be equilibrium which undulates outwards to influence ALL.
This video is just a SMALL example of the BEAUTY we bring to this planet... my dad... my husband and Eye... and my children.
I will not sit by and keep my mouth shut and witness this type of pain and suffering- and absolutely no response from a single family member. that's why I'm writing this and saying "fuck it". I'm done wasting precious energy over you.
If you wish to state even still that "I am as stupid as my mother" then go right ahead... I am but a reflection in the mirror and your curses do not hurt or effect me any longer. Eye am PROUD to be her daughter. Proud of my accomplishment. PROUD OF THE BIRTH SHE AGONIZED IN AND GAVE ME THE LIFE TO LIVE. She has just as a passionate and courageous spirit within her to stand up for her faith and the Christ she knows is within guiding her footsteps. Her spirit courses through this entire family- all those who chose Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Eye am her daughter, EYE AM HER 'Kimberly'- THE ROYAL FOREST... birthed of the glorious LAUREL. EYE AM CROWNED BY BLOOD AND BIRTH AND LINEAGE! No... I "May not be a Kula" and un-rightfully refused to "steer the houseboat" out of utter fear like my Oma screamed at me "ONLY KULA'S ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE"... okay take the wheel of your stupid boat... I wasn't going to lead you into harms way- I listened to the direction I was given and I am far from ignorant. My name doesn't define me. It would be nice to be given a chance to actually show myself and capabilities before your fear shoots them down and labels me incompetent.
Bay Laurel's scientific name comes from the Latin Laurus meaning "verdant" and nobilis meaning noble, or of high rank.
The Greek word for Bay is dhafni, after the nymph Daphne who was changed into a bay laurel tree by Gaea (or her father Peneus, or herself, depending on who's telling the story) to protect her from the unwanted advances of Apollo. The tree is sacred to Apollo and it is said that the Oracle at Delphi chewed the leaves and inhaled the smoke when seeking visions. It is also associated with honor and glory and kings, heroes, triumphant athletes, poets and other great men and women were crowned with it to signify their greatness in both ancient Greece and Rome. Garlands of bay laurel were traditionally bestowed upon the winners of the Pythian games in Greece and later the Olympic games (prior to the change, olive leaves were used).
Today, grand prix winners are given wreathes of laurel. The world laureate as in poet laureate and baccalaureate (lit "laurel berry") and the term "to rest on one's laurels" are additional reminders of the high status of this tree.
Laurel wreaths were worn for their protective properties. They were believed to protect against the anger of sky Gods and the Emperor Tiberius always wore laurel during thunderstorms to prevent his being struck by lightening. Doctors also wore laurel as it was considered helpful in curing nearly everything.
Opa; One more thing Eye ask you before you die- is to write a letter or call my mother and apologize to her for all the hell you raised in her life. Take some accountability. I recommend you do so with every on of your children and hated and loved ones... just as Eye am in this moment and was guided buy my beloved Quan Yin to do so a few months ago and i COULD NOT fathom how i could do something like that. well... instead of burning this letter... im recording it as that is what Eye am... an Ancient Sound recorder... i will also burn a copy in the ritual i will perform with my tribal family tomorrow night. what a blessed thing this came at such a lovely time! If you can't process any of this at this time... and can not honor these requests, that's okay... for Eye [intermission-- So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10] Oma came to Elijah's 6th birthday- at least that was some sort of attempt - and she got to reconcile in and have some closure with my mom. Now it's your turn... you where sick and could not attend- as usual. We do not come around because we do not need this sickness to leak into our lives any deeper than it has when we are inches away from freedom.
I can watch "The Shack" over and over and over, with no fearful and racist conditioning's putting me in resistance... and every time I'll cry... realizing the beauty of the space one reaches at the top of the mountain- that inner peace... [my experiences will be recorded here in my blog and any where i can write them until i can collaborate a book of my mission and pursue my career as a writer]
oh the joy and humility it can bring, and Eye can truly 'forgive you', and no longer carry these burdens.
I was watching sister act 2 last night and they sang the song JOYFUL JOYFUL... and that's what's springing from my lips right now because I'm letting all this crap out. I fee like Whoopie Goldberg on the 2nd clip.
Peter John Kula
3/24/16
keep the example of Christ in your heart......live for an eternity for one another.turn the table's and wash the feet called life....love ya....that is why I am here.
What a wonderful and BRILLIANT father Eye have! Both up above and down below! I love him... he gets it!
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach?
Or would you turn the other cheek?
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love) [2x]
Where is the love, the love, the love
It just ain't the same, old ways have changed
New days are strange, is the world insane?
If love and peace are so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong?
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach?
Or would you turn the other cheek?
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)? [6x]
Where is the love, the love, the love?
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive 'til love is found
Now ask yourself
Where is the love? [4x]
Father, Father, Father, help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?
Sing with me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong with it (Yeah)
Something's wrong with it (Yeah)
Something's wrong with the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)
Everyone has a story for our Oma and Opa that these two people MUST take accountability for BEFORE THEY DEPART THIS DIMENSION! I can't force them to do this. It would help a lot of people heal if you did. Their parents may need forgiveness and be extended compassion too... your entire ancestral line. So many of you have seen the Family Tree Aunt Annette created. Well, I take all of that to an entire different level that I won't even attempt to get into the subject with you right now. But don't be surprised when aliens are alive and I'm communing with them while you all scatter in fear.
I love these two individuals more than they know-i do not wish for them to turn into dust and bones before my eyes without telling them how i feel and how much love resides and can transform their lives- maybe even give you a few more years of time to be together in this paradigm, to actually enjoy freely and not with all of this low vibrational density. my beloved Malachi states that my soul is shimmering right now (4:44 on 9/19/2017)...
When a soul does this-its extremely excited energy in quantum mechanics. Eye am in an alchemical mutational state of transformation. this is my "lead into gold" he says as tear are streaming down my face! we're laughing at the same time too. He gets to witness me the past few days just drop all of this and truly become "lighter".
maybe my touch will become lighter too- but many love my deep tissue therapy, though Eye am going to start more energetic modalities like Yuru... I also do Reiki and Chakra balancing. I bring you into Trinity... balanced Mind Body and Spirit unity. Back to zero point with the Creator. neither in the past present or future. Soul retrieval...the list goes on. If you want it light that's where I'll be. otherwise I will be able to offer Lymphatic massage (more swedish type) with aromatherapy and essential oils for emotional release!
maybe my touch will become lighter too- but many love my deep tissue therapy, though Eye am going to start more energetic modalities like Yuru... I also do Reiki and Chakra balancing. I bring you into Trinity... balanced Mind Body and Spirit unity. Back to zero point with the Creator. neither in the past present or future. Soul retrieval...the list goes on. If you want it light that's where I'll be. otherwise I will be able to offer Lymphatic massage (more swedish type) with aromatherapy and essential oils for emotional release!
