Epiphan-ation-ized

okay so i just had an epiphany of some sorts. I've been really seriously thinking about going back to school. I'm just hesitant because I don't know what I want to do, there's so many things I feel driven towards, and I've been doubting whether I have the real abilities to do any of them or have the capability to take on a huge responsibility such as school while being a single mom of two kids. I'd have to balance work, school and them, of which I pray I'd survive the stress, but I'm pretty certain at this point its what i need to do.

I feel like my career as a massage therapist is limited because of how my body is handling it physically at this point and I can't continue healing people in that way unless i move more into the energy type modalities such as Reiki or Chi Nei Tsang, which I plan to pursue because I feel being involved in practices that expand consciousness will benefit me greater monetarily, but I otherwise have a passion right now to learn something again that is going to empower me individually and needs to have a nurturing component.

I feel I need to craft a path of study which will push me out into the limelight. I need a career where I can be the center of attention but that i can also use to empower others (possibly Social Work or Drama Therapy). I need to have a really wide-ranging education, one that incorporates things like acting and performance skills (because I love music and dancing, singing, and using it as therapeutic interpretation and expression) or developing some potential therapies that involve sports (though sports are my least favorite thing), recreation and hiking/camping. I would suppose that the Internet and higher technology will also be a part of something I'd like to study.

All I know is that I need to engage in more assertive and individualistic practices and I need to make it fun and uplifting. I have some talents in writing and a gift in being a fun and witty conversationalist, perhaps a job where im engulfed with reading and writing and can reach out to others world wide to share my experiences and thoughts. I'm just searching for my artistic voice (although i realize i can be a bit superficial and a bit glib. Sometimes maybe tactless. But regardless, somehow there's a sense of goofy fun about me. I'm weird, i'll never deny that). It's part of my life to learn what fun means to me and to find others of like mind. I know I am full of creativity and need to write and be around society and within a thick culture no matter what I do. I'm a humanitarian by nature and I want to bring people back to life. After all I lifted myself up out of the pits of hell and only continue to do so with the strength from God and I want to help others do so in their own lives.

I need to be where my soul can echo and have the ability to focus and remain balanced on my cooperation and balance in relating to others and empowering them vs. my need to express my individuality in a fiery and daring manner.