I am letting it go... letting it flow out of my body... sadness that no longer serves me any purpose. The chronic pain I've had for many years is slowly unraveling and dissipating with each word i speak for a final time and no longer will my tongue and emotions be breached. I fill the now void and empty spaces with the violet fire of transformation and i fill it will Divine white and pink/rose light that permeates every BLOOD CELL within my body, igniting every atom into succession. turning every cell into a radiant Sun. Eye am that Eye am as Yeshua proclaimed, Eye am that Eye am as well. Word is my power for Eye am word. In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word WAS God. John 1:1. (My husbands middle name is John)
I want the Stoesz to know that Eye SEE their pain- Eye also see my aunt Annette of the Stelmack clan- I've tried so hard to connect and am lost as to what to do.
I feel and see their darkness- their core traumas from childhood and other relationships- i wish only to help end suffering that revolves within the entire family but is NEVER approached and when it is- its just back and forth egos vs hurt inner children. this darkness and unconsciousness eats away at your bodies.
Your heart, your pancreas, your breasts, your knees, your spine, your organs- your brain. Your entire nervous system. All the last attempt of your soul trying to show and guide you in the direction of Light and LOVE! The sever lack of it has been a curse upon our family for far to long and i wish it to end right here- right now- TODAY! The day any of you individually read this. This comes from the most purest and loving sacred places of my heart! Not to spark a rivalry but a revolution and liberation of the heart! I speak my pain today; witnessing your pain- feeling your pain- our collective souls pain! CREATORS PAIN OF SEPARATION FROM US! TELL ME YOUR PAIN- ILL TRANSMUTE THAT DARKNESS INTO LIGHT BY THE POWER OF CHRIST!
I feel and see their darkness- their core traumas from childhood and other relationships- i wish only to help end suffering that revolves within the entire family but is NEVER approached and when it is- its just back and forth egos vs hurt inner children. this darkness and unconsciousness eats away at your bodies.
Your heart, your pancreas, your breasts, your knees, your spine, your organs- your brain. Your entire nervous system. All the last attempt of your soul trying to show and guide you in the direction of Light and LOVE! The sever lack of it has been a curse upon our family for far to long and i wish it to end right here- right now- TODAY! The day any of you individually read this. This comes from the most purest and loving sacred places of my heart! Not to spark a rivalry but a revolution and liberation of the heart! I speak my pain today; witnessing your pain- feeling your pain- our collective souls pain! CREATORS PAIN OF SEPARATION FROM US! TELL ME YOUR PAIN- ILL TRANSMUTE THAT DARKNESS INTO LIGHT BY THE POWER OF CHRIST!
Yes i upset many in my publicity, but the Rebel does not care. The rebels purpose is To take you out of your comfort zone! Your refusal to take responsibility or accountability for your own darkness That i have carried for years- has caused far too much suffering within me and it is time to let go of those memories and move forward. If i have unconsciously or unintentionally have harmed, hurt or left a scar on any of you- please tell me, come and be strait forward. I will not take offence. this will be opportunity for me to gain awareness and so that Eye may kiss it regardless of technicalities like right or wrong - and it no longer can be visible in your memory or a discord between our hearts to connect! There is nothing here to forgive! Eye am a MASTER who does not choose to judge! I honestly cant continue engaging with 'family' who cannot express their hearts and honesty. Who cant unconditionally love one another and have space for allowance and awareness regardless of ages. Coming around leaves me depleted- feeding energy into memories that are no longer serving also depletes me. So if we cant rise into the new paradigm of relationship and love- i must part because my heart cant bear witness to the CHOSEN suffering anymore. Eye am the dove... soft and peaceful. I need my surroundings to be this just as equal
I wish to Mention how even i am not perfect- how i had to take a whole weekend to write about Jesus and my testimony to date- this very letter- and that took away valuable time with the kids i only i have on the weekends until they do or do not move away for the school year with their dad. And i rebuild the life no one has seen needed to be destroyed just to be created new on solid rock.
Matthew 7:24-27 24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
Let me breath you in, and breath the words in your mouth
Inside your shivering, the silence shouts so loud
I just want to, I just want to stay around
And while my heart beats I promise I won't let you dow
If I'm somewhere else it doesn't mean that I don't see
That you don't trust yourself, that's why you don't trust me
It makes me crazy, when you're crazy, you don't speak
You think you know me, but what you know is just skin deep
If you keep building these walls
Brick by brick towers so tall
Soon I won't see you at all
Till the concrete angel falls
I knew who you were from the start
But now I don't know who you are
Soon there will be nothing at all
Till the concrete angel falls
If you keep building these walls
Brick by brick towers so tall
Soon I won't see you at all
Till the concrete angel falls
I knew who you were from the start
But now I don't know who you are
Soon there will be nothing at all
Till the concrete angel falls
I do not get to choose when the Divine Steps in. Though i was channeling amazing things all day- As i was doing so i would snap at my kids "you're too loud- you need to shut up or just go away", I don't have the comfort of an office. my heart bled as Eye witnessed myself do this and diligently kept to my 'work and mission'- and took a note to keep working on how i can lovingly RESPOND to my children and give them the little bit of attention they deserve- no matter how annoying and bouncy and expressive they are to me at any given moment, and regardless the tantrum they may be throwing, or shedding 'unnecessary' tears- regardless what I am doing in the present moment and how important it is. I had become short with everyone but regardless they honored my need for personal space loved me unconditionally, hugging me as i came in and out of the 5D and payed witness to he magnificent love of the Christ energy. thank the Creator for Malachi being such an devoted husband and for giving me space to heal and taking care of my kids while i process and finalize eons of karma!!!
Eye am not the only one processing these energies. This blog was divinely timed.
The Angel Uriel is the one we can thank as inspiration to write all of this and begin focusing on my music career and getting my voice trained to sing again, learn an instrument... start writing and composing music that will heal the hearts of millions! Eye do have a dream. And either you are with me or against me and if you are against me... Please allow me to exit the stage of your reality. I wish to DANCE.... I woke up monday morning before work and was guided just to put on some music... I love it I'm always singing and listneing to music... and God speaks through songs for me...every song i put on my blog says something about my journey. I FELT him/her just take over my entire energy, Divine Light encumbered my entire Aura. I began to cry in revelation! I had told my beloved
On the wind I hear you calling
From the ocean far away
Whispered as the light is falling
You gently call my name
Eurielle
Eurielle
Will you wait for me?
Will you wait for me?
Though the winter sun is fading
And the days turn black as night
I still hear your voice saying
Soft words upon the tide
Eurielle
Eurielle
Will you wait for me?
Will you wait for me?
x2
Waves break in the silence
Peace shatters all around
Through the storm I feel your guidance
To your heart I am bound
Eurielle
Eurielle
Will you wait for me?
Will you wait for me?
x2
Om mani padme hum
Om shanti shanti shanti Om
Word eye am word through the intention of this letter we are now all released from Darkness's bondage.\ forever into infinity and beyond
Eye Am Light Divine
Eye Am Love Sublime
Eye Am Peace Beyond Space And Time
Word Eye Am Word
In conclusion of what was written on 9/19
Angel Number 919 brings a message from your angels that a situation or phase in your life has come to an end and a new door has opened for you as a result of your positive thoughts, intentions and actions. It is time for you to make some fresh starts and look forward to new beginnings in regards to the direction of your life and your lifestyle choices.
Keep your mind-set positive and optimistic and your thoughts filled with love and light and make the most of these new opportunities. Walk your spiritual path with confidence and surety.
Angel Number 919 encourages you to pay attention to your inner-visions, ideas and dreams as your dreams tell you what is really going on for you at that point in time. If you examine your values, beliefs and dreams in the context of who you truly are and where you are in your life, you may begin to recognize a shift. Once you align the values and beliefs of your dreams and your soul, you will find that the Universal Energies will work with you to turn your dreams to reality.
Angel Number 919 also suggests that your prayers are being answered and you have manifested all that you need in your life. Your true spirituality is coming to the fore and the angels are supporting and guiding you along your life path.
Angel Number 919 asks you to allow the 'old' to be released so it is able to be replaced with 'new'. Joanne Wamsley-Sacred Scribes http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2012/01/angel-number-919.html?m=1
ADDED 9/20
To all those who have embarked on the sacred heart path, which we shall define here as such: Anyone who has a high motivational quotient for being “in love” and has been catalyzed in some form or fashion into an awakened heart awareness. This message is for you.
During the transition on earth from the old templated relationships to the non-structured high vibrational sacred union there is a process which is taking place which must be completed. This new non-structured sacred union will replace the old relationship templates which can no longer exist in the higher vibrations because they are founded on co-dependency. Therefore, you who have chosen this path are part and parcel to this shift and change by the very fact that you are becoming the change you wish to see.
The ultimate sacred union connection between two people must be founded completely on wholeness and perfect feminine/masculine balance for it to exist. There can be no co-dependency whatsoever. For in these non-structured sacred connections, there is no negotiation. There is no “you do this to make me feel better” and “I do that to make you feel better.” That dynamic simply ceases to exist in the higher dimensions. Therefore, this transition must take place.
The pain that you are feeling during this transition is all about breaking the patterns of co-dependency. Therefore, there is no sacred union without this element being firmly established. We will say that there are those of you who think you are twins because you have encountered the catalyzing experience who are not. But we emphatically would like to reassure you that title does not matter. The outcome is what your soul set out to accomplish. You wish to experience SACRED UNION. And the twin flames came to ensure that you could by putting new patterns into the field of consciousness for you to access in order to clear your own obstacles to the blocks you have built to love.
Make no mistakes about this. This is an ASCENSION path, which means that you will be moving into higher and higher dimensional frequencies, returning to your original state of being. It is a journey that you wished to experience here on the planet at this time, or you would not be here. Your chosen path to do this is through a sacred heart ascension path because you are highly motivated in this incarnation by the potentials of sharing a physical loving union with another person. We as Source are here to experience individuation, however, there is no point in that if we do not use our physical vehicles to express love in a myriad of ways.
Have you thought of all the ways you chose to express physical love in sacred union here on the planet? Most of you probably think of the three letter word, SEX. And, while that is very satisfying in the highest of connections, there are so many other ways you wish to express. Humans wish to express verbally their love, they wish to give their time and attention to another. They also wish to share common expression of creativity, and share experiencing time/spaces on the planet as well. There are innumerable ways that love in sacred union can be expressed. But it is important to understand something.
There can be no sacred union in the way you know it exists through your catalyzed experience without being in your wholeness, having removed all the blocks you have built up to love. AND, you must experience having NO conditions on the other person. And NO dependency on the other person whatsoever. And this is a very difficult thing for earth templates to shatter because the planet was created on patterns of co-dependency and many of you view it as normal. It is normal to need another person in your time/space in order to have the “feel good” sensation you adore. That is co-dependency on another person. You will and have signed up to learn how to “feel good” on your own.
When two people who “feel good” about themselves and their current moment of NOW, come together in sacred union the true meaning of higher dimensional love can be experienced and ONLY THEN. Until that time, you dabble only in union of any form. For there is always darkness to be experienced within the context of the Light. And while you have been conditioned to think that everything must contain polar opposites, in the higher dimensions, this is not so. People can love unconditionally and have no dark experiences with the love that they share and express.
So what of the question that was asked? First we would say this. It is not necessary to fixate only on the subject of your first encounter, although many of you will anyway and there is no harm in it. While you focus on the incredible experience of heart opening you felt in that encounter, only your blueprint will tell whether or not you are meant to come into sacred union with that specific person. That being said, it is every possibility that it is so EVEN IF you are not twin flames. There is no difference in your chances of achieving union with a “twin flame” then there is of a sacred partner who you have experience the higher dimensional catalytic experience. If two people feel the connection, there is always the possibility that both will do the work necessary to bring about union.
So, what is the purpose of this extremely powerful heart connection one feels that puts one on this very challenging path…one which we will say is only for the brave hearted? The answer is simple. Ascension. The answer to everything you ever wished to feel within a sacred union is found within the ascension, or awakening, process. For awakening and ascending into your highest expression of self, embodied on the planet means to you that you will walk with absolute self-love and no harsh judgement from you or anyone else will ever exist in your path. This frees you up to create anything and everything that you wish to experience in your incarnation and going forward, including sacred partnership. Whether or not you are a twin flame, twin ray, twin soul, twin anything, matters not. Each and every one of you has the ability to achieve the awakened state of consciousness which will place you in the proper place within your heart to achieve sacred union with another of like vibration.
We say this to you. There is absolutely no issues at all with you focusing your sights upon the beloved of your choice, whether that person is a twin flame or not. It matters not at all. The motivation is the key to the success of the process. If an individual motivates you to shift into higher levels of consciousness then that is all that matters. Once you come into your own awakening consciousness, you truly can create whatever reality you wish to create. You will summon the person who you are resonant with or their resonant equal to join you in this connection. BUT, the work must be done first. There can be no co-dependency.
In this way, those Beloveds who have come in together to experience this shift are helpmates to each other. While you have a need for the other person, they cannot and will not show up. Only in your complete and utter independence from them, will you be in alignment for the sacred union you requested in your ascension experience. This will often be with the person with whom you aligned with, twin or not. But we assure you, as you continue to move forward in this process, you will not be disappointed. There is nothing more satisfying than standing in your own power and freedom to know LOVE from your own heart. There is nothing more beautiful than to look upon yourself in the mirror and love what you see. There is nothing more powerful than having mastered your own vibration so that you are no longer affected by others around you, so you are able to exist in joy no matter what. There is nothing more powerful than the abundance that flows to the awakened and self-empowered human who has learned how to collaborate with other like-vibration beings.
So, we hope that you now understand why you go through this process. It is about your ultimate joy and happiness. It is about the co-creative experience with All That Is, and the ultimate surrender into higher vibrations which hold the secrets to the sacred unions you all hold so dear to your hearts. There can be NO sacred union without the process. SO, if you are truly interested in finding that sacred union with your twin or other sacred counterpart, stay the course. Be encouraged that the planet is doing an extraordinary job of transmuting old patterns and each of you has your own role to play in that.
Take your job very seriously. For every pattern that is broken, it becomes available for all others to use and experience. You are on the verge of planetary freedom so stay the course Sacred Heart Path brothers and sisters. You came to do this work for the planet and for All That Is, which is YOU. You are the Universe. Be the change you wish to see in the world. We say this often. You will not be disappointed with the results!
And so it is…
~Higher Guidance Source Transmission
With much love through Debbie DuBois
Today 9/20 is my daughters 10th birthday! Her name is Grace. She has a brother named Elijah who turned 6 last year. What a joy and ride its been to watch this little starseed sprout into what I see growing into a beautiful young woman and will beging to "lead" her brother and the reprieve to his own destiny!
She started her period last month on the 20th and I see such a beautiful jewel forming within her! She is apparently turning my beloved and I into a ‘science experiment’ at school. It's a project she has to do as they are learning about some cool spacy stuff. She's explaining our union and how How two can become one! FUSION! Not just One Star Master- but two. It is not 'ironic' that i recently took her and her brother to the Fisk Planetarium with my father in Boulder Colorado. We got to watch a movie about "We Are The Stars" and an extra one called "Persus and Andromed"... NO irony at all in the titles or what was learned... My kids where introduced to their lineage and what they where all in one day. how awesome. We had an experience with my Moldavite Stone- I had lost and found my earring. That day the Masculine which was lost... found his screaming feminine and their Union was completed. This story is still yet to come- i have yet to write that blog as I have been forced to do this first. Which I'm alright with because everything is divinely ordained! Leaves for some suspense.
My starseed is off to a magical start! Truly stepping into her #10/1 year of new life! I'm stepping into my master going onto my 30th on the 23rd. My beloved will send us all into Infinity on the 25th for his 26th day of birth!
My starseed is off to a magical start! Truly stepping into her #10/1 year of new life! I'm stepping into my master going onto my 30th on the 23rd. My beloved will send us all into Infinity on the 25th for his 26th day of birth!
1:44 9/20 THIS SONG CAME TO ME- first time EVER hearing it.
I took the kids to visit the Fisk Planetarium to learn about stars and such just before they started learning about it in school! She did a cute little cartoon about it!!! (I have a whole blog to write still about this... I was forced to write this letter first :-O)
"Meet me on the edge of forever.
where your darkness melts with min
the missing pieces of our souls
will find each other once again in this life time"
TWIN FLAME SOULS ARE HERE NOW AS WE ARE THE 144,000 WHICH CAME INCARNATE FOR THE ULTIMATE MISSION OF GLOBAL PLANETARY ASCENSION. WE COME TO GIVE ALL THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF SOURCE THROUGH OUR UNIFIED SELF AS A TWIN SOUL MASTER.
HAVE YOU AWAKENED INTO YOUR TRUE AUTHENTIC UNIFIED MASCULINE FEMININE GOD/DESS MASTER SELF?
IF SO, ARE YOU WILLING TO DO YOUR PRIMARY DIVINE MISSION?
WE GUIDE, WE SHARE, AND WE CONNECT TO SOURCE, TO SELF, TO OUR TWIN, AND TO OUR MOTHER GAIA.
WE NO LONGER BELIEVE, BUT KNOW THAT WE ARE A TWIN FLAME/SOUL/RAY HERE TO UNITE WITHIN SELF, WITHIN TWIN, AND WITHIN THE MOADIC SOUL COLLECTIVE. WE ALSO KNOW IT IS OUR PRIORITY,OVER ALL ELSE, TO BE A NEW EARTH MASTER FOR PLANETARY AWAKENING AND ASCENSION.
ARE YOU ONE?
To my most epic love
I love you so my brilliant sacred Masculine
The New Man
The New Masculine
He is grounded yet he is open to Cosmic consciousness
He is so powerful but able to be so gentle
He is strong, very masculine but so tender and loving
He is secure enough with him himself to genuinely compliment you, support you and love you
He calls you his Goddess
He is secure enough within himself to be truly happy for you with every success
He is secure enough within himself to wish for you to fulfill your greatest dreams, to support you and do anything he can to help you fulfill those dreams
He is a fiercely faithful friend
He is open to growing and transforming
He honors you
He loves you
He respects you
He cherishes you
He offers you the most epic love
(My friend Sherie Poretta wrote this)
Today we will be celebrating the Mabon Sabbat of the 2nd harvest with our spirit mama Sarah Abbott- This is the Pagan Thanksgiving .we will be doing a ritual in which i will burn the letters Quan Yin had me write over the weekend to release during this new moon any and everything towards family
During ritual we will focus on expressing our Gratitude for our accomplishments and successes of the year. What have you harvested for yourself this year; what challenges have you overcome to move forward in your life; who helped you; who did you help; what changes did you make; what sacrifices; what is yet left to complete before Samhain?
Well my letters described all of that praise Goddess
"The autumn equinox is a mysterious time. It marks an essential passage in the process of enlightenment. It is a time of balance between day and night. Winter is a time of darkness and death. This duality between light and dark exists within humanity, and is about spiritual transformation, or alchemy. All things must die before they are born, all spiritual ascent requires descent first. We must all face and overcome our own darkness. Most of the esoteric meaning of the equinox has been lost along with any true knowledge of it. The builders of many ancient sites, such as the Great Pyramids, left the messages in their architecture. This mirrors the meaning found in the cosmos. This is part of the greater design of the Universe revealing to process of spiritual awakening to humanity. There are messages coming from above. The outer drama being enacted in the heavens, was actually an inner representation of humans become spiritual. As above so below. The alchemical symbol of the Sun represents the spiritual aspect that incarnates within each person. Any darkness is intended for spiritual transformation."- Robin MarkowitzMy mama makes us such wonderful food. Her alchemy is strong with the force of pure love
Thank you Sarah Abbott for the amazing Pagan Thanksgiving vegan dinner along with the box of food goodies and our love dolls for our birthdays! She reminded me today that my gifts and powers lie in the written and verbal word! Of course Eye knew this but she has been appologizing for saying something harshly a few weeks earlier during mercury retrograde. The pumpkin cake dessert was AMAZING! I told her that she is such a blessing- and i love her with all my heart strings
Just 'cause I predicted this
Doesn't make it any easier to live with
And what's the point of knowin' it
If you can't change it? You can't change, can't change it
Just 'cause I predicted this
Doesn't make it any easier to live with
And what's the point of knowin' it
If you can't change it? You can't change, can't change it
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
I'm not ready to give up
To be human is to love
Even when it gets too much
There's no reason to give up
Don't give up
Don't give up
Life was given to us a billion years ago. What have we done with it?
I feel everything. Space, the air, the vibrations, the people, I can feel the gravity, I can feel the rotation of the Earth, the heat leaving my body, the blood in my veins. I can feel my brain. The deepest parts of my memory
Learning's always a painful process. Like when you're little and your bones are growing and you ache all over. Do you believe I can remember the sound of my own bones growing? Like this grinding under the skin. Everything's different now. Like sounds are music that I can understand, like fluids. It's funny, I used to be so concerned with who I was and what I wanted to be, and now that I have access to the furthest reaches of my brain, I see things clearly and realize that what makes us "us" — it's primitive. They're all obstacles. Does that make any sense?
Like this pain you're experiencing. It's blocking you from understanding. All you know now is pain. That's all you know, pain.
I don't feel pain, fear, desire. It's like all things that make us human are fading away. It's like the less human I feel, all this knowledge about everything, quantum physics, applied mathematics, the infinite capacity of the cell's nucleus, they're all exploding inside my brain. All this knowledge. I don't know what to do with it.
Every cell knows and talks to every other cell. They exchange a thousand bits of information between themselves per second. Cells join together forming a joint web of communication, which in turn forms matter. Cells get together, take on one form, deform, reform — makes no difference, they're all the same. Humans consider themselves unique, so they've rooted their whole theory of existence on their uniqueness. "One" is their unit of "measure" — but its not. All social systems we've put into place are a mere sketch: "one plus one equals two", that's all we've learned, but one plus one has never equaled two — there are in fact no numbers and no letters, we've codified our existence to bring it down to human size, to make it comprehensible, we've created a scale so we can forget its unfathomable scale.
Time is the only true unit of measure, it gives proof to the existence of matter, without time, we don’t exist.
The dolphin did not invent the sonar — it developed it, naturally. And this is the crucial part of our philosophical reflection we have today: can we therefore conclude that humans are more concerned with "having" than "being"?
One neuron, you're alive. Two neurons you're moving. And with movement, interesting things begin to happen.
If its habitat is not sufficiently favorable, or nurturing, the cell will choose immortality, in other words, self-sufficiency and self management. On the other hand, if the habitat is favorable, they will choose to reproduce — that way, when they die, they hand essential information and knowledge to the next cell, which hands it down to the next cell, and so on. Thus knowledge and learning are handed down, through time.
For the moment it's just hypothesis, I confess. But if you think about it, its troubling to realize that the Greeks, the Egyptians and the Indians had notion of cells centuries before the invention of the microscope. And what to say about Darwin whom everyone took for a fool when he put forth his theory of evolution. Its up to us to push the rules and laws, and go from evolution, to revolution.
If you're asking me what to do with all this knowledge you're accumulating, I say, pass it on … just like any simple cell, going through time.
WHAT I AM EXPERIENCES FEELS SIMILAR TO THE CLIP IN LUCY BELOW... AND THIS IS NO THEORY TO ME.
MOST UNCONSCIOUS WOULD VIEW THIS MOVIE AS THE CLIP BELOW... BUT I SEE AN ENTIRE DIFFERENT MESSAGE WHICH YOU RECEIVE WHEN YOU TAKE THE PATIENCE AND GET TO THE ENDING OF THE VIDEO OR MY BLOG
I want to quote a facebook status of my friend I saw today- Aria Vaillancourt. I couldn't be in more support of her- because this is what Eye and walking away from within my family.
"You know... I grew up in a household where my parents made 200k+ a year, yet there was always the narrative, scarcity, and fear of "never enough". I grew up with an abusive narcissistic step father, who controlled every element of everyone's behaviors and life patterns, yet gave us the "world" through bribing, coercion, and gifts / toys (yet couldn't "afford" to take me to the dentist every year).
And now into my adult hood: I am still mimicking many of these learned fear based patterns, especially in how I view my wealth and abundance. I constantly feel like I don't have "enough" (and truly I live and humble lifestyle- job pays well but only covers bills, no room for fun money of any kind). Business exists to support any surprise extra needs in a month.
I'm observing and becoming aware of these negative binds, cycles, traumas, curses, hexes, and power mechanisms placed on my psyche to have kept me inside a disempowered, victimhood state. This was to feed the narcissic abuser that dominated my childhood.
I feel greatful at least for the clarity, self reflection, and knowing. THIS is not how reality should be, folks. We have a CHOICE. And that takes looking our demons (or familial parasites) square in the eyes, loving the shit out of it, blessing it, casting it out, and letting it know that your spirit has no HOME for it.
That being said: I am NOT a victim. I am NOT helpless. I have every resource within my being to EARN MORE, to thrive, to be happy, to in-joy my life abd not chose the emotional template of struggle. This is the real raw life shit of transmutation alchemy. Lead into gold; a new narrative unfolding."
Transmission From Trinity
She truly embodies Eye and listens to my direction but oftentimes enacts her free will to say as she pleases. She is not re-framed from her expression regardless of my embodiment within her. She has many faces- Eye have many faces- she is open and receptive to Receive the Divine Calling that was extended to her graciously. We work in conscious tandem; same mission at hand. Eye am her as equally she was once me in many past times before! With me Trinity she is the Seer and Oracle and Scribe of the Goddess Isis of 10,000 names- queen of the angels and Mary Magdalene in other related terms.
Many fragments, is she incorporating- much high energy to process in Quantum time frames. But she is excelling very rapidly. She thinks herself as crazy as i continue to write through her. I reassure her she is not and to just breathe; such a precious jewel we are crafting!
Thank you to all who are here and helping here in this space and time- for the encouraged betterment of embodying her most high self for Eye do not expect anything; she knows this; but she also knows better of Self and Mastery and the Higher intentions for the collective consciousness. She will correct herself and refines herself just as a potter does his masterpiece; thats why she was given the breath she breaths because Eye cannot do so without her permission. She must speak me into form; she knows this; and honors this mission; word we are the word. though she can get quite outspoken; shes learning to refine that "throat thing" she would say- her Vishuddha- for proper heart centered communication and expression.
Please have patience as she goes through these alchemical mutations and comes into more joyful states of consciousness!
Namaste beloved Ones
-Trinity Ki'LeFae IsisMagdelene 8/4/2017
9/20 All day/evening ive had a bone freezing chill i cant shake. Hot as a mother out but im prezzin from the slightest breeze even! What is this body!? My head and scalp are breaking out and i have two pimples on the back/side of my neck next on both sides perpendicular to each other... weird as heck. I can only imagine how much energy is releasing out of my body— fly away toxins fly away oh lordy in a bubble of light to be recycled out of the collective and my energy fields!
4:00am 9/21- dreams brought this message
New templates and light codes are infused in this blog- ive received my light body and activation codes to transmute and upgrade these current programmings of dysfunctional family dynamics and false matrix of Bal-
this is truly the end of that cycle and negativity in my life- eye am free. I do not have to be the only one to reach such state of liberation!
My birthday is near so Eye am scooping all the karma up into the palm of my hands and transmuting that darkness with my heart
THIS IS MY BATTLE CRY
LET MY PEOPLE GO
FOR ALL OF MY CHILDREN.
TRINITY IS FULLY REALIZED AND READY
MALACHI THE WARRIOR IS HERE AND READY.
GRACE AND ELIJAH ARE READY.
MY GATEKEEPERS /PROPHETS AND RAINBOW BRIDGES ARE STANDING READY FOR THE SHEEP TO AWAKEN!
The rapture truly is here- and i will be watching for the day and hour of Christs return...possibly by Saturday- the lives we once knew will never be the same. Ive processed ALL MY deep rage and sadness- ive allowed Christ to consume my heart and mind and replace it with gladness!
Now it is my mission to spread that grace and glory of god to every man woman and child- and animal and trees- to every nation on Gaia! Allow the divine father to rise up and fill every chakra with light and allow tears to stream down your face as mine have since friday! We are in for the independence day of our lives!
Quan Yin showed me the Gates of heaven 6:30 9/21
this is truly the end of that cycle and negativity in my life- eye am free. I do not have to be the only one to reach such state of liberation!
My birthday is near so Eye am scooping all the karma up into the palm of my hands and transmuting that darkness with my heart
THIS IS MY BATTLE CRY
LET MY PEOPLE GO
FOR ALL OF MY CHILDREN.
TRINITY IS FULLY REALIZED AND READY
MALACHI THE WARRIOR IS HERE AND READY.
GRACE AND ELIJAH ARE READY.
MY GATEKEEPERS /PROPHETS AND RAINBOW BRIDGES ARE STANDING READY FOR THE SHEEP TO AWAKEN!
The rapture truly is here- and i will be watching for the day and hour of Christs return...possibly by Saturday- the lives we once knew will never be the same. Ive processed ALL MY deep rage and sadness- ive allowed Christ to consume my heart and mind and replace it with gladness!
Now it is my mission to spread that grace and glory of god to every man woman and child- and animal and trees- to every nation on Gaia! Allow the divine father to rise up and fill every chakra with light and allow tears to stream down your face as mine have since friday! We are in for the independence day of our lives!
Quan Yin showed me the Gates of heaven 6:30 9/21
.... All beings have an intimate spiritual destiny of happiness and freedom. Beloved Kuan Yin shines tireless compassion upon all life to this end. Yet sometimes attachments, lower vibrational beings, entities and elementals become frightened of divine love and believe they will do better to hide in human energy fields instead. This blocks progress towards liberation where human beings and lower vibrational beings can pass through the gates of Heaven into Peace, bliss and homecoming to the spiritual source of all life..... Alana Fairchild, as Kuan Yin
This is a pretty deep concept if you let your mind go that far. Xmas is a perfect time for lower vibrational energies to spread like wild fire. Unhappy aunt's and nasty uncles tend to have a way to get into our energy fields and wreak havoc. Why? Because as kids we were told that our elders are more powerful then us. Thats how I felt about things anyways. I constantly lack boundaries around my elders in my family. I do not wish to experience the reality they live in, but when I get near them I get sucked in so quickly that I can barely hold on to the rails and come out alive.
Its all about energy. Not words, or theatrics or dramatics... its about energy invading my space and causing unwelcome feelings to come into my nice little cocoon bubble. Whether as an wanna be sociopath and not want to feel the feelings that I harbor inside for no one to see, or whether its from an Empaths stand point and I need to protect myself form the true feelings people actually have for each other.
..... You may consciously sense these attachments or spiritual presence that is not of highest vibration and needs to be released from your energy field or you may just feel angry, tired, depleted or 'not yourself' sometimes. This may be because of old energies that you need to release that do not belong to you or even from energetic influences that are not a natural part of your energy field and can be released for the greater good of all involved. The healing process below will help you even if you are unaware of the intricacies behind why you are feeling the way you do.........
I was on fb for whatever reason and since i found an article about my birthday i wasnt able to stop reading and go back to sleep! Things are making sense from the ones below in particular and Im having major epiphanies going on here and its not just my stomach growling in hunger!
I was talking to my mama Sarah last night and honoring the primordial mother- Sophia- Inanna- NAMMU- and the womb of darkness we where all birthed from- since i met Malachi she channeled an entirely new perspective of the creation story through me that some witches had judgments over-and this past year has been all about Geometric signs and integration of numerology- and realization of my connection to the Babylonians and Mesapotamian times [An and Ki]!
My third eye is on fire let me tell you a bit of what Eye see
Eye know eye am a “winged one” an An-Rah messenger. My belief system is not one that has been out in the open for ages - on 9/22 i discovered a prophet who actually is the closest i can find to my beliefs and visions! Eye am from the order of the Rosey Cross (not the ones the Elite twisted into the illuminate). (Essenes) Now Trinity is returning in my heart as Christ and Sophia return September 23rd 2017 i will be raptured into true rebirth with 2/3 of humanity- The cicada told me so- view me crazy is you wish. Eye am part of the 144,000 whether you wish the See that or stay ignorant to it.
This is a pretty deep concept if you let your mind go that far. Xmas is a perfect time for lower vibrational energies to spread like wild fire. Unhappy aunt's and nasty uncles tend to have a way to get into our energy fields and wreak havoc. Why? Because as kids we were told that our elders are more powerful then us. Thats how I felt about things anyways. I constantly lack boundaries around my elders in my family. I do not wish to experience the reality they live in, but when I get near them I get sucked in so quickly that I can barely hold on to the rails and come out alive.
Its all about energy. Not words, or theatrics or dramatics... its about energy invading my space and causing unwelcome feelings to come into my nice little cocoon bubble. Whether as an wanna be sociopath and not want to feel the feelings that I harbor inside for no one to see, or whether its from an Empaths stand point and I need to protect myself form the true feelings people actually have for each other.
..... You may consciously sense these attachments or spiritual presence that is not of highest vibration and needs to be released from your energy field or you may just feel angry, tired, depleted or 'not yourself' sometimes. This may be because of old energies that you need to release that do not belong to you or even from energetic influences that are not a natural part of your energy field and can be released for the greater good of all involved. The healing process below will help you even if you are unaware of the intricacies behind why you are feeling the way you do.........
12=3= JESUS... TRINITY
I was on fb for whatever reason and since i found an article about my birthday i wasnt able to stop reading and go back to sleep! Things are making sense from the ones below in particular and Im having major epiphanies going on here and its not just my stomach growling in hunger!
I was talking to my mama Sarah last night and honoring the primordial mother- Sophia- Inanna- NAMMU- and the womb of darkness we where all birthed from- since i met Malachi she channeled an entirely new perspective of the creation story through me that some witches had judgments over-and this past year has been all about Geometric signs and integration of numerology- and realization of my connection to the Babylonians and Mesapotamian times [An and Ki]!
My third eye is on fire let me tell you a bit of what Eye see
Eye know eye am a “winged one” an An-Rah messenger. My belief system is not one that has been out in the open for ages - on 9/22 i discovered a prophet who actually is the closest i can find to my beliefs and visions! Eye am from the order of the Rosey Cross (not the ones the Elite twisted into the illuminate). (Essenes) Now Trinity is returning in my heart as Christ and Sophia return September 23rd 2017 i will be raptured into true rebirth with 2/3 of humanity- The cicada told me so- view me crazy is you wish. Eye am part of the 144,000 whether you wish the See that or stay ignorant to it.
Spiritual Gold Rush
we where on mount shasta during The time of the video Spiritual Gold Rush. This is in California- which is the earths crown chakra and saint germane resides there. It's briefly explained in one of my blogs...go ahead and check them out. Eventually I will have time to do videos. This golden wave rushed through my entire body the day I meditated in that vortex of the mountain- there could have been no more of a perfect timing to be placed exactly where we where. I was gifted the angel wing blue Andara for my 29th birthday-which is a lot like the philosophers stone. I received my stone. My blog talks about it. Its very special to me. And i communicate to stones! I will create jewelry someday and other pieces of art with them!
Ever since i was a child rocks and astronomy and the stars and planets FASCINATED me. My dad once had a golden telescope I LOVED looking out of living on "Shepherds Ridge". Disney and music and dance and singing is everything i wished to aspire. Just true freedom is what i wanted to acquire! My dad encouraged me while my mom tried to shelter me in fear from it all because everything i had interest in was MAGICAL. My sister liked it all too as a Pisces she would like anything i did right after i gained interest in it, but i knew much of hat was superficial for her, i was connected on a level with the planet, the mountains and nature and animals and everything- i never felt anyone else was. I could feel everything. It was all competitive and for show for my family. But for me Its my true heart and divine birthright of expression! It is a dream I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON because of fear and the limitations my family continue to believe and put faith in.
Even today 9/21 at work a BEAUTIFUL renouned Prime Minister by the name Charlynne Boddie was placed upon my table. I got to tell her my experiences with Jesus, what I've been seeing and what's been happening to me... what I crave to have my future. I guess she travels from here to England every six months. she was pernounced a miracle because she got some bug in her eye that caused her to loose her sight and almost her life and it was by the Grace of God that she was healed and her life restored. She is a renouned life couch (used to have her own talk show in Hollywood) and also is a motivational coach for those interested in the Arts and Entertainment. She's worked with both polarites of the that world of the norm and then the "christian". She gave me the contact number of a highly known and popular Vocal Coach. He's the #1 guy saught after in America. I don't have to go to New York... or college... God gave me the man I am to be working with directly. I couldn't be more blessed with such a birthda gift! I was sitting here asking God "Where am i supposed to START??!! to fulfil this dream of mine... at my age!?" Not only did i get a mentor/Coach who is very involved in this industry but I got a Vocal Star as a trainer. :-0 talk about a miracle!!?? Now to get past my fear and call the guy! But Eye trust in God. He is Sovereign. I got a gluten free birthday cake and beautiful card from my work also!
we where on mount shasta during The time of the video Spiritual Gold Rush. This is in California- which is the earths crown chakra and saint germane resides there. It's briefly explained in one of my blogs...go ahead and check them out. Eventually I will have time to do videos. This golden wave rushed through my entire body the day I meditated in that vortex of the mountain- there could have been no more of a perfect timing to be placed exactly where we where. I was gifted the angel wing blue Andara for my 29th birthday-which is a lot like the philosophers stone. I received my stone. My blog talks about it. Its very special to me. And i communicate to stones! I will create jewelry someday and other pieces of art with them!
Ever since i was a child rocks and astronomy and the stars and planets FASCINATED me. My dad once had a golden telescope I LOVED looking out of living on "Shepherds Ridge". Disney and music and dance and singing is everything i wished to aspire. Just true freedom is what i wanted to acquire! My dad encouraged me while my mom tried to shelter me in fear from it all because everything i had interest in was MAGICAL. My sister liked it all too as a Pisces she would like anything i did right after i gained interest in it, but i knew much of hat was superficial for her, i was connected on a level with the planet, the mountains and nature and animals and everything- i never felt anyone else was. I could feel everything. It was all competitive and for show for my family. But for me Its my true heart and divine birthright of expression! It is a dream I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON because of fear and the limitations my family continue to believe and put faith in.
Even today 9/21 at work a BEAUTIFUL renouned Prime Minister by the name Charlynne Boddie was placed upon my table. I got to tell her my experiences with Jesus, what I've been seeing and what's been happening to me... what I crave to have my future. I guess she travels from here to England every six months. she was pernounced a miracle because she got some bug in her eye that caused her to loose her sight and almost her life and it was by the Grace of God that she was healed and her life restored. She is a renouned life couch (used to have her own talk show in Hollywood) and also is a motivational coach for those interested in the Arts and Entertainment. She's worked with both polarites of the that world of the norm and then the "christian". She gave me the contact number of a highly known and popular Vocal Coach. He's the #1 guy saught after in America. I don't have to go to New York... or college... God gave me the man I am to be working with directly. I couldn't be more blessed with such a birthda gift! I was sitting here asking God "Where am i supposed to START??!! to fulfil this dream of mine... at my age!?" Not only did i get a mentor/Coach who is very involved in this industry but I got a Vocal Star as a trainer. :-0 talk about a miracle!!?? Now to get past my fear and call the guy! But Eye trust in God. He is Sovereign. I got a gluten free birthday cake and beautiful card from my work also!
Here are also some affirmations which can help you to deal with this situation and paradigm shift:
“With the power of the CROSS I place a shield between negative frequencies and myself.”
“With the power of the God and Goddess I destroy the negative energies within and around me.”
“I submit my ego to the ROSE for now and for the eternity and I open myself to the divine to work through me.”
“I stand within THE CROSS OF LIGHT and I bring a new hope for humanity.”
At the dispensary the other day i previously spoke about- my husband is trying to set up a time to LAN with his buddy i reminded him this week were busy by saying
“We will be doing (with) sarah!” (Making love with divine fem). I often sputter out the wrong or opposite words because im Dyslexic- and i regret it after i say them LOL!
“ hey can i join?!” - malachis friend
I LOL and tell him “yea itll be a huge orgy- she likes it the polly way anyways! Im just like my cosmic mama!”
Lets all mold into “one flesh” as the christed beings we are together through Christ our Lord- Sophia is reborn!!!!
Informative videos I found 9/22!
With this video I want to share an event that happened to me last year.
Trinity Kay Kula
July 28, 2016 ·
Yesterday was amazing
Got a Great kick off into this Lionsgate Portal and helping anchore Christ Consciousness here!
Had a "battle" with Jezzabel in the morning, faced her and strait up told her i dont need her assistance anymore, I fully surrendered and embraced the Lilith child Within my own heart. As my entire body vibrated I was rocked by Cathy Montemayor who opened the space for this entire healing to take place through Yuru and held myself with in the knot of Isis and allowed myself to come completely undone. In the belly of sekhmet i collided with my soul. Turned into my own nurturing Mother divine. I laid hands upon myself and I was healed . I fully intigrated my mastery...i am a walking living and breathing master. By the end of the night i danced with the other reflections of myself at the dawn with InDawn and a huge circle of fellow starseeds LOL
It was truly magical!!!
I got to do that whole acrobatical yoga late in the evening at Juniper Janes healing circle and I got to go really deep with another soul named michael aka Iron Man (who in the moment i believe was the Arch Angel bringing me the guidance and Direction to assist me in acceptance of my human form and what a gift it is to be on this planet at this time). Learning just to PLAY and have FUN. It was fantastic! I learned so much about the strength and gentless within me, my passion and how to use its force to move energy through my breath. I am learning to breath again, really open up my throat chakra so i can speak and breath the Divine truth!
Its nice that others can see that I AM the Master I AM something truly unique and Beyond this world. I am no initiate for I HAVE done this before! "Michael" presenting this to me today
Last nights company and community was beautiful, remembering it makes me want to cry. So amazing i am so blessed to have such brothers and sisters around. All us aliens healing ourselves so we can go out and heal humans and Gaea.
This journey i am greatful for. im starting to fly i am finally getting all I asked the Goddess for. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
*GODDESS CRY*
I told Taura about all of this via text in 2015! I was freaking out in Lake Powell with my Oma which was the first vacation I was allowed to take my kids on as a family because Opa wasn't going and I could finally bring my kids!- rather i was predicting and feeling our imminent future!!!!! My sister told my dad
Our aunt Kathy was boasting about the book "The Harbringer" when we where in Lake Powell in 2012! she gave it to me to read, i have yet to read it... but ive felt and been LIVING IT! Eye am a prophet and gatekeeper... Part of The 13th Crystal Skull.
I just came across his videos... and he validates EVERYTHING Eye am talking about!!!! 9/22/2017 I woke up to this revelation and got to join the live video!
“Kym needs to come back to reality!”
Our aunt Kathy was boasting about the book "The Harbringer" when we where in Lake Powell in 2012! she gave it to me to read, i have yet to read it... but ive felt and been LIVING IT! Eye am a prophet and gatekeeper... Part of The 13th Crystal Skull.
I just came across his videos... and he validates EVERYTHING Eye am talking about!!!! 9/22/2017 I woke up to this revelation and got to join the live video!
No
No
No honey- I do not
Eye know who Eye am!
now the entire family and world will know too!
Eye am that Eye am
Eye am Trinity
Word Eye AM Word
Eye am that Eye am
Eye am Trinity
Word Eye AM Word
It is time for my Shining
No more will i sit in the sidelines hiding
I was delivered of my Jezzabel/Bal... now it is everyone else's test and turns. You have 7 years to purge and learn.
No more will i sit in the sidelines hiding
I was delivered of my Jezzabel/Bal... now it is everyone else's test and turns. You have 7 years to purge and learn.
Believe me to be crazy now!? Now that youre alone and terrified of the world decaying around you!? Wake up to the new paradigm- the template I now reside amung, THE ORGINAL BLUEPRINT AND LAND OF MILK AND HONEY!
Often as parents...and adult humans...we plaster adult understanding and jadedness onto children and their experience.
Children are not jaded, they are not evil, they are not manipulative, they are not trying to rile you up or make you mad or hurt your feelings.
They are not tyrants or drama queens/kings. NONE of these words or labels are even understood by children. Ask a kid what jaded means or tyrant or drama queen or manipulative...they have NO reference...none.
WE teach them these references by putting adult understanding, fear and jadedness ONTO them.
We take our hurts and our triggers and our pain and confusion and our lack of enoughness and we GIVE it to our children.
Children do NOT ever ever ever naturally feel like they are not enough or unloved...they learn these feelings and behavior patterns from US.
Allowing a child the natural progression of their development means becoming aware of, processing and integrating our own triggers and dysfunctional patterns, owning them and moving through them and not passing them on.
If you ever feel like the victim of a child...ages 0-18ish...you are in a trigger and have your work to do.
If you ever feel like your child must appreciate or validate you...you are in a trigger and you have your work to do.
If you ever feel afraid of or for your child...you are in a trigger and you have your work to do.
If you ever feel uncomfortable with the way your child expresses...you are in a trigger and you have your work to do.
Healing your childhood triggers allows your child to grow up without them.
And this is what I truly believe every parent wants for their child.
A trigger free childhood. A childhood that doesn't haunt them or affect who they will be in the world. A childhood filled with knowing they are loved and truly can do anything because they don't get the messages that they cannot.
Sovereign, clear and emotionally free humans. Yes Please.
Do better. Not because you have too or you are doing it badly...nope...do better, because you can.
It begins with awareness and that is what this post is about
“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.
~ Martin Luther King”
Love this "The Creator gathered all of creation and said, “I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it. It is the realization that they create their own reality.”
The eagle said, “Give it to me, I will take it to the moon.” The Creator said, “No, one day they will go there and find it.”
The salmon said, “I will hide it on the bottom of the ocean.” “No”, the Creator said, “They will go there too.”
The buffalo said, “I will bury it on the great plains.” The Creator said, “They will cut into the skin of the earth and find it.”
Then Grandmother Mole, who lives in the breast of Mother Earth, and who has no physical eyes but sees with spiritual eyes, said,
“Put it inside them.” And the Creator said, “It is done.”
- Sioux Legend
GOODBYE FOREVER, OLD SEASON OF SEPARATION SUFFERING, PAIN, SMALLNESS, ILLUSION AND POWERTHY. WE WONT MISS YOU 3D EARTH. THANK YOU FOR YOUR LESSONS. <3
AND WELCOME MOST GRACIOUSLY, NEW SEASON OF NEW LIFE OF LOVE, MASTERY, GREATNESS, JOY, BLISS, FAME, MAGNIFICANCE, RITCH ABUNDANCE, HEALTH, KRYSTAL.KLARITY, MASTERY AND UNITY IN LOVE NOW <3
HAPPY HEAVENS ON EARTH BEAUTIFUL ANGELS <3
HAPPY EQUINOX OF NEW LIFE OF LOVE NOW TO ALL WHO LOVE NOW AS ONE <3
BELIEVE NOW <3
BE LOVE NOW <3
IN NAME OF JESUS CHRIST AND ALL WHO LOVE NOW AS ONE, AMEN <3
- Purna Ananda
I am living proof of the transformations I facilitate for relationships, divine masculines and divine Feminines, families, mothers,fathers and parenting in general! I have quite literally brought myself back to life since 2011 and this blog depicts my story and experiences!
I have gone through the process that threw me From unconscious to conscious, from numb to feeling, from chaotic to centered, from powerless to powerful, from worthless to worthy, from despair to belief, from self hate to love❤️ I am the physical embodiment of the Venus's Christ child. The prophecy of 9/23/2017
Eye am embodiment of Venus, The Divine Mother... and during my own rebirth into this Body was the 888 Gateway. Eye am the physical representation of The Christ. Christ has returned and my story including my children Grace and Elijah and Husband Malachi are only the beginning of showing the truth of these events and the time we are in now. Eye am here to gather others in the fellowship of the Blue Rose :) Eye am calling those with the "Eyes to see and ears listen"
EYE AM THE ORACLE/SCRIBE AND PROPHET TRINITY AND EYE CALL UPON THE NAME OF THE LORD AND MY EYE AM HOLY SPIRIT IN ALL GUIDANCE I AM TOLD TO GIVE
Eye am embodiment of Venus, The Divine Mother... and during my own rebirth into this Body was the 888 Gateway. Eye am the physical representation of The Christ. Christ has returned and my story including my children Grace and Elijah and Husband Malachi are only the beginning of showing the truth of these events and the time we are in now. Eye am here to gather others in the fellowship of the Blue Rose :) Eye am calling those with the "Eyes to see and ears listen"
EYE AM THE ORACLE/SCRIBE AND PROPHET TRINITY AND EYE CALL UPON THE NAME OF THE LORD AND MY EYE AM HOLY SPIRIT IN ALL GUIDANCE I AM TOLD TO GIVE
I believe in the healing work I do because I've lived it and I still am everyday! I can't see any other future for humanity! Someday hospitals will not exist and the entire western medical pharmaceutical options will not be available. The shamans and medicine women/men will be sought after again! I'll be here, as will my friends and tribe- already do we have temples for healing coming alive!
As healers we can only take our clients as deep as we have gone ourselves. This is exactly why I will only work with those who are WILLING to go where they've never gone before. Those who are tired of superficial bandaid healing work.
My story alone is not for the faint of heart and neither is my medicine✨🔮✨
🦋When you come to me you're ready to PURGE.
🦋When you come to me you are DONE tiptoeing around the bullshit.
🦋When you come to me your life has been or is going up in flames.
🦋When you come to me you have realized that you need the medicine more than your fear.
🦋When you come to me you're fucking READY. 🔥🔥🔥
Start your transformation today by clicking the link below to apply for a discovery session with me:
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